Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 53

[madimpossibledreamer]

If there’s water right here, I might as well just keep using it.  And abusing it.  Look, the Tourist Bureau is going to be very happy that someone likes their water so much.  (Since he’s a Prince, his recommendation would probably bring a lot of tourists and pilgrims, too.) 

I don’t like that.  That was the sound of an evil, evil heron.  Eagle sand heron.  They’re around here somewhere.  Why are they here? 

What are you doing? [Farah] Swinging.  I don’t know.  I’m working it out as I go. [Prince] (The Prince and I sound about equally as annoyed.)  (Imitates the Tenth Doctor) I’m making it up as I go along, but I do it brilliantly.  (Prince falls to his death)  Or not.  *laughs*  I just died.  Ahahaha.  I’m going to guess that that was not correct. 

I…what.  What am I supposed to do?  Do I grab the tree?  Can I jump…? 

Prince, there is wood right above your head.  You could continue to hold on with your feet (and legs; they’re strong muscle-wise) and grab with your hands.  It would be fine.  But no. 

Anyway, you’re not enjoying me Tarzaning?  Is that what you’re saying, Farah? 

Can I not…?  I can’t actually see what’s over here because the camera won’t let me. 

Where am I supposed to be heading with this?  I mean, the obvious direction is this way, but I don’t know if that’s actually the case. 

This the furthest I can go?  I think so.  No, that doesn’t help either. 

Um.  I mean, I can try to go up and see if that helps.  If all else fails I’m right at one of the checkpoints, so I can start again.  I don’t know what I’m doing. 

You know, let’s climb all the way up… *snorts* I look like a total moron at the top of the rope swinging.  But.  Does this help?  Nope.  Nope, my arc is too short. 

I don’t know what I’m doing.  Uh. 

Is this where I’m trying to get in the first place?  Questions. 

Maybe I can grab onto the ledge there?  I just jump back.  I’m going to assume that means I can be there. 

Or not.  Maybe that was a fluke last time?  Or maybe I need to be further down on the rope.  I’m going to go with that’s a bad idea, considering he keeps going ‘no, nope, I’m going to grab this’. 

Umm.  Hmm.  I can always try going this direction.  I haven’t tried doing that yet. 

I am at a loss.  I, the mysterious voice in your head (no, not DIO.  Or Yoshikage Kira.) am lost.  I don’t know what we’re doing. 

Farah just watched me die and didn’t say anything.  Farah, you’re a treasure.  And, and.  A great friend.  Yeah, that’s it. 

Seriously.  What am I doing? 

Are you sure that I can’t—are you sure that I can’t cut myself down and thus die that way?  (Odd question.) 

C’mon, jump.  He’ll just sit there and turn himself in circles if I hit the jump button. 

Okay.  *sighs* Let’s try this again.  I think you’re just going to keep dying. 

I headcanon that the Prince does actually spend hours planning out his next jump.  That is actually legit what happens.  (He stretches through his hold occasionally just so his muscles don’t lock up for when he actually needs them.) 

I just ran into that—what did I even run into?  Weeeird. 

I don’t know what I’m doing, Princess.  Maybe I have to be midway down.  Let’s try that.  I think my arc is still not sufficient. 

That’s worth a try. 

Your eyes are glowing, Prince.  That’s terrifying.  It’s not even the white glow, it’s a yellowish sand glow.  I’m going to let the possessed version of you die. 

When you jump, push up.  Oh.  Okay then. 

That’s not how it happened. [Prince] No, it’s not.  For one thing, I’m terrified of the, y’know, possessed version of you. 

Be careful! [Farah] Yeah, yeah. 

This strategy works as long as I don’t hit ‘let go’ again. 

Really, Prince?  Really?  Why do you keep dropping when I hit up?  Prince, I don’t understand. 

I’m glad I looked that one up though, because I don’t think I would’ve guessed to use ‘up’. 

Wait.  I just fell onto the beam. 

Come on.  Hahaha.  Bird brain. 

Oh wow.  I managed to get all of those without being hit.  I am impressed.  Prince, I am impressed. 

And you hit the wall with your palms and grabbed the ladder.  Instead of falling to your death, like you always do when you hit the wall with your palms.  I hate it when you hit the wall with your palms.  Could you please not hit the wall with your palms ever again?  It would be greatly app—what are you doing?  It would be greatly appreciated.  Also, seriously.  What were you doing? 

Farah, you’re really quiet.  And by really quiet, I mean really quiet. 

What are you doing? [Farah] (well, you got some sort of comment from her…)  I don’t know.  I’m working it out as I go. [Prince] 

And apparently that works.  Okay, then. 

What, do I just wallrun from here?  Can I wallrun?  No, but I can jump to grab this, though. 

Farah, are you clapping for me?  Because if so…I will be so angry at you.  (I assume you’re doing it sarcastically, because…well, everything you do is sarcastic.  I can’t tell if she is, because I can’t hear anything.) 

Um.  Trust the wallrun?  Trust the wallrun. 

Oh, it’s birds behind me.  They’re not clapping.  I see.  Hi.  (Okay, couldn’t hear that either, but I guess you figured it out.) 

Why am I doing so well against the birds right now?  That’s not anything that I…I mean, I am out of practice entirely.  What is happening? 

Oh, look, it’s the one glowy symbol again. 

I imagine that I swing on these ropes. 

Argh.  Bet this is another thing where you press up again, huh?  You press up again as you jump. 

It is.  Seriously, that’s not something I would have ever considered.  Ever.