Flow with the Design

[madimpossibledreamer]

jun and tatsuya being mentors for the actual lgbtq+ IT is one of my favorite things about writing this they're such good mentor figures

Main Points:
Persona 2/Persona 4 crossover (Broken Hero)
Chapter Summary: Yosuke gets some advice on being a baby bisexual.
Word Count: 2260
Rating: Teen
only tatsuya & yosuke appear in person
Warning: yosuke doesn't realize that being bisexual is even a thing (briefly at the beginning)

         It’s hard to tell from Suou-san’s expression how he feels, but when Yosuke knocks, nervous, hovering in the doorway, the police officer doesn’t just send him away, and it’s not too long until the nurse finishes her check-in and leaves. Yosuke waits to ask for a bit, just in case, because not being shy about it and advertising it are two different things. Fortunately, the older Persona-User seems to just get it. He does that a lot, really. Yosuke would start out with more of an intro, too, but from the way he talks just diving right in doesn’t seem to be a thing he finds rude, and if the line of questioning is too far or something the man can shut it down faster. “So, uh…how long have you known you just like guys?”
         Suou-san has the same possibly amused look in his eyes that he gets when Kashihara-san does something he thinks is funny. “I don’t.”
         That doesn’t compute, and the line of Yosuke’s thoughts skips like there’s a scratch on the CD. Given everything they’ve seen, that just doesn’t make sense, but pathetically, all Yosuke can manage to do is stammer. “But—Kashihara-san?”
         At least the police officer is kind in his own gruff way and doesn’t let Yosuke flail about in confusion for too long. “I like men and women. Have for as long as I can remember, so I’m not sure how much help I’ll be to you, kid.”
         “I’m not—” The protest is instinctual, because he is, and it’s probably pretty obvious too. Still, he’d only just now started accepting that truth in his own mind, so to say it out loud is a scary thing.
         Suou-san sits up to look him straight in the eye. “Being a man means not letting other people define you. Do what you want, and screw what other people think.”
         Damn, that’s such a cool way to put it. It’d be easier if he wasn’t such a scaredy-cat, but then, even in that he wasn’t alone, if Suou-san was too concerned that romance would break the world that he’d denied it for so long.
         “I—um, do you have any other advice you can give me? Not that I’m implying your advice just now was bad or anything—!” Dammit, there his mouth goes again. Still, the police officer waits patiently, not scolding him for wasting his time or anything.
         “Like I said, I’ve felt this way so long it feels natural, so I’m not sure what else to tell you. I’m not a good teacher in any case, not like Jun.” It’s clear he’s thinking, though. “Well, some of that’s to be expected, now you’re in a small town. You don’t have quite the same kind of support. People who stand out are more common in the city, so being the first in anything doesn’t matter. I had a good support structure. No one was even surprised when I announced that I liked Jun, at least among my friends, and I think it’s the only decision I’ve ever made my brother never interrogated me about.”
         That actually makes Yosuke laugh, and he thinks he sees a vague smirk before Suou-san returns to flicking the lighter thoughtfully. “To make it clear, it doesn’t matter if you like women, men, or both. That alone doesn’t make you a good or bad person, and it doesn’t matter what the hell other adults in your life say, I’ll still accept you.”
         Yosuke looks away, trying to hide the fact that those are tears. He doesn’t think his parents would be too upset, although maybe it might make his mom worry, but it’s not like he’s talked about this with them, either. It’s…well, it’s nice to hear. “You say you always felt like this, but…does it feel differently for you between your crushes or anything?” The fact that he’s so worried about this probably is an answer, but hell, it’d be nice to have some kind of cheat sheet to know for sure.
         Suou-san’s shaking his head, and if anything that’s guilt right there. “I don’t really have a type.”
         Yosuke doesn’t even voice his incredulity out loud this time. The police officer just continues. “Really. I had a crush on three of my teammates when I was younger, if you think me talking about that will help.”
         The teen adjusts the headphones around his neck, trying not to seem too eager, because that seems kind of personal and private. He hadn’t hesitated to ask Souji, but they’ve already seen a lot of Suou-san’s inner thoughts and—
         Huh. Maybe part of that is trying to figure out what Souji is thinking because he didn’t have a Shadow. Food for thought. Later. “If you want to, Suou-san.”
         The police officer snorts like the idea is ridiculous—but then, he’s still maybe getting used to the idea that he might deserve things like privacy or anything else, really. He’ll just glare if Yosuke asks him if he’s sure, though. “You’ve already met Jun. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone so fast and so deeply. It felt like we just instantly formed this connection. He just got me, which is nice, because I don’t usually feel like talking this much.” As Yosuke begins to protest, maybe apologizing and leaving, he shakes his head decisively. “I wouldn’t have responded if you didn’t need the answer. You’re not bothering me. I’d say to ask Jun because he’s better with words, but I’m guessing there’s a reason you came to me, so maybe you’re looking for the kind of answer only I can give—and, among other things, Jun can’t relate to finding women attractive.” Well, he isn’t the type to do things simply because people ask it of him, as he’d apparently been ignoring various requests from his friends for years, so yeah, maybe that concern is a little off.
         That’s another nice thing, Yosuke works out, sitting and listening to him talk. He’d been certain Yosuke liked both, and he’d only just worked out that’s because the man never once questioned his crush on Saki-senpai. He didn’t have to defend his feelings or try to ‘prove’ they were there. It was just that the teenager said he was, and so Suou-san took him at his word.
         “So you can’t exactly explain ‘why him’, huh…” Yosuke muses, almost to himself, but it seems the police officer takes that as a challenge.
