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nightmare of life
May. 22nd, 2023 10:32 pmSo today has also been a day.
I'm still sick. Still have a slightly elevated temp but no low-grade fever yet.
PvP in Onmyoji was being. A thing. There are two different ones right now (the usual and Glory Chasers, I think?) My strat for Glory Chasers was working just fine yesterday and today I barely got one win--and that was from someone who saw my lineup and peaced out. I need over 10 more wins in...2, 3 days, to get the frame. I really want it, because frame-collecting, but on the other hand maybe it's just better for my peace of mind, blood pressure, & overall health if I just stop trying this time.
And then I had two conversations today with people I thought would get this about how a well-meaning directive to mandate pronoun sharing is, uh, a bad idea. (Just replace mandated with optional! It's not hard!) For those of you in the back, I'll summarize the Ask a Manager page for you: Mandated risks outing people before they're ready, sometimes while they're questioning/before they've even figured it out, doesn't get that some people like to keep personal and public lives separate, can be highly traumatizing to trans people who are like "I don't pass?", etc. I don't know if it's something that primarily cis-ally circles just don't get whereas those who interact more with trans spaces do or if being sick is just killing my ability to articulate properly, but either way I'm ready to cry and scream at the heavens because this frustration is driving me to tears and I haven't even had a conversation with the authors of said directive. Wish me luck. (Also highly concerned because am now worried, based on two separate I-thought-were-rational datapoints, defensive "but ally" is going to drown out "but ally can learn to implement better".)
I'm not even going in this week, because *points to still sick*, so I won't be able to address it--the one thing both of them said is "this is a conversation to have in person" and my brain is whispering "What, so they can go 'it's not a big deal' and get highly defensive in my face?".
It will *probably* go fine. I was able to get through to one of them after a bit. But it's exhausting and stressful just to even contemplate, but...I do feel like I should push back, because others might not feel comfortable doing so. (Not, uh, that I do. But it turns out maybe I'm less risk-averse than I thought.)
...Hopefully it was just a misreading of the announcement and it turns out it wasn't actually mandatory. Best-case scenario.
I'm still sick. Still have a slightly elevated temp but no low-grade fever yet.
PvP in Onmyoji was being. A thing. There are two different ones right now (the usual and Glory Chasers, I think?) My strat for Glory Chasers was working just fine yesterday and today I barely got one win--and that was from someone who saw my lineup and peaced out. I need over 10 more wins in...2, 3 days, to get the frame. I really want it, because frame-collecting, but on the other hand maybe it's just better for my peace of mind, blood pressure, & overall health if I just stop trying this time.
And then I had two conversations today with people I thought would get this about how a well-meaning directive to mandate pronoun sharing is, uh, a bad idea. (Just replace mandated with optional! It's not hard!) For those of you in the back, I'll summarize the Ask a Manager page for you: Mandated risks outing people before they're ready, sometimes while they're questioning/before they've even figured it out, doesn't get that some people like to keep personal and public lives separate, can be highly traumatizing to trans people who are like "I don't pass?", etc. I don't know if it's something that primarily cis-ally circles just don't get whereas those who interact more with trans spaces do or if being sick is just killing my ability to articulate properly, but either way I'm ready to cry and scream at the heavens because this frustration is driving me to tears and I haven't even had a conversation with the authors of said directive. Wish me luck. (Also highly concerned because am now worried, based on two separate I-thought-were-rational datapoints, defensive "but ally" is going to drown out "but ally can learn to implement better".)
I'm not even going in this week, because *points to still sick*, so I won't be able to address it--the one thing both of them said is "this is a conversation to have in person" and my brain is whispering "What, so they can go 'it's not a big deal' and get highly defensive in my face?".
It will *probably* go fine. I was able to get through to one of them after a bit. But it's exhausting and stressful just to even contemplate, but...I do feel like I should push back, because others might not feel comfortable doing so. (Not, uh, that I do. But it turns out maybe I'm less risk-averse than I thought.)
...Hopefully it was just a misreading of the announcement and it turns out it wasn't actually mandatory. Best-case scenario.
