“Sometimes, people actually say what they mean. I know it’s a completely new concept for you, but there it is.”
“You were just…arguing really loudly outside my door. With yourself.”
“Sorry about that. Occupational hazard.”
“Want? No, I don’t want it. Want implies it’s a choice. I need this, Buff.”
“Any news on the Kessel Run?”
“Made it in under six parsecs.”
“Keep it up.
“He still had a crush, by the way. ‘Till the day he died. Which means you’re a cool guy, so I’d like to get to know you.” Xander, for once, doesn’t manage a response, so he laughs. “Not like that. It’d be a little soon after, don’t you think? Besides, you’re attractive, but not my type. I just…” He sighs, drawing in on himself a little. “I could use a friend right now.”
Instantly any hesitation vanishes. “I’ll warn you, I have no idea how to be a friend despite extensive research, but complaints only run in the hundreds, so I think you’ll be fine.”
“Oh, that good, huh?” Cho asks with a raised eyebrow and the ghost of a grin, and in Xander’s head Tony mouths ‘finally’ over a cup of...you know what, Tony probably has no idea either. That gets Xander to laugh.
“Is this a pity date?”
“If it is, the bell tolls for me, not thee.”
Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: faster to read
Word Count: 25
Rating: Teen
“Are you okay?”
The woman, still blinking owlishly like she’s still in shock, glances down then back up again. “I still have boobs. That’s weird.”
When Willow finally asks to see him, everybody breathes a little easier, but they all crowd in to listen, just in case. “I forgive you. For now. You ever do anything like this without my permission ever again and I will make Anya’s demon days look like a frolic through flowers.”
“What happened?” Xander holding an ice pack to his head is not a common occurrence, exactly, even if he does tend to forget his spatial awareness after a while if he’s been working on a problem.
He winces. “Flying in a hailstorm. Ow. Need to work on that impact absorption.”
“Our Xander is Different.”
“What?”
“TVTropes thing. Nothing. Never mind.”
“Do you have an angry blue sister?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.”
Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: faster to read
Word Count: 55
Rating: Teen
“Slayer here. You reading me, Paladin?”
“Yep, loud and clear.”
“Okay, report in, what’s up?”
“Well, we were actually wondering if you could have a speech for the folks here at our little shindig.”
“You’re having a party without me?
“We’ll bring you cake.”
“Forgiven. As long as it’s a small cake all for me.”
“That line there about making the world a better place? It’s not just some fancy slogan; I do believe that. Maybe it’s naive and unattainable, but just ‘cause we can’t make it perfect doesn’t mean we shouldn’t improve. It doesn’t cheapen our efforts. It doesn’t erase the good we’ve done.”
He adapts the Exoskel to a Containment Cylinder for villain capture, or Concyl, because everything has to have a catchy name. (Or so he says. Kris suspects he gets a kick out of making people trying to pronounce made-up words.)
“Dear, the science is broken again.”
“Did you try gently vortexing?”
“Why didn’t I think of that?”
“That’s why you have me here to troubleshoot.”
Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: faster to read
Word Count: 135
Rating: Teen
Kris finds Xander drooling into a pile of some Very Important Official Papers, all capitalized. Her only response? “Not again.”
When Xander thinks about it, really thinks about it, he’s partial to Silver Paladin.
It’s not any more or less derivative than anything else anyone has proposed, and it can evoke ‘White Knight’ without actually being White Knight, especially, well. Not that he has any guarantees that it’ll go the way it does in any of the futures he remembers, but in a lot of universes those end up having connotations he’d really like to not associate himself with. Silver Paladin can have some of the positive connotations with the added benefit of him distancing himself from the negative ones. Plus, then there’s the parallel to Star. Most people won’t know that, he’s keeping the AI stuff closer to his chest because he’s seen how that goes wrong, too, but he’ll know, and she’ll know.
“You have a company?”
“You don’t? I thought they were all the rage, the newest thing. Everyone has one these days, right?”
“...Yep, that’s Xander.”
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