         “Back then, for most of it, I never felt—everyone was putting these expectations on me. To act a certain way, to say certain things. Jun understood who I was, so I never felt like I failed him for being myself, because he knew. Maya-nee called us doppelgangers, and in that extent it was true. We were very similar, but it was more that we didn’t even always have to talk to know what we were thinking.” Suou-san pauses, then continues, “It was hard to realize how much I missed that until I had it again. Accepting my Shadow would have been a lot more difficult if he hadn’t been there.”
         “And he almost wasn’t,” Yosuke finishes, trying hard not to think about the possibility.
         Suou-san moves on, apparently feeling the same. “Of course, it’s not the only thing; he is handsome. And…” He’s blushing now, and Yosuke’s about to stop him before he continues and it’s not nearly as scandalous as he’d pictured. “It turns out Jun can wear makeup better than any of the women in our group. Lisa-chan thought that was really unfair. He’s elegant and charming and better than I’ll ever be socially. He loves helping people and he’s got a strong sense of justice. He has some topics he really likes—like flowers, or astrology—and he really gets passionate. It’s nice to listen to, especially since…”
         Especially since Suou-san doesn’t have much of that, Yosuke finishes, feeling guilty. At least he likes music. Though maybe that’s more an opportunity thing? Like, Suou-san didn’t look into it because he didn’t think there was a point, that he’d ever be able to have things for himself. He’d seemed to like the music when the teenager had let him borrow the headphones, because focusing on the music helped him sometimes. Maybe he should look into getting some music together for Suou-san as a thank-you gift?
         The police officer moves on, and this gets a little more interesting, because other than the blonde girl’s unrequited crush they hadn’t heard about anyone else. “Maya-nee. Though that one’s kind of understandable. All of us kind of revolved around her. A bit like all of you and Seta, I’d guess. She has to be the ditziest person I’ve ever met, but somehow things always work out all right when she’s around. She’s really decisive, even when she’s not sure about something, and not all of her plans or choices went the way any of us wanted them to, but they always worked out somehow, so…” He smiles self-deprecatingly, a look that Yosuke gets immediately and was never expecting to see on the older man’s face. Like, it’s one thing to hear about it, another to see it. “Maybe not all decisions are as high-stakes as they always seem to me. She…well, she was depressed. I don’t know if she’s gotten better since then, but either way she did a lot better dealing with it than I did, and I admire her for that. I wish I had half of her ability to cheer everyone up.”
         That sounds familiar. Not that—Saki-senpai was different, of course, but even when she complained a little, she always tried to be bright and cheerful, and she absolutely was able to cheer up everybody. She had her own problems, and maybe she did hate working at Junes, not that he blamed her for that (pretty much anyone would hate it), but even then she did her best.
         “The last one…is more of a crush of admiration than actually being interested in her. Her name’s Mayuzumi. I think Jun mentioned her before? She got a Persona years before any of us did, and she also has the distinction of being the most badass people I’ve ever met. She probably taught me more about being a delinquent than anyone else, which is probably not something I should be admitting, but…” Suou-san shrugs, smiling a little. “She was like me. Didn’t know what she wanted to do, but went into photography and pursued it as a career anyway. She also gave up her Persona to transfer it to Jun, because she’d gotten some closure and didn’t need it anymore.”
         The older Persona-User swallows, eyes far away, flicking the lighter quicker now. “On one hand, it worried me, because it was nice having Maya-nee and Mayuzumi-san around, as older Persona-Users who knew what they were doing. Kind of like me and Jun for all of you, although I don’t think we’re as good at this.”
         “Hey, would they be here giving me this advice right now?” Yosuke tries to joke, because he really is grateful, and Suou-san’s eyes refocus as he thinks that over.
         “Hmm.” Flick, flick. “…Well, I think they’d both try, but you’re right. I’m not sure either of them has the experience for it.” It’s hard to tell, but Yosuke thinks he might have helped cheer the older man up, if only a little. Score! “On the other, well. I didn’t have the right to insist she stay, and it was distracting having Jun back, after all this time.” He didn’t mention Lisa-san, but then, his Shadow made it pretty clear he’d found being pushy kind of a turn-off.
         “Distracting, huh?” Yosuke teases, and the slight blush returns, but the older man doesn’t scold him for being intrusive or anything, so he didn’t overstep this time. “So your type can be really different between guys and girls.”
         “Oh!” Suou-san exclaims and then doesn’t elaborate. At all. He might be looking a little guilty.
         “Are you okay?” Yosuke asks quickly, concerned. He’s not overdoing it, is he? The teen’s gonna feel awful if that’s the case!
         “I’m really bad at this,” the police officer groans, sounding a little frustrated. “There’s one thing you can look at to figure out if it’s a crush—and then you should probably figure out if it’s a crush of admiration or fleeting or anything else.”
         “That sounds useful—not that the rest of this hasn’t been enlightening.” Because if nothing else, talking about everything like this has made it seem so much more normal.
         “Yourself,” the older Persona-User responds, and then at Yosuke’s look of confusion, continues, “You know how you were acting around Konishi. If you act like that around anyone else, good chances are it’s a crush.”
         That sounds so common sense that Yosuke can’t believe it didn’t occur to him before—but then, Suou-san’s good at that kind of straightforward common sense, so maybe he should’ve expected that. “Thanks.” An alarm on his phone rings, and now he feels awful—sure, Dad’ll cut him some slack, visiting someone in the hospital and all, but Takahashi-san’s definitely going to chew him out. “Sorrygottarun! I’ve got a shift! Thanks for the advice and I hope you get better soon!” And then he’s flying down the hospital hallway hoping not to get in anyone’s way as his sneakers squeak on the floors. If he’s not mistaken, he hears something like ‘good luck’ float out behind him, but he doesn’t have time to double check that, even.