Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: Buffy reveals a secret to Xander who fumbles through his words and does his best to help. (...yeah, this still applies.)
Word Count: 875
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“Why’d he choose you all and not me?” Spike is pacing.
Xander watches him go back and forth, back and forth. It’s making him slightly dizzy, which probably means it’s been a little too long since he last took a nap, but he can’t summon up the energy to stop watching. “It’s Ripper Giles. Short for Constantine Giles. He doesn’t tell us squat.” He makes a face. “Where does that phrase come from, anyway? It’s weird.”
Spike pauses, staring with shocked appreciation. “Yeah, I c’n see that, but ‘ow the ‘ell d’ya know Constantine, luv?”
Xander smiles sheepishly. “There was this comic books store Jesse’s mom used to take us to. Not too often, since it was on the outskirts of L.A., but every now and then. We found those and it was all teenage boy stuff—danger, excitement, maybe even sex, saving the world while flipping off all things attempting to be authority figures the British way. We didn’t buy any, since one of the parents would’ve found it, but we’d sit in there and we’d read the whole thing.”
The blond almost looks gentle as he asks, “’oo’s Jesse?”, but it earns a stricken expression all the same.
Dru’s distressed, swaying around. “Promise you’ll be careful, Spike. Dorothy’s coming to town with all her little friends and they’re not as you remember them. For all the Tin Man’s brains he is the Heart. The little dog Toto’s got fangs. Oz is really the Cowardly Lion. Glinda and the Lion have history and the man behind the curtain puts on a puppet show. The Scarecrow’s blue and she stole an improved brain by sacrificing her heart.”
Spike kisses her forehead. “I’ll be careful, pet.”
“I found you a bloody Watcher,” Spike says, and Xander sighs and sets down the soldering iron.
“Hello to you too. Also, I don’t know if you got the memo; I happen to be a Watcher myself. Then again, you don’t have an office or a desk, so maybe you didn’t get it.”
“Is it the bureaucracy that makes the lot of you raving idiots?” Spike asks. It’s a rhetorical question. “Though all things considered, I think you’re still more stable than Droopy.”
“Is that what we’re calling Angel this week?” He perks up a little. Buffy still gets mad, but she doesn’t get that this is his way of connecting with Angel without losing it. Seriously, Angel has seen way too much that should be strictly confidential and if they actually are civil there may be tears, and that’s not of the good. “See? Memos? Good.”
There’s a snort in the background. Xander guesses it’s probably Spike trying to contain his amusement. “By watcher, I meant more a babysitter. Keep you from blowing yourself up. The Little Bit wouldn’t like it.”
He blinks and then goes back to his workstation, fingers flying over the keys. At least he can do something. Be productive somehow. “Hey, I don’t blow things up that much, and last I checked I wasn’t under the age of, say, seventeen? Is that the cutoff point for babysitters?”
“I’d like to see you try to convince her that you’re an adult,” the vampire says, with bite. Which, yeah, maybe he was seeing how far Spike’s patience went. Still. “She said in the interview that she can deal with the odd, so you should hire her.”
He pauses what he’s doing and hacks into the Knight Innovations private (read: vampire-safe) jet to read the resumé submitted, and snorts into his cup of tea (earl grey, strong, he needed the caffeine and ran out of the good coffee a couple of days ago and forgot to replace it). “She lied.” It’s not even the way it’s phrased. He’s gotten better about reading tech, and she’d written this on her personal computer.
“Fine, she’s Cordy’s cousin,” Spike responded, and for a moment the world stops and all Xander can hear is his heartbeat, unnaturally loud, in his ears.
“Uh, yeah, okay, that’ll do it,” he manages, voice hoarse, and clears his throat. “Any other Chases I should know about?” The idea that he’d take care of them somehow is a given. Scoobies take care of their own. As well as they’re capable, given that they’re, well, them and completely capable of fights over the stupidest things.
“The dad’s a wanker, the other cousin Timmy’s happily employed, and the rest are dead, so no,” Spike says honestly, and Xander sits back and lets out a bark of laughter.
“It’s a pleasure to hear from you as always,” Xander murmurs and then shuts off the communication.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: Xander spots a dangerous artifact, and the Stone Mask begins to haunt his dreams.
Word Count: 1376
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
A/N: It's probably important to mention at this point that there are several different types of vampires that will be running around in this fic. The first is the 'normal' (at least, to the Watcher's Council) brand of Buffy vampires. There's a lot of emphasis on family lines and intrigue between different groups and Master Vampires holding power. (Some vampires just want money or to watch the world burn.) The recently vamped are pretty weak and fairly easy even for humans to stake, and they grow in power as they age (i.e. survive not staking). They're stronger than normal humans and faster, but other than that they usually have to train or learn magic or the like just like humans. They feed by sucking blood, and can pretend to be human usually, though when angered or otherwise wanting to go into combat have a 'Game Face' which appears much more feral than the human visage. They cannot enter homes uninvited and can be killed by decapitation, staking, sunlight, fire, and holy water.
In other words, the vast majority of them are the wimpier, easier to kill cousins of Jojo's vampires. Ancient vampires are far more likely to be tougher, but still provide more ways to kill them.
JJBA vampires usually feed by sticking their fingers into the bodies of their victims. Sunlight works, and fire weakens them, but good luck trying the other methods. Those who run into these vampires with either Hamon or Stands (which do more damage than just ordinary fighting, but you'd still need to have more endurance than the vampire in question to survive that) have an edge over the ordinary populace, but the fact that these vampires are still a lot tougher still remains.
The Turak-han introduced at the end of Buffy are probably related—like JJBA vampires, only fire and sunlight and massive damage really do anything to them, but they're more likely to kill you before you can kill them. Still, they have very little in human intelligence, more the sort of predator cunning, and as far as anyone's aware did not used to be human.
If anything else needs clarified, don't hesitate to ask!
CAST OF CHARACTERS APPEARING IN CHAPTER 1
Spike-A Buffy vampire with a soul who's joined up with the Watcher's Council. Like Angel, he is of the line of Aurelius, but doesn't trust magic. He likes to talk about how he's still the Big Bad, but he's practically adopted this group as family, and if you threaten them, he'll do his best to show you why he kept the nickname "the Bloody".
Glory-A Hell goddess the Scoobies fought.
The First-The First Evil. As an insubstantial ideal, the First could not physically affect the world, but could use agents and also take on the appearance of the dead to torment its enemies.
Angel-Also a Buffy style vampire. Nicknames: Deadboy, Peaches. He also doesn't tend to use magic, despite being of the line of Aurelius, but is more knowledgeable in such things than Spike. He tends to brood a lot, but if he's not currently evil or brooding too deeply, he's definitely useful in the good fight.