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madimpossibledreamerMain Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: The fight with this Lord of Death doesn't go the way they expect.
Word Count: 1303
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS
Warning: Jojo's/Buffy violence.
To her surprise, though, he doesn’t follow that up with another attack or anything. He buries the spear in the ground once more and actually sits on the ground cross-legged, like a few of the pictures on the walls.
The Captain isn’t willing to just take that at face value, though, aiming another swing directly at his head, and Robin shoots another arrow at his torso, having restrung his bow the second he’d gotten her back to her feet. The Lord of Death catches both of them, one in either hand, without looking at them. The sword he drags out of Captain von Stroheim’s hand—carefully, so it won’t break, and then just…hands it back, hilt first, like she’s not going to just try to stab him with it again. He twirls the arrow in his fingers, and it takes Darling a moment to realize he’s not just showing off, because that’s a bullet buried in the wood of the arrow, as the rest splinters around it to make way. He then buries that in the floor, too, just because he can, and also, she suspects, to make a point.
He could break them. All of them, probably at once, without even sweating, if he’s even capable of such things, and he’s just…choosing not to, for some reason.
“It’s been so long since such a good fight. Then again, maybe I just need to get topside more often.” He sounds satisfied. Despite the fact that they’re still standing.
“What are you playing at?” the Captain hisses, because she’s the only one with the guts to just say that to a Lord of Death.
Forget crocodiles, the deity’s smile is that of a shark. “You know the problem with the useless cowards I work with?”
It’s clear at this point he’s actually looking for them to humor him with his questions at this point. If she’s just thinking about fairness, that’s the kind of expectation that only makes sense. The thing is, all of this is putting her more on edge than when she was bleeding out and dying not a few minutes ago. On the other hand, if they don’t play along, maybe he’ll lose his temper and just kill them anyway.
“They take things deathly seriously,” Mr. Brown suggests, which brings about another guffaw.
“Good one, and it’s related. They’ve got no imagination. You beat ‘em pretty easy, I bet, because they weren’t about to admit their tricks could fail. It’d hurt, say, Camazotz’s pride to say his bats couldn’t kill a few mortal bags of blood. They look at a battle as how they could use what they’ve got to fight.” Yeah, okay, he might not be an academic genius, but as some of the other people Darling’s met on the streets would put it, he’s got the street smarts. But there’s a part of that statement that she doesn’t get—and while he’s in a good mood, maybe he’d be willing to give pointers?
“How are you supposed to look at it, then?” she asks innocently, ignoring the Captain shaking her head decisively in her field of vision.
Her life is probably really messed up that the look of pride on the deity that has probably sworn to kill all of them is more than she’s ever gotten from any of her parental figures, as tangled as her emotions are about them. “You already figured that out. Just don’t realize it yet.”
She blinks, and he elaborates, “…Fighting requires more than one person, and who wins doesn’t have anything to do with who’s stronger. It’s all about reacting to your opponent. Get too caught up in your pride or what you can do, and you’re not keeping your mind open to anything you can use. Most of ‘em wouldn’t have anything to do with other deities, but I say bring ‘em on. You’ll never grow as a warrior if you refuse to fight. Different opponents have the most to teach you.”
Darling would rather be called ‘difficult’, but then, she supposes, that’s counter the way he’s talking about this. “It’s been a while since I heard this one, so I could have gotten it wrong, but I heard this story about this warrior. He’d been dipped in some kind of holy water as a kid, so he was completely invulnerable. Completely, except for the part of his ankle, which had been the only part not used to submerge him. Now, the best part—besides the fact that the one who threw him under probably should’ve made sure the job was finished—is that he died ‘cause of it. One of my favorite stories, really. Doesn’t matter if they’re technically leagues better than you, or you’d never win a ‘fair’ fight. War isn’t about fair. You cheat, you lie, you find that weakness and you ruthlessly take advantage of it to kill your opponent. If you don’t have what it takes to do that, you improvise. You didn’t have the power to take me out, and I was gonna kill you, so what did you do? You reached out for the power to kill me instead.”’
She hadn’t exactly been planning on killing him…but if it had been that or death, she would’ve done it and felt horrible about it. Even though it sounds like he absolutely has a better understanding of human war than some humans, but then, there’s probably a good reason that, according to Whisper, he’s a deity of warfare.
“Are you planning on becoming her patron or the like?” Von Stroheim questions, and he smirks, shaking his head.
“You’re still dead—but that’s one of the other things my fellow Lords are missing. I’m patient. I don’t have to kill you right now. Got some thinking to do. Besides, you’re more useful for me right now alive than dead.”
He snaps his fingers, and the few blades that were still swinging all stop at the exact same time. “I want to see how you do in the ball game, especially against my masters. It’s not like I’m going to go easy on you, but it’s been a while and it’s not like we’d just play each other, since Lord Akan told us we weren’t allowed to try to kill each other five hours before he nearly strangled the ‘Lady of the Night’.” He doesn’t actually use air quotes, but Darling can hear them anyway. “I lasted longer than the others—which means you’re not allowed to take your time with the suck-up weakling. Wipe the floor with him. Seems a few people around here forgot the only reason they had any success in planning these campaigns was due to my help. And unlike them, I’ve got the experience to say that yeah, rival deities are a problem. More than a few talented humans. I can kill you later, once they’ve stopped defiling Xibalba and I’ve eaten a beating heart or two—because in my experience, it’s never just one.” He just waves them on when they hesitate, and it’s surreal but they follow the unspoken advice anyway.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: The fight with this Lord of Death doesn't go the way they expect.
Word Count: 1303
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS
Warning: Jojo's/Buffy violence.
