Mutual Embarrassment
Apr. 1st, 2024 05:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madimpossibledreamerMain Points:
Buffy/Devil May Cry/Resident Evil/Background NCIS Crossover (Hold My Heart)
Chapter Summary: Leon has a question for Xander, but the answer isn't exactly what he expected.
Word Count: 1044
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Leon/Xander
Xander doesn’t answer for a good minute, long enough that Leon’s half sure he’s asleep.
“It was more of a matter of when I knew you liked me, and then that made me think about it.”
That’s oddly vague, but Leon’s half-asleep brain is too tired to put it together. “All right. Talk about that, then.”
The hesitation doesn’t bode well for his pride, but he’s too tired to think about it. Xander props himself up on his elbows, so Leon can see his face, maybe?
“You remember the one time we went to that bar you knew?”
Leon frowns, thinking. He...actually doesn’t, now that he’s paying attention, though now that he is, he has a bad feeling.
“I was really quiet, and you knew me well enough by then to know that was a bad sign. You instantly offered for us to go somewhere else, and I almost took it, but I.” He makes a face. “My pride got in the way. I didn’t want to admit I wasn’t fine. I mean, I’d even worked in one at one point, and it’s been years since I’ve seen either one of the parental figures I grew up with. You’d think I’d be over it by now.”
Leon opens his mouth to argue that, according to his therapist, that’s definitely not how it works, but Xander leans in to kiss his cheek, strategically derailing any thought process Kennedy had started to form.
“So we stayed, and you probably drank a little more and a little faster because you were worrying. Meanwhile, I’d barely had anything, and if anything I’d gotten a little quieter and even your attempts at telling stories were flopping. You had to have practiced them to try to edit out stuff about zombies and whatever, so you’d put a ton of effort into this and trying to impress me, and I could tell, but I really wasn’t dealing so I ordered food, because food always makes things better. You were...definitely pretty out of it, at that point, but if anything that made you more openly honest about having noticed stuff with those officer’s eyes. You asked me ‘what’s wrong?’ and I was like, ugh, I ruin everything I touch, but if I don’t come clean here you’re just going to keep getting sadder and sadder, so I said ‘You came here to have a good time, and I don’t want to ruin it,’ and…”
He’s blushing, but he’s grinning. “You leaned in, waggled your eyebrows a bit, and asked, ‘Oh, Xander, does that mean you wanted to show me a good time?’”
Oh. Oh no. Leon groans. He doesn’t want to believe it’s true, but the thing is, that’s absolutely the kind of thing he’d do, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. “I am so sorry.”
The one blue eye is fond, though. “You were goofy about it, not leery, though. I could’ve just written it off as you joking around, ‘cause the thing is, you were, but. You were also completely and utterly genuine about it. I would’ve freaked more if you were gross about it, but you with less fettered instincts—at least then—just went ‘person I think is attractive, time to flirt’. You didn’t expect anything from it. You didn’t even necessarily want anything from it, even. You just saw me being unhappy and wanted to help make me happy, even if it was just by making a fool of yourself.”
The agent kind of wants the floor to eat him. Except he doesn’t, because that would mean Xander would have to rescue him, and he’s already embarrassed enough. “I, um. What did you say?”
“‘Ask me again when you’re sober’, or something along those lines.” His boyfriend blushes harder when he raises an eyebrow. “You spent the next ten minutes pouting like a kicked puppy. I spent that time realizing I found you attractive, and the pouting did not help my thought process buzzed. Your pout is lethal. I swear you need a license for that thing.”
“Maybe I should try it, the next time someone decides to perfect a Tyrant,” Leon jokes weakly, because he feels like he should put in the effort, but it actually feels a little worse, after. “I don’t remember any of that.” It sounds completely believable, but he just doesn’t.
“I wondered.” Xander shrugs. “You asked me a couple days later if I hadn’t liked it, so that feeling stuck with you, but you did take your time asking me out. I figured it might just be nerves, or maybe second thoughts, but.” He swallows and looks away. “My brain is mean to me, sometimes, and tried to insist you’d thought better of it, but I knew somehow that wasn’t the case, if only—you don’t seem like that kind of guy.” He drapes himself back over Leon. Some kind of declaration, maybe. “Fair’s fair. You didn’t actually realize then, did you?”
Leon shakes his head. “Couple of days before we met on the mission. I’d spent that whole time planning how I was going to ask you out.” He groans again. “Who knew I already did.”
From the sound of Xander’s voice pretty close, he’s sympathetic and a little cozy again. “Hey, Agent, if it helps I’m the dork that kept planning on telling you about the whole half-devil thing and the fact that yeah I found you attractive too and kept chickening out. So we’re both doofuses.”
Oddly enough...yeah. It does actually help. But then, his sweetheart’s pretty good at reassurances, in general. “The romantic in me is really upset it wasn’t more...I don’t know, storybook? The practical part of me says not to complain, because I got something pretty good out of the deal and I’m not unhappy at all with that, and who knows how it would’ve turned out otherwise.”
“I’m with you all the way, Leon,” his sweetheart mumbles into his collarbone, and it’s not too long until he’s out. Leon’s not far behind.
