A Precious Mask

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Steins;Gate Universe Optional
Chapter Summary: Okabe discarded Hououin Kyouma to save Mayuri.  Once he uses it to reach Steins;Gate, he finds he needs it for himself.
Word Count: 250
Rating: teen

Okabe Rintarou needs Hououin Kyouma.  At first, without that mask, he doesn’t know how to interact with the world.  If he’s talking and he’s Hououin Kyouma…well, he doesn’t exactly have a script for every moment, but he’s sure of himself.  He can actually act.  Stripped of that, he’s vulnerable and…well, who the hell is Okabe Rintarou anyway?  He doesn’t know; hasn’t known for years.

And, of course, there’s Mayuri.  She needs it, too; and he’d do anything for her.  Pluck the stars out of the sky for a present, and of course, he has moved heaven and earth and time itself, just for her.

Later, it’s because they’ll be waiting for a train, or Mayushii’s watch will begin losing time and need repairs and his heart will stop.  He’ll mention something that no one ever said, not in this worldline, or react to something that none of the rest remember, and he knows they worry about his sanity, if he’s really losing it after all these years.  Easier to just keep up the act, keep them guessing, then have them worry for real.

He’s still not quite sure who Rintarou is, but he suspects that Rintarou, the true personality, might be bound up with or connected with the Time Traveler in some way.  He doesn’t want to think about it.  Kyouma is a certainty.  Real.  Alive.  It’s easy in a way that nothing is anymore, not even after it’s all over, so he clings to it for all he’s worth.