Anniversary Promises

[madimpossibledreamer]

My brain: Kiryu and Majima could make for a really fluffy couple.  I want to write that.
Also my brain: But, yeah, Majima's been ready to die up until Yakuza 4.
My heart: WHY DO YOU BRING THE FEELSTRAINS
Majima's Kansai-ben returns.  You could, if you didn't particularly care about spoilers or are caught up, read this as a companion piece to essence of unrequited love tonally (although the hc for that one is that they never have this conversation).  they're beautiful and sad and will stab you in the arm like Majima.

Main Points:
Yakuza
Summary: Kiryu's confession doesn't go particularly well.
Word Count: 2455
Rating: Teen (because a) Majima swears, b) hints at violence, c) it's a painful shipfic, d) (1) singular innuendo, e) all of the above)
spoilers for Kiwami 2 and vague spoilers up to 5
The epilogue exists because halfway through I remembered some of the stuff that happens in Kiwami 2 and went ...yeah, uhm, I mean, I guess you sorta tried, Majima, given your conflicting promises and all
Pairing: Kiryu/Majima, mentioned Kiryu/Sayama
any characters other than Kiryu or Majima are just mentioned and do not actually appear.
Warnings: Majima PoV.  Majima kind of is his own warning, really.

 

         It’s been a whole year, so Majima anticipates the furrowed, confused furrow of Kiryu’s brow as the former patriarch launches himself out of an alley, knife first.  It’s been a while since they’ve done this little dance.  His blood thrums, as he longs for the taste of blood the Dragon can give him with a fist to the face.
         Instead, he’s deflected—has Kiryu-chan been taking judo lessons?  The sly dragon!
         “I won’t fight you,” he states stoically.  Maybe Majima could take it if that was it, but he dares to have a look of—of concern in his slightly widened eyes.  Bastard’s pitying him?  He’s king ‘a the world!  If anythin’, it should be the other way ‘round.
         “Just a strong, silent punchin’ bag?  Works fer me!”  He might say that, but he feels a pang of disappointment.  He’s nothin’ ta Kiryu-chan, not even worth a fight.  He darts forward and slashes, and manages only to ruin Kiryu’s suit at the shoulder.  The Dragon’s too fast now.  Majima hisses in disappointment.
         “We don’t have a reason to fight, and we have a reason not to.  I don’t know what’s going on right now, Majima-niisan, but I won’t just serve as your weapon to hurt yourself.”  He calmly catches the Mad Dog’s flailing arm, and fixes him with a stare that critiques Majima’s technique.  Like he doesn’t know he’s being sloppy right now.  And then, when Majima attempts to twist around and flip him, he crowds Goro against the wall, effectively trapping him.  “I won’t do that to someone I love.”
         He says it so simply, like it’s that easy, and maybe on the outside it had been.  Majima flirts all the time, right?  But the older man can’t help but flinch away like he’d received one of those punches he’d been looking for.
         “I don’t wanna hurt ya.”  His voice sounds kinda shrill and hysterical even to his own ears.  The look in Kiryu’s eyes might be the kinda alarm everybody else in Kamurocho would actually be showing on their face, if ya squinted with only one good eye.  Not the response he’d been expecting, then.  He doesn’t have to voice the question, though, for Majima to interpret the silence anyway.  He waves off the supposed inconsistency airily—or at least as near an approximation as he can manage, right now.  “If I stab ya, it’ll heal.”
         With the angry way Kiryu furrows his brow, most would be intimidated, but it’s clear he’s just thinking.
         “Who hurt you?” he finally asks, folding his arms to try to conceal the desperate way he’s clenching his fists, and any other time it’d be nice an’ romantic.  Goromi would sure swoon over a fella willin’ ta fight her and fight for her, an’ even simple Goro feels the impulse, but answerin’ that question—nah, any way ya slice it, any roads from here are nothin’ but pain.  Kiryu-chan’s the overly sensitive type that would take any pain of the people he loved personally.  An’ anyone Majima loves suffers.  It ain’t somethin’ he’s willin’ ta risk.
         “Ya ain’t—ya don’t want no part of my shit, Kiryu-chan,” Majima stammers, feeling his heart sink at the stubborn look on the Dragon of Dojima’s face.  He knows that look.
         “That isn’t your choice to make, Majima-san.  …Majima.”  Any other day, he’d guess it physically hurt Kiryu to say his name without an honorific, but he’s guessing the man’s actually shy.
         “Doncha got yer lady policeman?  Yer not a cheater, are ya?”  He knows he sounds desperate, because he is.
         The Dragon’s scowl grows.  Maybe it’s a low blow, trying to get the big lug to examine his own feelings.  It’s clearly not his forte, and it’s obvious he’s struggling.  Though he’s apparently better at it than Majima thought, given that he’d figured out how he’d felt about his ‘rival’.  Not that Goro had been sure, but he’d had a feeling, maybe, possibly, if he wasn’t looking too hard for things that weren’t there.  Goromi was more sure, but she’d had a woman’s intuition.  “We’re not dating.”
