make no excuses

[madimpossibledreamer]

Reading about shady app developers and generative AI refusing to stop being shady and just keep stealing stuff for training makes me feel like a contrary bastard. Constantine is also a contrary bastard.
...and then it occurred to me that while most Xanders see ‘sleeping with the guy with a hero worship thing is probably a terrible idea’…this is the Xander with Constantine DNA. And actually thinking about it, there's some Gaz parallels here.  (The one Green Arrow one was also a disaster but no one actually acted on anything, just flirted, until that faded a bit.) Andrew didn’t become part of the Trio, but I don’t think this relationship started until season 7.
andrew honestly might start calling himself an ‘emotional support warlock’.

Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Constantine|Hellblazer
Summary: Everyone else has gotten used to the mess that is Xander Harris and are perfectly content to let him stew in his ways.  Andrew refuses.
Word Count: 715
Rating: Teen, with the warnings. because it wouldn't be constantine or hellblazer without the warnings
Warnings: general Constantine warnings, including but not limited to drug references, excessive alcohol consumption, Xander's self-hatred, self-destructive behavior and semi-unhealthy attitudes toward sex, also implied sex

 

         Andrew’s heard all the lectures and seen all the posters on the walls about drug use. It probably doesn’t help that the town’s cover story for, like, anything magic or supernatural ever is PCP, so of course every teacher’s gonna think all the students are doing all the drugs.
         He’d never stopped to consider that maybe, after all, he was the drug, but he’s thinking about it now, can’t help it, watching Xander snore obnoxiously on his side. That’s actually a good thing, despite the complaints everyone always has about snoring, because it means he’s breathing normally. And he’s on his side, so he won’t suffocate if he throws up and Andrew somehow doesn’t notice.
         He hadn’t paid attention to all the stuff about what to do about people being drunk, mostly because he tried his brother’s beer once and it was terrible and other than that he didn’t really have any friends, so there wasn’t a huge likelihood of out of control parties. Specifics didn’t seem necessary, really. They kind of do now. And now that he’s graduated, it’d be kind of weird to go back to try to look.
         He runs his fingers through that blond hair, and Xander leans in, sighing, which is sweet, but. Damn it, even if this is some kind of ‘well, the world’s ending, might as well get laid’ coupled with something about the Slayer ex that Andrew really doesn’t wanna look at further, there’s a lot going on with Xander that he doesn’t really like.
         What got him here is when they’d finished, and he’d asked Xander ‘was that good for you’ because even though Xander’s not a ‘pretty girl’ that’s just what you do, right? And then Xander had squinted at him, muttered something British-like about ‘what’s that, then?’ and promptly fallen asleep, leading to epic panic before Andrew had confirmed that the guy was actually sleeping and hadn’t actually, you know, passed out dead.
         The thing is, Andrew’s just a socially awkward nerd. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He’s absolutely over the moon that his idol is taking this a step further than acknowledging his existence, and he’s more than grateful to the man for taking the time to make sure he didn’t go down the path of the dark side (“there’s only room for one warlock in this town,” he’d explained while holding hellfire which was one of the coolest things Andrew’s ever seen), though he’d hand out a tip or two as long as Andrew didn’t push it, and he was totally cool when Andrew announced he was gay, but in all the hero worship Andrew somehow lost track of the fact that for all his exploits Xander is just a guy. A guy with issues, and okay, Andrew does too, including the one about feeling inadequate, but with Xander it’s a lot more hollow, a lot sharper, and it sucks.
         And yeah, Andrew’s a bit of a coward, he’s known this since he was seven, but...he’s wanted to do something, to be helpful in all this. He’s not a major player, which is something he’s also known since he was a kid, though the exact memory there is more hazy, but. If he can at least be the sidekick and do something useful, that’s enough. The First is so big, and the Slayer and the Warlock and the Witch and the Slayerlings are all cool, but even though he’s scared, there’s no point in running away. If they lose this war, everything’s gone. No Star Wars, no manga, no superheroes, no baking, no anything.
         So he’s gotta have a plan. Baking and cooking, everybody loves that, and it’s always good for morale. Research. Convincing Xander that he actually does deserve things, although that might be a bit more of a long term plan, and he might have to be sneaky about it, because he has the feeling if he’s too up front about it Xander might get upset. Maybe if he just bullies everyone into it. They all seem to respond well to orders. Maybe he could ask Buffy for tips, even if she scares him a little. He’s not going to get anywhere if he lets that stop him, though.
         At least he has all night to plan.