Comfort vs Oblivion

[madimpossibledreamer]

In canon, Leon’s been shown to have problems with alcohol if maybe not alcoholism (largely not in the “main games”, but there’s at least one scene in Resident Evil Vendetta and I think I read elsewhere). Moderation drinking is a new thing (where you can have some and not just go cold turkey, but obviously that’s not for everyone), and I’ve read that problem drinking has a lot more variation on how it manifests (and might be basing some of this off of anecdotes). Meanwhile, it’s something that would bother Xander. I really like writing these two working through their problems like an actual real couple. This was partially written after Heart Finds a Perch, so it’s comparatively old.

Main Points:
Buffy/Devil May Cry/Resident Evil/Background NCIS Crossover (Hold My Heart)
Chapter Summary: Xander's not the only one who needs some support.
Word Count: 620
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Leon/Xander
Warning: as per above author's note, discussion of Leon's alcoholism

 

         It’s clear Xander hadn’t been expecting him, the moment he opens the door, disheveled, half asleep, and blinking, adorably confused. Of course he hadn’t been; Leon had been the jerk who just showed up on his doorstep without even calling ahead.
         “Sorry, I just—when I got back, my apartment was just so empty, and I remembered the one you were renting wasn’t that much further, and I—” He realizes he’s babbling and doesn’t even mean to. That’s not even his thing. It’s Xander’s.
         The blue gaze sharpens to match the look of concern. “Are you okay?”
         “Yeah, it’s not even like it was a hard mission, it’s just that…sometimes things hit you and I really should have called ahead—” A part of him had just…flashed back to those times where it’d be a hard day on the force, like when he was learning to use a gun for the first time—he caught on quickly and was good at it as long as he didn’t think about the fact that he was being expected to use those skills on actual fellow humans in the future—and he got to go back to his girlfriend, and it felt normal and safe and he needed that.
         In response, Xander just moves out of the way, and by this point Leon knows him well enough to understand why there’s no verbal invitation. He comes in, relaxing a little the second he crosses the threshold and smells one of Willow’s safe-burning candles.
         The alternative had been drinking himself stupid, and Xander hadn’t reacted well to that. So he was trying not to use alcohol as a crutch anymore, and had been a little horrified about how much he’d craved it. He’d known it was a problem, but not that bad.
         “I think I’ve still got a couple of those hot cocoa packets with the little marshmallows, and last I saw they were showing terrible Syfy movies in a marathon.” Xander yawns, but then, it is late and he’d just recently got back from a mission of his own with probably little sleep. Leon would feel guilty about that if he didn’t suspect Xander slept better with him around, even if it was in awkward positions slumped against each other on the couch.
         “Sounds good.” Leon follows him to the kitchen and props himself against a countertop, trying to look nonchalant even if he’s still far more keyed up than he’d like. He still can’t look at his boyfriend’s face, mostly just staring at his hands as he goes through the familiar motions of making two cups of cocoa. “And…and maybe, tomorrow, you can help me go through and get rid of my beer collection.” They’ve been through this—for whatever reason, Leon isn’t even tempted by the wine, only using it for cooking or a glass with dinner, but the beer and occasionally whiskey get to him. There’s a different…vibe to it? Wine’s for when he’s feeling okay, like he’s a functional human being with manners, while beer’s for when he’s feeling like the scum of the earth. Or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t drink the beer much with food.
         According to his therapist, he’s not an alcoholic, but that doesn’t preclude problem drinking, supposedly. He should probably talk to her, too, because now that he’s admitting out loud it’s a problem, he also has to admit it’s been a problem for a while and he just didn’t want to admit it. She can probably help, but Xander’s support will probably be just as crucial.
         Xander’s gasp is quiet, but he reaches out and squeezes Leon’s hand, putting all the emotion he can’t verbalize into his touch. “I’d like that.”