Buffy/Devil May Cry/Resident Evil/Background NCIS Crossover (Hold My Heart)
Chapter Summary: Leon has a question for Xander, but the answer isn't exactly what he expected.
Word Count: 1044
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Leon/Xander
Leon’s feeling content, lying on Xander’s fold-out couch with his boyfriend’s head on his chest. They’re both drowsing off. Usually, Leon would just leave it, but this time he yawns and asks aloud, “When did you know you liked me?”
Xander doesn’t answer for a good minute, long enough that Leon’s half sure he’s asleep.
“It was more of a matter of when I knew you liked me, and then that made me think about it.”
That’s oddly vague, but Leon’s half-asleep brain is too tired to put it together. “All right. Talk about that, then.”
The hesitation doesn’t bode well for his pride, but he’s too tired to think about it. Xander props himself up on his elbows, so Leon can see his face, maybe?
“You remember the one time we went to that bar you knew?”
Leon frowns, thinking. He...actually doesn’t, now that he’s paying attention, though now that he is, he has a bad feeling.
“I was really quiet, and you knew me well enough by then to know that was a bad sign. You instantly offered for us to go somewhere else, and I almost took it, but I.” He makes a face. “My pride got in the way. I didn’t want to admit I wasn’t fine. I mean, I’d even worked in one at one point, and it’s been years since I’ve seen either one of the parental figures I grew up with. You’d think I’d be over it by now.”
Leon opens his mouth to argue that, according to his therapist, that’s definitely not how it works, but Xander leans in to kiss his cheek, strategically derailing any thought process Kennedy had started to form.
“So we stayed, and you probably drank a little more and a little faster because you were worrying. Meanwhile, I’d barely had anything, and if anything I’d gotten a little quieter and even your attempts at telling stories were flopping. You had to have practiced them to try to edit out stuff about zombies and whatever, so you’d put a ton of effort into this and trying to impress me, and I could tell, but I really wasn’t dealing so I ordered food, because food always makes things better. You were...definitely pretty out of it, at that point, but if anything that made you more openly honest about having noticed stuff with those officer’s eyes. You asked me ‘what’s wrong?’ and I was like, ugh, I ruin everything I touch, but if I don’t come clean here you’re just going to keep getting sadder and sadder, so I said ‘You came here to have a good time, and I don’t want to ruin it,’ and…”
He’s blushing, but he’s grinning. “You leaned in, waggled your eyebrows a bit, and asked, ‘Oh, Xander, does that mean you wanted to show me a good time?’”
Oh. Oh no. Leon groans. He doesn’t want to believe it’s true, but the thing is, that’s absolutely the kind of thing he’d do, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. “I am so sorry.”
The one blue eye is fond, though. “You were goofy about it, not leery, though. I could’ve just written it off as you joking around, ‘cause the thing is, you were, but. You were also completely and utterly genuine about it. I would’ve freaked more if you were gross about it, but you with less fettered instincts—at least then—just went ‘person I think is attractive, time to flirt’. You didn’t expect anything from it. You didn’t even necessarily want anything from it, even. You just saw me being unhappy and wanted to help make me happy, even if it was just by making a fool of yourself.”
The agent kind of wants the floor to eat him. Except he doesn’t, because that would mean Xander would have to rescue him, and he’s already embarrassed enough. “I, um. What did you say?”
“‘Ask me again when you’re sober’, or something along those lines.” His boyfriend blushes harder when he raises an eyebrow. “You spent the next ten minutes pouting like a kicked puppy. I spent that time realizing I found you attractive, and the pouting did not help my thought process buzzed. Your pout is lethal. I swear you need a license for that thing.”
“Maybe I should try it, the next time someone decides to perfect a Tyrant,” Leon jokes weakly, because he feels like he should put in the effort, but it actually feels a little worse, after. “I don’t remember any of that.” It sounds completely believable, but he just doesn’t.
“I wondered.” Xander shrugs. “You asked me a couple days later if I hadn’t liked it, so that feeling stuck with you, but you did take your time asking me out. I figured it might just be nerves, or maybe second thoughts, but.” He swallows and looks away. “My brain is mean to me, sometimes, and tried to insist you’d thought better of it, but I knew somehow that wasn’t the case, if only—you don’t seem like that kind of guy.” He drapes himself back over Leon. Some kind of declaration, maybe. “Fair’s fair. You didn’t actually realize then, did you?”
Leon shakes his head. “Couple of days before we met on the mission. I’d spent that whole time planning how I was going to ask you out.” He groans again. “Who knew I already did.”
From the sound of Xander’s voice pretty close, he’s sympathetic and a little cozy again. “Hey, Agent, if it helps I’m the dork that kept planning on telling you about the whole half-devil thing and the fact that yeah I found you attractive too and kept chickening out. So we’re both doofuses.”
Oddly enough...yeah. It does actually help. But then, his sweetheart’s pretty good at reassurances, in general. “The romantic in me is really upset it wasn’t more...I don’t know, storybook? The practical part of me says not to complain, because I got something pretty good out of the deal and I’m not unhappy at all with that, and who knows how it would’ve turned out otherwise.”
“I’m with you all the way, Leon,” his sweetheart mumbles into his collarbone, and it’s not too long until he’s out. Leon’s not far behind.