Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 39

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

Really?  No, get off, Prince.  They’re gonna be back.  You know what, I’m just going to just swing from the ladder.  It seems like a better idea.  I don’t know why, but it does.  I mean, they can’t knock you off. 

I’m also not hitting them very much. 

I can’t dagger backwards.  I guess ‘cause that would use my other hand? 

I’m going to use my other thumb because it is starting to hurt a little. 

Prince, why did you do that?  That was not the button I hit.  I hit ‘put away your sword’.  Sometimes… 

Would I need those for any reason?  I don’t think so?

It kinda looks like I have to get up there, but I don’t…think I do?

Let’s see what happens when I stand in front of the waterfall.  Do I get pushed back?  I don't.  It’s only going towards the waterfall, okay. 

I think I’m going the right way because that was a breakwall. 

Maybe this is actually the baths.  I mean, they are slightly more acceptable to regular people—that was blinding. 

Oh hey.  ‘Kay…run towards the edge and jump toward the rope.  No?  Am I not pressing it at the right point?  Nope, that I just ran off. 

There we go.  Ohh, I can decide where to swing.  Oh, that is so cool.  I find this way too amusing, but still.  Wheeeee! 

Jump to that, walk across that, jump to rope…I hate those things… 

I am sixty percent done. 

I’d be a bit groggy too. 

Okay, so I have to get over to that thing, which probably means…yep.  This is fun. 

Camera is like, “you put your head through the wall once.  We’re not going to let you do it again.” 

(in a weird voice) Hug the wall.  The wall is your friend. 

(normal voice) I don’t like the fact that I can still hear bats, though.  I hate those things.  I mean, they’re not the worst.  They’re kind of annoying.  Like those bats right there.  Get away from me.  Also, Camera, I can’t see.  That would be appreciated.  And there’s three bats, so they’re gone.  I feel like they’re just going to ambush me now and then.  (Like Kenpachi, or Majima Everywhere.) 

Okay, is there something I can swing from?  Oh, am I supposed to go over here?  I’m guessing I can’t swing from the—or was I supposed to get up?  I don’t even know anymore. 

Please walk on that beam.  Prince.  Prince. 

Where am I trying to get to is the question.  Shoot, that was not the button I wanted to press.  Where am I going? 

That’s cool, I can swing in a circle.  It’s kind of dumb, but…oh, I was supposed to swing to the next rope maybe.  I can try it.  Not that.  That would happen to be a wall. 

That as far down as I can go?  Think it is. 

I think all I’ll end up doing is just hitting the wall, but.  Yep.  There is actually not in fact a wall there.  That is invisible, but whatever.  It’s not behind me, because that is an actual visible wall. 

So it’s one of these two ways, and if I end up dying I’m still in the same area so you know, whatever.  That’s just how I—hang on, what. 

Oh, maybe I’m supposed to jump…no.  No.  I can’t go any of the ways you want me to, game.  Game, what are you wanting from me?  Watchu want from me?  Game, I can’t—I can’t… 

I’ve been through the waterfall.  That part was easy.  Now…  What.  Okay, so you get to the middle.  That part is easy.  Ohh, you’re supposed to actually jump in the direction that—okay.  Well.  That’s a thing ain’t it.  ‘Kay. 

I’m over here.  Wheee.  Build up some momentum.  *starts singing the circus flying trapeze song instrumental, cutting off suddenly* 

Wait, there’s…an actual opening right next to me?  Maybe I should go to that.  *music again*  Aaaah.  ‘kay. 

What happens if I wallrun over here?  They can’t reach me. 

They really are trying to keep you with a lot of sand. 

…Really?  I accidentally let go. 

Thank you for not actually letting go this time, Prince. 

Why am I standing on top of what appears to be a Japanese bath?  And I can hear something behind—under—hi.  I hate you guys. 

Oh, I found the awful looking thing.  Lovely.  I do see why they gave me more sand.  How am I supposed to do this? 

Well, I guess that works.  That was not at all as intended, but… (I think I just ate the damage rather than figuring out the trap.) 

Oh hey look, box.  Can you—Prince.  Can you push the box?  Prince. 

I hate you guys.  Little stupid rodents.  Die rodents, die.  (Flying rodents, even.  Except that’s not true; it’s a misconception, though they are mammals.  It’s just less fun to say mammals.) 

I just fell through the blades and got chopped a little but it was fine because we were next to water, so.  I totally got water. 

Where is box supposed to go?  Foxy boxes.  (This one I’ll give you—VtM Bloodlines.  At least, on my end.  It might be from other stuff too.  I still don’t get what that was supposed to be but it amuses me anyway.) 

Fortunately, if I put it next to the wall it’s not a problem.  It’ll be fine. 

Apparently I was supposed to use a bit more of my sand there because that was just one. 

I’m up here.  Does that help me in any way? 

Apparently I can climb…oh, I can climb all around up here.  I mean, there’s a room behind me.  I don’t know if I can actually reach this but it’s worth a shot. 

Prince, really?  *laughs*  I have to be all the way down to have more swing, don’t I?  That’s going to be my guess. 

…I am incorrect.  I don’t know where I’m supposed to be taking myself.  Where is this even attached to?