That would explain why Buluc Chabtan hadn’t even flinched or cried out when it came to her first plan and being stabbed in the back, Darling thinks, half-hysterically, panting to try to get back her breath. It’s not that he’d managed to avoid the attack or wasn’t hurt or anything. He’s bleeding from the hole in his chest, but he’s also laughing, which means that things like organs aren’t quite as vital on Lords of Death as they are, say, on humans.
To her surprise, though, he doesn’t follow that up with another attack or anything. He buries the spear in the ground once more and actually sits on the ground cross-legged, like a few of the pictures on the walls.
The Captain isn’t willing to just take that at face value, though, aiming another swing directly at his head, and Robin shoots another arrow at his torso, having restrung his bow the second he’d gotten her back to her feet. The Lord of Death catches both of them, one in either hand, without looking at them. The sword he drags out of Captain von Stroheim’s hand—carefully, so it won’t break, and then just…hands it back, hilt first, like she’s not going to just try to stab him with it again. He twirls the arrow in his fingers, and it takes Darling a moment to realize he’s not just showing off, because that’s a bullet buried in the wood of the arrow, as the rest splinters around it to make way. He then buries that in the floor, too, just because he can, and also, she suspects, to make a point.
He could break them. All of them, probably at once, without even sweating, if he’s even capable of such things, and he’s just…choosing not to, for some reason.
“It’s been so long since such a good fight. Then again, maybe I just need to get topside more often.” He sounds satisfied. Despite the fact that they’re still standing.
“What are you playing at?” the Captain hisses, because she’s the only one with the guts to just say that to a Lord of Death.
Forget crocodiles, the deity’s smile is that of a shark. “You know the problem with the useless cowards I work with?”
It’s clear at this point he’s actually looking for them to humor him with his questions at this point. If she’s just thinking about fairness, that’s the kind of expectation that only makes sense. The thing is, all of this is putting her more on edge than when she was bleeding out and dying not a few minutes ago. On the other hand, if they don’t play along, maybe he’ll lose his temper and just kill them anyway.
“They take things deathly seriously,” Mr. Brown suggests, which brings about another guffaw.
“Good one, and it’s related. They’ve got no imagination. You beat ‘em pretty easy, I bet, because they weren’t about to admit their tricks could fail. It’d hurt, say, Camazotz’s pride to say his bats couldn’t kill a few mortal bags of blood. They look at a battle as how they could use what they’ve got to fight.” Yeah, okay, he might not be an academic genius, but as some of the other people Darling’s met on the streets would put it, he’s got the street smarts. But there’s a part of that statement that she doesn’t get—and while he’s in a good mood, maybe he’d be willing to give pointers?
“How are you supposed to look at it, then?” she asks innocently, ignoring the Captain shaking her head decisively in her field of vision.
Her life is probably really messed up that the look of pride on the deity that has probably sworn to kill all of them is more than she’s ever gotten from any of her parental figures, as tangled as her emotions are about them. “You already figured that out. Just don’t realize it yet.”
She blinks, and he elaborates, “…Fighting requires more than one person, and who wins doesn’t have anything to do with who’s stronger. It’s all about reacting to your opponent. Get too caught up in your pride or what you can do, and you’re not keeping your mind open to anything you can use. Most of ‘em wouldn’t have anything to do with other deities, but I say bring ‘em on. You’ll never grow as a warrior if you refuse to fight. Different opponents have the most to teach you.”
Darling would rather be called ‘difficult’, but then, she supposes, that’s counter the way he’s talking about this. “It’s been a while since I heard this one, so I could have gotten it wrong, but I heard this story about this warrior. He’d been dipped in some kind of holy water as a kid, so he was completely invulnerable. Completely, except for the part of his ankle, which had been the only part not used to submerge him. Now, the best part—besides the fact that the one who threw him under probably should’ve made sure the job was finished—is that he died ‘cause of it. One of my favorite stories, really. Doesn’t matter if they’re technically leagues better than you, or you’d never win a ‘fair’ fight. War isn’t about fair. You cheat, you lie, you find that weakness and you ruthlessly take advantage of it to kill your opponent. If you don’t have what it takes to do that, you improvise. You didn’t have the power to take me out, and I was gonna kill you, so what did you do? You reached out for the power to kill me instead.”’
She hadn’t exactly been planning on killing him…but if it had been that or death, she would’ve done it and felt horrible about it. Even though it sounds like he absolutely has a better understanding of human war than some humans, but then, there’s probably a good reason that, according to Whisper, he’s a deity of warfare.
“Are you planning on becoming her patron or the like?” Von Stroheim questions, and he smirks, shaking his head.
“You’re still dead—but that’s one of the other things my fellow Lords are missing. I’m patient. I don’t have to kill you right now. Got some thinking to do. Besides, you’re more useful for me right now alive than dead.”
He snaps his fingers, and the few blades that were still swinging all stop at the exact same time. “I want to see how you do in the ball game, especially against my masters. It’s not like I’m going to go easy on you, but it’s been a while and it’s not like we’d just play each other, since Lord Akan told us we weren’t allowed to try to kill each other five hours before he nearly strangled the ‘Lady of the Night’.” He doesn’t actually use air quotes, but Darling can hear them anyway. “I lasted longer than the others—which means you’re not allowed to take your time with the suck-up weakling. Wipe the floor with him. Seems a few people around here forgot the only reason they had any success in planning these campaigns was due to my help. And unlike them, I’ve got the experience to say that yeah, rival deities are a problem. More than a few talented humans. I can kill you later, once they’ve stopped defiling Xibalba and I’ve eaten a beating heart or two—because in my experience, it’s never just one.” He just waves them on when they hesitate, and it’s surreal but they follow the unspoken advice anyway.