         Part of Majima’s surprised.  But then, Kiryu-chan’s not the type to move that quick.  Maybe it’s just that he assumes he knows everything about the Dragon of Dojima, but his surveillance network’s been dismantled simply through lack of use.  “Ya sure?  She mighta been all denyin’ an’ shit, but way she looked at ya, she wanted ta hop on that Dragon tail.”
         Usually, being crass would be enough to deter the man.  His cheeks are turning red, trying to match his shirt, but even flustered he’s trying to pretend like he’s not.  All in character, but apparently he’s more stubborn than he is embarrassed.  If he was standing a little further away, he’d probably cross his arms, but he can’t do that, with them bracketing Majima’s shoulders.  “Maybe.  But she didn’t give my life meaning last year.”  It’s blunt and whacks over the back of Majima’s head like a hammer, making him feel worse.
         Sure, he’d had the crush and known it, but thought making an ass of himself was enough to keep Kiryu at arm’s length.  He’d underestimated the man.
         He opens his mouth to refute that, to tell Kiryu it’s a mistake, that now that he’s strong he don’t need a steppin’ stool like Majima anymore.  Somethin’ like that.  Instead, what comes out is a sob.  For an instant, they both stare at each other in shock, before Majima crumples, burying his face in the chest he’s fantasized about.  He’s less crying than shaking, which is good because it he’d hate to ruin a good shirt.  It takes a few seconds, but Kiryu’s arms come up, and they feel as good as he’d thought they would, all strong and protective.  Then again, he’d had a clue.  Fighting someone really gives you an idea of their strength, after all.
         He’s not sure how long he stays in that position.  It feels…safe.  Not something he’s used to feeling.  It’s nice, but it also feels worse than a bat to the head, because he doesn’t feel like he deserves it.
         Eventually, though, he manages to speak, and his voice even sounds pretty normal.  Comes as a bit of a surprise.  He doesn’t want to tell Kiryu, of all people, but he’s obviously stubborn enough he’s not gonna let this go without a little encouragement.  “I’m a dead man walkin’, Kiryu-chan.  Livin’ on borrowed time.  Guess it’s too late ta tell ya not ta get attached, now, but any day the debt comes due.”  The grip on his arms tightens, slightly uncomfortably, but Majima doesn’t care.  The pain’s grounding, because he doesn’t deserve perfection.  He’d been expecting to die so much sooner, but really, Saejima was the type to wait out his sentence, following the rules.  Weird, for a guy in their profession, but his kyoudai sure wasn’t the norm and Majima was glad of it.
         “You’re not sick?” he asks, sudden concern chilling the warmth, and  Goro shivers slightly, but waves off the question anyhow.
         “Nah, those’re easy.  Question ‘a money or contacts, I’m covered.”  It suddenly occurs to him that Nishiki wasn’t, and he silently high-fives his brain for not actually bringing the patriarch up, because as much as he wants to drive Kiryu away, whole point of the exercise is not to hurt his big, selfless heart.
         If the big hunk of a man keeps absent-mindedly massaging the back of Majima’s neck, though, he’s gonna relax way too much and pass the hell out.  “Is there anything I can do?”
         Majima swallows.  He longs to say yes, longs to give Kiryu promises he can’t keep, just like one way too long ago.  “Nah.  Betrayed kyoudai.”
         He feels rather than sees the ex-yakuza flinch, and realizes a second too late his mistake.  Congratulated himself too early.  He freezes still.  Feels wrong, for himself an’ for Kiryu-chan, it seems, because he feels big, gentle if strong, fingers lift his chin to meet a determined gaze.  “You didn’t do it on purpose.  You’re a man of your word, Majima.”
         That almost hurts worse.  Because, logically, he’s known that this entire time.  Emotionally, less so.  “Don’t matter.  A man’s gotta do the shit he said.”
         “‘Or he isn’t a man at all,’ niisan?”  It takes Majima a moment to place that Kiryu-chan’s quoting, given that his vocal inflection doesn’t change all that much.  “I promised Haruka I’d keep her safe.  I promised Nishiki we’d be together to the end.”
         Majima opens his mouth and immediately closes it.  The obvious thing to say is ‘it ain’t yer fault, Kiryu-chan’….and immediately he sees the Dragon’s point.  Likewise, he sees he’s messed up for an entirely different reason than he thought, accidentally bringing up Nishiki, because the stubborn man isn’t going to give it up, now.
         “Don’t wanna be just another love in yer life that dies.  Ya deserve better, Kiryu-chan.”  He’s aware his voice is soft, soft like that marshmallow he accused Kiryu-chan of being, but if anyone deserves that softness, it’s this man.
