System Error: Identity Manager (Part XIV)

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: Despite how it might look, the transition isn't easy. There's only so long the destabilized situation can continue before something's gotta give...
Miraculous AU
Word Count: 1513
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Tony/Pepper (mentioned)

        Their watcher doesn’t make a move all throughout the mission.  No one even notices anything wrong, mostly because Tony’s gotten pretty good at pretending with that kind of thing.  Whoever or whatever it is doesn’t seem interested in trying to take anyone over, though, just watching.  Maybe it’s trying to learn about him, about his weaknesses, but it also doesn’t feel malicious.  And hey, he’s come to trust a cat’s instincts.
        It’s not until they’re coming back and he turns to talk to Pepper that something finally happens.
        Time skips.  He’s on a couch, an old couch he remembers from his apartment with Rhodey, but it’s clearly just the same couch, because that wall is different.
        The room is dark.  He can see, with the cat eyes, but he can tell it’s dark, too.  If he wasn’t Stray Cat right now, he’d have trouble seeing.  The idea that this is a Trickster God is sounding more and more likely by the minute.  The thing is, unlike the last time (and even that might’ve been an illusion) he felt like he was actually making decisions, saying things, and the like.  He wants more of a look around, but he can’t turn his head.  He can’t move his hands.  The only thing moving is his tail, lashing around.  Waiting.  He’s gotten better at that, but it’s still not his favorite.
        One of his ears flicks backward, toward the door, and he speaks without even trying.  “Claws off, Yinsin,” he orders, and the suit disappears right back into the room, and his eyes can’t see any details anymore, not that it even matters if he won’t look around.
        Someone’s a grumpy cat.  The words are clear, suddenly, but it doesn’t seem like whoever or whatever is doing this knows they’ve been spotted because there’s no change in the watchful feeling. 
        He’s wearing his softest hoodie and an ancient pair of jeans and a band t-shirt and his fingerless gloves.  Thinking back, he remembers dressing himself in the kind of casual wear he would’ve worn in college, only it’s not the faux-thrift shop look he would’ve paid an exorbitant amount of money for at the time but actually cheap clothes, because for years, that’s all he could afford.  That’s changed.  Obidiah’s been charged, and SHIELD’s the one planning his incarceration, which—well, with their track record, who knows, but Tony’s slightly hopeful.  Cautiously optimistic.  However you’d want to phrase it.
        At the very least, this means he doesn’t have to be in hiding anymore.  He can resume his old life.
        It’s…a strange feeling.  He’d thought he couldn’t wait for the day.  That all he wanted was to get back to his old life.  But he’d had a conversation—this one he remembers—with Pep.  Because if she asked, he’d stay that goofy overqualified retail worker by day and black cat of misfortune by night.  He’s learned to live without the money or attention or fame.  In some ways, it’s really nice.  Freeing.
        She had argued that he was getting bored, and she wasn’t wrong, but that was nice in its own way.  Imagine, getting bored.  He hadn’t understood the concept for the longest time, and once he had, well—how many things could he do with that time?  Okay, fair, a lot of it included catnaps in Pepper’s apartment, but still, that was more of a heaven than any designer bed or one-night stand—and yeah, sure, maybe that means he’s no stray anymore, but look, he’s intelligent enough not to argue with his Lady Luck.  When she says she’s adopted him, he’s not about to put up any kind of protest.  But even then, his mind races, and he can do outlandish things like check out books from the library and read them.
        But she’d also argued that there’s no way SHIELD would just let them live in anonymous happiness.  It suits Fury that he has a blackmailable billionaire at his disposal.  Her homicidal rage is only as adorable as it is because he knows she doesn’t plan on actually following through because she’s smarter than he is.  When it comes to this kind of thing, anyway.
        The company is not doing well as it is.  He could actually put it to good use.  And, she grins impishly, it’s a hell of a statement if she shows up to her tenth college anniversary with Tony Stark on her arm, which is a statement he can’t argue with.  At all.
