My Own Fate

[madimpossibledreamer]

I actually love Philemon but I don’t think Tatsuya has or ever will forgive the bet.

Main Points:
Persona 2/Persona 4 crossover (Broken Hero)
Chapter Summary: The first interrogation is the hardest, but it's necessary.
Word Count: 1912
Rating: Teen
Pairing: background Katsuya/Maya and hinted Minato/Akihiko

 

         Tatsuya falls asleep in so many locations it’s honestly not a surprise to open his eyes and be unaware of where he even is, at the moment. It’s only when he glances over to see his brother, arms crossed, what looks like tears in his eyes behind the tinted glasses and a world-ending scowl on his lips that Tatsuya pieces it together. Katsuya is disappointed in him, often and thoroughly, but he’s never so angry as when a mission ends up with Tatsuya in the hospital. (And worried, his brain pieces together, though that doesn’t excuse the harsh words or way that despite their age, Katsuya continues to treat his brother like a child.) “Why?” It comes out more plaintive than he’d like, Tatsuya’s sure. Katsu-chan’s always trying to be the stronger, the one in control, an approach that has not worked since they were children. So he really had scared his brother.
         Under normal circumstances, he would snap. Things like “You think I wanted this?”, or maybe he’d just refuse the interrogation altogether. Perhaps their last conversation had been a breakthrough, or perhaps he’s just tired of this, tired of fighting, tired of doing this all on his own, tired of being judged for things he cannot help. “Well, I didn’t want the world to end—”
         And, again, one of the annoyances of talking with his brother, because Katsuya interrupts, stare ice cold like he’s facing a suspect. The only giveaway is the slight trembling in his hands. “The real reason.”
         Tatsuya weighs that carefully, then decides, screw it. If Katsuya wants honest answers, then honest answers he will get, and to hell with if he likes them. “...You’d have asked a hundred questions. Was I sure, was there another way, had I thought it through. And the only thing I could tell you is that it was better than the alternatives we could find at the time.” He’d been stumbling through the dark; even Igor (and Philemon, however much he loathed asking for advice from him) had no answers to give because all of this was entirely new.
         The trembling increases. Katsuya looks as upset as he’d been after the shrine (but then, as much as Tatsuya’s mind likes to gloss over the fact, he’d found his brother stabbed and a little burned, of course he’d be hurt, emotionally if not physically). “I’m your big brother. I’m supposed to protect you.” This is...rare, that he would actually voice this. It’s easy for them both to forget, in the heat of their arguments.
         Tatsuya smirks. “You’re the most stubborn person I know, Katsu-chan. After all the trouble I’ve been for you, anyone else would have given up by now.”
         It...has been a long time since he’s seen his brother smile. “Give up on you? Never.”
         It’d be nice to leave it like that, but of course Katsuya has to ruin the moment. “Now that I know you have an incredibly powerful Persona with more than just the ability to stop time, I have to ask: why do you keep ending up in the hospital?”
         Tatsuya groans and struggles to sit up, if this is going to be a longer visit. At least his brother rushes to his aid. “Couple things. I wasn’t sure if I was actually maintaining all this myself, so I didn’t know if using Othkkartho too much would shatter this reality and bring us right back where we started. Second, I’m not in full control when it comes to him. I left it out of my report for obvious reasons, but that’s part of the reason Arisato-kun ended up in a coma, though it probably would have happened with or without me. Kid was going to use his own life force to seal Nyx and Erebus away. I only managed to beat him to the punch using Nova Kaiser. Much as I hate it,” he swallows. Because he will never not feel guilty about that, even though logically most of it isn’t his fault, and the fact that his most regular partner in fighting Shadows is Sanada-kun, and he cannot get Sanada-kun’s devastated expression out of his head—it’ll be harder to get past than most of the rest, that’s for sure. “...it might have actually been better this way. If we can figure out how to get the remnants of Nyx out of him, I can probably bring him back. Though that time it was less ‘collateral damage’ and more ‘required to seal her away’.”
         For once in his life, Katsuya has no trace of judgment in his expression, merely nodding, thoughtful and troubled. It’s nice. Tatsuya could get used to this. He’s actually encouraged to continue.
         “And, well, it’s dangerous to myself as well, to use him too recklessly. Not deadly, I think, not anymore, but then, Philemon warned me that my body would adapt to the Persona’s use.” He wants to come out and say it, that he’s not sure if he’s less human and more like Philemon and Nyarlathotep, these days, but the words stick. They’re probably too soon for Katsuya, and possibly too soon for even himself.
         His brother closes his eyes, breath unsteady. “And how did you come about this power?”
         Tatsuya smiles self-deprecatingly. “A really reckless plan. Nanjo and his friends spread a couple rumors. Let people know about the New World Order trying to take over the world. Which was dangerous, because it probably made them even stronger, but necessary. And then, the story of a hero, one person blessed with the power to stop them. All hinging on the chance that, if rumors stopped holding their power, that I’d retain it.” He breathes in. “It was nerve-wracking, waiting to see if it’d work, and then once I actually felt it I nearly died of hypothermia before one of their friends, Toudou-san I think, found me. Philemon thought it’d fail. Othkkartho is the son of Nodens, who you might know as an avatar of Philemon, so he definitely had enough power to stabilize the world or freeze Okamura-san out of time. It’d been in getting there, and then actually being able to use him as a Persona, that were the parts we were unsure about—and no, we hadn’t chosen him deliberately.”
         “And why you?” Katsu-chan asks abruptly. At least he hadn’t interrupted this time.
         “Ironically, I think that might have been the New World Order themselves. Nyarlathotep had told them about me, and Sudou knew that I remembered more than one world. I could stand against the eldritch monsters creeping in through the cracks. I already had weird powers; what’s another?” It had been strangely gratifying when Kandori had known about him.
         “Is there anything else I should know?” Plenty, but...hmm, what’s the most currently relevant?
         “Given that Nyx was going on about restarting the world on behalf of humans, I wouldn’t be surprised if while Nyarlathotep lost the bet he isn’t planning more, just less openly.” He’d put something about that in his report at the time, but given how there’d been no follow-up he figured Katsuya hadn’t put enough weight on his words, and there had been little he could say to convince his brother it was more than just a hunch, though the avatar of destruction had kept himself far enough removed from the action to be too sure about it.
         Katsuya’s email alert sounds. He doesn’t want to look away, but he forces himself to do so, hand still trembling a little. “It’s Maya, at the airport. I’ll need to go pick her up.” He’s talking more to himself than Tatsuya.
         Usually, his brother forgetting about his existence is something he strives for, but in this instance… “Well, it’s not like I’m going anywhere soon.”
         Katsu-chan glances back up from his phone and fixes him with a stare. “You had better not.” And then he sighs, releasing some of the pent-up tension. “Don’t think you’re shouldering this burden entirely by yourself anymore. I’m helping whether you like it or not.”
         “That...actually sounds good. Thank you.” Though Katsu-chan better not try to fix this by baking. His brother is reluctant, but does eventually leave.