         “It’ll still happen.  If what you’re saying is true, you’re still going to die, and I’ll still—”  He doesn’t finish the sentence, deep voice thick with emotion.  He doesn’t usually show it, hell, half the time it doesn’t seem like he knows how he’s feeling, but it seems easy enough now.  Probably something to do with the depth of feeling.
         “Yeah.  Shoulda just steered clear ‘a ya, last year.  Then yer pretty little heart wouldn’t be achin’ like this, all fer little ol’ me—”  He’s interrupted before he can finish that ‘what if’, though.
         Kiryu’s voice is flat, like he doesn’t particularly care for this specific pity party.  “I’d be dead, Majima.  Haruka would be dead.  I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened to the Tojo Clan.”
         The Dragon of Dojima must have turned his thinking brain on today.  Or, rather, it’s far more likely that he’s thought about all of this, time and time again.  Too many times to count.
        He’s also, any angle the former patriarch looks at it, entirely correct.  If he’d stayed that fresh-outta-jail weakling, he woulda been dead, possibly even in some back alley to muggers or something.  Not the way a guy like him should go.  Which leaves only one conclusion.  “Destiny’s a steel-toed bitch.”  That earns a soft Dragon smile, slightly wistful—is he thinking about Goromi he’d definitely been good at playing along (wait he hadn’t just been playing, had he?).  (A voice that sounds a lot like a certain hostess whispers ‘toldja’, because she’s a smartass even to herself.)
         The Dragon stubbornly returns to a different line of thought.  With how persistent he can be, you’d think he was the dog in this whole situation.  Heh.  “You weren’t going to tell me.”  He sounds disappointed.
         Majima shrugs a little, aware it’ll be communicated more through touch than sight.  “No point.  Not like ya can swoop in an’ save me from the Reaper.  Hell, times are I’ll forget.”
         “I—I know I shouldn’t ask, but Majima…can you promise you’ll do your best to stay alive, at least until then?”  He disengages, and if the Mad Dog’s good eye ain’t playin’ tricks, reluctantly.  With the way he casually puts his hands in his pockets, it’s almost as if nothing had happened, which hurts a little.  But pain isn’t new.  His arms already feel colder, but that, too, is that little arm-pinch that says this is reality.  Though there’s significantly more liquid on that shirt than Majima had thought, which means his eye’s been leakin’ without his permission, an’ it should know just as well as Nishida what happens with insubordination.
         “I’ll try, long as ya promise me somethin’ in return, Kiryu-chan.”  He already feels the mad lyrical tone slipping into place, like he’s the one wearing the Hannya mask.  (Well.  He had.  To be fair, just like all the attention-getting stunts last year, he’d done just that.  But it feels different than all this, the little things that separate Majima Goro from the Mad Dog of Shimano.)
         Kiryu nods, all his attention and seriousness focused on Majima.  It’s cute.  He could say that, but there’s a different path now, the path of the least pain.  They’ll find it together, maybe, or they won’t an’ Kiryu-chan’s just gonna keep servin’ as life’s punching bag, but either way all they can do is what they can do.  No reason to wish for the impossible.
         “I know I was teasin’, earlier, but give the lady cop a chance?  I just wanna see ya happy, Kiryu-chan, an’ she’s yer type, feisty, strong, could lay ya out in a flat minute…”  He winks, and the Dragon smirks.
         “You can stop complimenting yourself any time now, Majima no Niisan.”
         Majima, because every part of him is a contradictory bastard, is slightly upset at the sudden distance of the honorific, would love to be called just Majima again or even Goro or Goromi, but he shoves that aside.  Later, he’ll break down again.  Later, this will hurt, but for now, it feels like the best solution for a terrible situation.
         His voice is light and airy and it ain’t even all an act.  “Ain’t gonna happen, Kiryu-chan.  So, we got a deal or what?”
         After a moment, Kiryu reaches out to shake his hand, Western-style, and Goro cackles in delight, doing so with enthusiasm.  It’s probably a little too strong, a little too forceful, but like Majima’s ever cared about any of that.  Other people just need a better pain tolerance.  Seriously.
         “Still fulla surprises, even after all this time.  Yer a goddamn miracle, Kiryu-chan.”  He waves a leather-clad hand at the man and walks off whistling.

(He’s not wrong.  He cries again over this later.  Don’t hurt as much as the disappointed glare when he winds up fightin’ the whole damn Sengoku Family himself an’ ends up in the Clinic again.  Or the pain he feels on Kiryu-chan’s behalf when the lady cop goes an’ chooses her own career, ‘cause, shit, he can’t even be mad at her, even if she’s breakin’ Kiryu-chan’s heart, plenty ‘a women can’t manage ta even get ta where she was before all this started, never mind foreign-born ladies.  Even when it cuts real deep.  Destiny’s definitely a bitch, though.)