        He might just pull out the anonymous hoodie look when it gets to be too much, though.  And with Yinsin’s help, he can even pull it off, at least with everybody but SHIELD.
        That part he remembers deeply.  As theoreticals, because it’d been promised as an eventually.  But Obie getting in trouble, getting to get his old life back, as actual facts and not just a possibility for the future?  Those are things he remembers like the dry facts of a Wikipedia article, but it doesn’t feel real.  He knows what he’s wearing, how he’d run over the city skyline like the Stray Cat he is to get here, the fact that Rhodey didn’t bother to lock the balcony window, although most people couldn’t get in through the window (seriously, the bonelessness of a feline is useful flexibility-wise) and it’s not like there’s a fire escape out there, so he probably wouldn’t expect anyone to be able to get up here.
        Still, it’s an oversight, and if he pokes fun enough Rhodey’s likely to listen more than if he just points it out in concern.  They have a strange relationship.  They had a strange relationship.  Hopefully it will continue to be a strange relationship.  Assuming any of this is even happening.  He will find out.
        The door opens.  The light turns on.  And then he hears the bag Rhodey’s holding drop to the ground.
        “Oh my god.  Tony.”  Rhodey runs, not even bothering to take off his shoes, and suddenly he’s in his friend’s arms in one of the biggest bear hugs he’d ever had in his life.  It’s slightly uncomfortable.  He’s grown unused to touch, over the last few years, but this is Rhodey and from the man’s point of view he’s come back from the dead, so he’ll cut him some slack.  “God, Tony.”
        And then the unreality gets worse, because his mouth moves on his own and he moves on his own, hugging back.  “I always meant to keep my promise, you know.”  Rhodey just stares at him, so he elaborates, “…to be your wingman.”
        His best friend snorts, half hysterical, and shakes his head.  “Eh, I didn’t need your help anyway.”
        “Keep telling yourself that,” he grins, and it’s almost easy, the way it comes back.
        “Glad you’re back.”  It’s honest.  It’s the most honest they’ll let themselves be.  But it’s nice to have a small taste without getting too much.  If that makes sense.  It probably makes no sense, really, but it makes sense for the way his mind works, so he’ll deal.
        “Glad to be back.  Just, uh, quick recap, since you missed the whole show: Obie tried to have me killed, I’ve been laying low aside from becoming a superhero, and he just got arrested.  There’s going to be a military tribunal or whatever.  Consider this your formal invitation.”  He pauses.  “Oh, yeah, and I got a girlfriend.  It’s been, what, seven months now?”  Like he’s reading from a script.  It’s the kind of script he’d write, the words he’d choose, but he’s not actually saying a word of this on his own, unprompted.
        “I missed a lot, sounds like,” Rhodey states, though it’s kind of telling he’s more surprised about the girlfriend than the superhero thing.  “Only thing on my end you’d really care about is I got promoted to colonel, and even then you’re not the type of guy who cares about ranks or titles,” he points out, and Tony shakes his head.
        “Just ‘cause it doesn’t matter to me doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to you.  If you’re happy, I’m happy.”  At the incredulous eyebrow, he adds, “…still can’t promise I can listen when it comes to something I’m not interested in, but I still like to hear people talk about their passions, you know?”
        Another look.  “Okay, think I can see how you managed to land a long-term relationship.  You’ve changed for the better, Tony.”  No kidding.  You’re more well-adjusted than anyone but the Mechanic, so far anyway.  Part of him feels like he should argue but he’s pretty sure it’d just be a mock complaint because he can’t really debate the truth.  Part of him isn’t even sure what that means.  He can’t even spare the time to figure out what’s going on, though, because the film keeps running.  And then his best friend grins.  “I think I could dig out my best suit for watching justice find the guy who took my best friend from me.  Just let me know when and where.”
        Tony opens his mouth and then the world dissolves into code.