Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 40

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

I’m stuck again.  Help me.  I think this time I’m just really wanting to get stuff done. 

Go wherever, man.  Okay, we’ve been there.  I took the shortcut; I didn’t even run past the saws.  Go to the retrieve…I guess you do blind the camera.  Over here, to the rope—was I not supposed to grab the rope?  You are supposed to grab the rope, I was just slow about it.  What direction were you aiming in?  Then jump to the second one and—you can make that jump.  Okay. 

…That rope bounced as we got in game.  That’s weird. 

Let’s see if I can’t swing any further.  Nah, it looks like legs offscreen is the best we can get, so. 

That was actually jumping too early, I think.  Yep.  Okay, I jumped too early that last time. 

C’mon, it’s right next to you.  Uhhh.  It’s right next to you, how do you—? 

Ohh, you have to get back onto the rope.  You weren’t actually—okay then. 

Oh, and I might have a problem, because that rope might be too high to reach.  Hmm. 

Go away, stupid bats.  No one likes you anyway. 

You’re facing the wrong direction, Prince.  Go all the way down and start swinging. 

That’s as far as you go?  Guessing that’s as far as you go.  Yep. 

Argh, I jumped a little too early.  Screw your buckets.  Who needs buckets, am I right? 

Oh thanks.  (That is the sound of traps.) 

Where am I even going. 

Always trust the wallrun. 

I don’t even know why they have the stuff to go up.  Oh, you do in fact need it.  For once, they’re not being dumb. 

Is that a puppy?  I feel like I keep hearing a puppy.  (I sound disturbed.  But then, Sand Puppies would be pretty terrifying and sad.)  Why. 

I’m not going to do that because that was undoable but Prince why? 

Oh, I guess you have to run up the center of where it—okay. 

Oh, ew, there are spiderwebs so thick they’re like a black stain on the camera.  That’s disgusting, man. 

Yeah, it totally sounds like a puppy.  (I’m not hearing anything now so I cannot verify.) 

Oh hey!  Magical place!  It’s been forever since I’ve been here!  Into the deep down deep dark.  Deep down.  Prince, it’s been so long since we’ve had magical water with strange…you know, possessing properties. 

I…still hear a puppy.  Prince, do you hear a puppy?  (You could do good horror with puppies.  Like children.  They’re supposed to be innocent and therefore kinda creepy with the right effects.) 

I…guess that didn’t hurt me.  Okay. 

Is Farah secretly a puppy? 

Also, where am I going?  Oh, maybe I’m going into the light.  Y’know, they tell you not to do that, but. 

What do you mean I can’t climb to that?  Oh, what?  What do I do from here?  You do just jump to the—okay.  Wheeee. 

Lemme guess, I—I mean, I can try climbing up into the light.  Oh hey, look.  Light. 

I guess I can’t go back down there. 

Oh, hi.  I forgot how to, y’know.  And I also forgot you have to dagger. 

Oh, a blue guard.  I hate these guys. 

Oh wait, it’s a General.  Help. 

I got trapped.  I knew I had my health for way too long. 

There’s more sand.  Do I get more health?  Or am I just getting greedy at this point? 

Wait, what are you? 

I’m back to very low health again. 

I’m dead. 

He didn’t say his thing about ‘now I feel so much better’.  (After we had the magic possessy water.) 

Ow.  I can’t actually back up time enough.  I think I’m just dead. 

No, no, I didn’t— [Prince]  *skips it* I know, you didn’t die here. 

Oh great.  I have to deal with the… (General.) 

Ow.  I think they’re just going to murder me. 

I’m probably going to—I might get through this segment and stop. 

So this fight part. 

Is this water?  No. 

Being able to see where the General is might be useful.  Just pointing that out there. 

I might be slightly out of practice. 

This part might be a little hard. 

‘Kay, I have no more Sand. 

Oh boy.  There was another General.  Oh, dead I am. 

That’s not how it happened. [Prince] *just sighs*

A General.  Destroy.  Yet another General.  This is actually doable. 

I mean, he hurt his friends, but… (he also hurt me.  turn back time.) 

Welllll.  Great.  General. 

(turns back time)  Oh, I was actually getting a little away. 

That was not the one I meant to hit. 

Don’t try to jump up him.  You can’t. 

Goodbye, health; it was nice knowing you. 

I prefer these guys I can jump over. 

Great, there’s another General. 

Do these guys just keep coming?  Am I supposed to walk in here or something?  No.  I might’ve just doomed this run by doing that.  Oh, wait, I can just rewind to a point when I wasn’t actually in here maybe. 

Not—stop trying to jump over the blue guys.  That doesn’t do anything. 

Are you the last guy?  You are the last guy. 

Also I have no health.  Is there water anywhere here? 

I mean, there’s Sand.  And a save point, but. 

Hi, Farah.  Wait—the part with her falling didn’t happen.  (From the vision.)  Done.  We’ll start the story from here next time. [Prince] Also I may have screwed myself for later.  We’ll see. 

You know, I’m going to go just a little bit further to see if there isn’t any water anywhere.  I don’t think there’s anything I can do here.  Unfortunately. 

All that lovely water downstairs.  Oh hey, water.  Y’know what, I’m just going to sit here and drink all this water and then I’m going to go back out and heal—save again.  Actually, y’know what, I don’t have to do that because the water’s right here, so the next time I start I can just do that. 

Bye Prince.  You wish me to leave before finishing my story? [Prince]  Yeah, I only got 12% done.  Shocking.  It’s definitely glitchy but it’s definitely still a great game.  I love it. 

Can I seriously not…?  (Nope, absolutely not, said with all the sarcasm.)  *sigh* I don’t think I can.  I don’t think I can do screenshots.  (Oh, that’s what you were talking about.)  That’s kind of sad.  Oh well.  And now I go watch Jojo’s, so take care.  I’ll see you guys next time, when I’ll be 62% done with the game.