broken reflections

[madimpossibledreamer]

it is highly unlikely though not impossible that a chapter of Shadowed Suspicion will occur this week.  It will almost definitely not be on time if it happens.
~dreamer~

Main Points:
Judgment/Judge Eyes, Pre-relationship
Chapter Summary: Kaito and Yagami have a necessary talk.
Word Count: 680
Rating: Teen

          When Kaito returns to the detective agency, all the lights are dark and Tak’s curled up uncomfortably on one of his couches.  He hasn’t even bothered with a blanket, and he’d even taken off the ever-present leather jacket.
          He looks cold.
          Kaito gets closer, because he does want to have that talk but also Tak doesn’t get near enough sleep these days.  And then Yagami sniffles, and Kaito’s heart drops into his stomach, because crap, Tak hasn’t cried in his sleep since Emi-chan died.
          He reaches out, ready to wipe away the tears, only he’s forgotten that Tak’s a light sleeper and there’s instantly a hand wrapping around Kaito’s arm, holding him in place.
          “Sorry,” Tak apologizes with a yawn, sitting up slowly in the dark.  “We need to talk.”
          He sits there, motionless except for his uneven breathing, before he chuckles hollowly.  “It’s hard to know where to start, though, huh?”  He sounds half dead.  Again, he hadn’t sounded that bad since Okubo…  “I guess…do you want me to forget about it?  Because I can, if you want—”
          He’s not meeting Kaito’s gaze.  He’s not even looking at him, staring into the distance, and it’s breaking Kaito’s heart—again.  The ex-Yakuza grabs Tak’s hands, holding them still, even as it makes Yagami jump and shrink in on himself, holding himself even smaller.  “I want what you want.  What do you want, Tak?”
          Tak fidgets and breathes in, loud and upset.  “I—I don’t…”
          “If we’re going to talk, we both have to lay it out on the line.  I think it’s probably pretty clear where I stand, here, but I want to know what you think.”  He doesn’t let go.  If he only gets to hold Yagami’s hands once, he’s going to go for it.
          “I—” And then Tak starts sobbing.  “I’m so selfish.  Kaito—”
          “I don’t care about you being selfish.”  Kaito does his best to keep the smile on his face, no matter how hard this is.
          “Please don’t leave me!” Tak bursts out, desperate.  “I’m a complete mess, and Higashi wasn’t wrong when he said I was a time bomb, but still…I need you.”
          “I was never going to leave.  I don’t need you to play along to get me to stay.  How do you want to play this?”  Because attractive as he is, Tak is his buddy that he’s not going to abandon, and not just for the money and the job.
          And in response, Tak…
          Tak leans in to kiss him, and he’d be enjoying it if it wasn’t for the desperate way Yagami appears to be drowning.  It hurts Kaito, but he pries Tak off, only to hear the gasping breaths.  Tak’s crying again, and this time he wipes away the tears uninterrupted.
          “Gotta say, Tak, if you’re gonna cry every time we kiss it dampens the mood a little,” Kaito jokes softly, to show that he’s okay with this no matter what happens, and it gets just the slightest hint of a smile from Yagami.
          “Why do you care?” Takayuki manages eventually when his breathing finally calms down.
          “If you’re looking for long speeches or deeply thought out reasons, I’m not your guy, but…”  Kaito considers, returning his hand to grasp Yagami’s own.  “There aren’t that many people out there who would give an ex-yakuza a chance.  You basically saved me, Tak.  And we understand each other, and you’re attractive.”  The smile’s there and real but watery.
          “I do want this, I just…I’m bad at this,” Takayuki mutters and Kaito smiles.
          “My only real experience is in places like soaplands.  We’ll figure it out.”  Kaito gets up and grabs one of the blankets from the corner of the office.  He then sits at the end of the couch and pats his thighs.  “Get some more sleep, Tak.”
          Yagami’s breathing’s finally calmed, and he gets a fond if tired look.  He lies back down, using Kaito as a pillow, who then tucks the blanket over him.  Tak’s out quickly as soon as Kaito starts running hands through his hair soothingly.