LOTRO Dash Commentary

Singing the praises of one specific GM who shut this down today, Proscuitto, but if asked whether I recommend Lord of the Rings Online, I'd give a very tentative yes. I'm going to get a little rambly about this because I've generally been holding all this in, so this isn't perfectly written or anything.  ( Discussion of some recent events; read at your own discretion )

Sea of the Unconscious Part 12

Main Points:
Persona 4 Sea of the Unconscious
Summary: Yosuke was not part of the original investigation team. In fact, he wasn't even part of their world. He was a huge fanboy. And then he fell into Inaba, and his life changed forever...
Really old, so not perfectly written, and it was during my FONTS EXIST phase. Slightly inspired by Chisotahn's Ten Steps fic. The entire concept is a little chuuni/Gary Stu. I don't think it would be bad with some tweaking, but that's tweaking i don't really want to do, so we've got this instead.
while yes, I could split this up, I don't see the point.  this is all associated with the same thing.  the thing that probably got me to lose any hope of finishing this thing well before I had qualms about its writing quality.  i got a little too ambitious, and this unfinished thing was the result.  the plan was to split up the entire party to go into their own game and play multiple levels.  I didn't even get written one level per character and it's already this long.
I was planning on getting a little more into Takuma and making him less unlikeable in this one (I think).  Like other Magicians he's supposed to be a little annoying, but the player's actually supposed to see that.  And maybe end up liking him anyway, but him being obnoxious is actually supposed to be seen as a fault, rather than just a "oh that Takuma" sort of thing.
There's also the issue that this "chapter" really doesn't advance the fic along, either.  It's a fun concept but, uh.  yeah.  It's not actually the end of this floor, but the actual plot-relevant stuff I separated out to the next part.
if you want a taste, but don't want to read the whole thing, just read the beginning as it has some fun portal-esque dialogue.
(...unrelated note but I don't remember using -kun for naoto in this fic. well done past!me)
(though also the past tense is a little weird)
Word Count: 5321
Rating: teen

 

( Part 12 )