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madimpossibledreamerMain Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: The group and the Lords of Death discuss terms.
Word Count: 1169
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS
“I’m Darling Violetta, your terrifying Lordships,” she begins. She might as well. Whisper said nothing about names having power, so just like Mr. Brown had indicated who the real Lords of Death were by looking, she has to lead the way by example.
Buluc Chabtan apparently finds this amusing, too. “Ooh, I like that one. Can we add it to our epithets?”
“I’m sure you’ve been called that before, if not to your face,” Camazotz offers sourly.
“And I am Robin Brown.” He bows from where they’re kneeling, which apparently also amuses them.
“My name is Captain Beefheart von Stroheim,” the Captain offers, and doesn’t flinch as Zipacna stands and comes within a few inches of her face.
“She says she’s a warrior, Buluc Chabtan!” he exclaims, and the ruffian is less amused by the proclamation.
“Yeah, so back off,” he growls.
The Captain interrupts them before they can start fighting each other. True, that wouldn’t be too bad of an outcome, but not while they’re right there. “Here’s the offer. We want to make it through your domain in a shape to fight Wesley Wyndam-Price, the human who has infringed on your sovereign right to rule Xibalba. I imagine you are unhappy with his presumption, using the position of you Lords and your dominion as little more than guard dogs at his door. In addition, given the fact that he’s not already tortured and wishing he was dead in this room, he must have used some sort of clause in his spell to prevent you from dragging him out like the worm he is. Furthermore, the ending of the world of humans at his hands would be bad for you. I don’t imagine demons sacrifice each other for your sake often, so if you want any hope of human sacrifice in your future, it’s also in your best interest not to let this continue. Thus, you want us to act on your behalf, causing Wyndam-Price to suffer in an adequate fashion and free yourselves and Xibalba. We also wish to accomplish these goals, so it only makes sense for us to become allies in this matter.” Wow. If Darling has to sign any contracts in her life, she’s definitely going to take them to Captain von Stroheim. She’s impressive.
Even Kisin looks impressed. “Brown is not the only one with a knack of seeing through to the heart of a matter, is he? It sadly isn’t that simple. True, we both have a single goal, although I suspect you tell yourselves your desire to see Wyndam-Price suffer is more noble in intent than ours. Those seeking a boon from the Lords of Death must first undergo the smallest of trials to prove their strength.”
“We couldn’t skip that given the urgency of the situation?” Darling asks hopefully, and the Lord shakes his head, sadly. Mock sadly? She gets the feeling he’s not as unhappy about it as he’s pretending.
“Tradition. Humans might like to use such things as an excuse, but it’s not really optional in the case of deities. Our power comes from the inability to change too much from our nature, unlike humans. Where would we be if we stopped demanding human sacrifices?” Camazotz rolls his eyes at the speech, just as Kisin starts getting really into it, while Jacawitz hangs onto every word.
On the decline, as you’ve been for hundreds of years. You were tricked into taking less and less tribute by heroes such as the Twins, which in turn made you more grasping and vicious, determined to try to keep whatever scraps of power you still retained, Kukulkan offers through Whisper. But on that note, it’s weird that he’s smoking and talking definitely not like he’s an ancient deity stuck unchanging from the past.
“You start thinking, well, I can afford to make an exception here, an exception here, but that kind of lack of discipline leads to the downfall of deities. If you can’t be expected to be predictable and follow your word, then you’re no god at all, I’m afraid.” His beneficent smile is more unnerving than Zipacna’s unmoving glower. “Unless any of you happened to drag in a corpse or two from the outside, no matter how tedious? Already dead and sloppy seconds are rather poor, as offerings go, but, as in many things, it’s the thought that counts.”
Darling shakes her head mutely. Apparently, she hadn’t actually gotten numb to all this gore she’s been surrounded with recently. It’d been a concern. Or, well, not a concern exactly, more like a wonder.
“There you are, then.” Then again, even if they’d been as morbid as to bring one in, it would’ve made getting through the traps harder and, she suspects, maybe even would have just earned them the right to skip one of the trials, not the process as a whole. It’s not like his servant-dog wouldn’t have told him that already, so there’s no point in him asking other than for some weird kind of power play.
“And I suppose you wouldn’t be enjoying yourself at all, watching us suffer,” Mr. Brown states with every bit of sarcasm he can muster (and given who it is, that’s a lot of sarcasm).
The grin merely grows, as he doesn’t attempt to hide it at all. “Tradition. I will note, should you survive, it should make no difference to the success or failure of your quest to make Wyndam-Price suffer. While the spell to connect Xibalba to this inadequate construction and the one to protect him from our wrath worked perfectly well, it seems the magician has failed to take into account the necessary requisites to properly control Xibalba itself, probably partly because he was so selfish as to keep all those sacrifices to himself for power rather than offering even one to us. Time will pass differently here than in the world you came from.”
“Fine. We’ll pass your trials, and then you’ll let us do what you want us to do anyway,” Mr. Brown states confidently.
Lord Kisin claps his hands, the sound odd given that he’s still a skeleton. “I’m pleased. Given your skills as reported to me, it’ll be a mere formality, I’m sure. Follow my servant; he can show you the way, at least until you begin. After that, well, it’d be cheating to offer you help, and power blah blah. You get the idea, I’m sure.” It’s very odd that someone, even a Mayan deity, can manage to sound so sincere and insincere at the exact same time.
The dog obediently rises and trots to a door leading into the next room, and they follow, but the Captain stops at the door and looks back. “One last thing. I’ve heard someone’s been leaving eyeballs in various locations. Was that you?”
The skeleton laughs indulgently. “My dear young warrior, I’m not the only one with eyes in many places.”
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: The group and the Lords of Death discuss terms.
Word Count: 1169
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS
“First, I think it’s only fair that our petitioners introduce themselves, hmm?” Kisin suggests, blowing smoke.
“I’m Darling Violetta, your terrifying Lordships,” she begins. She might as well. Whisper said nothing about names having power, so just like Mr. Brown had indicated who the real Lords of Death were by looking, she has to lead the way by example.
Buluc Chabtan apparently finds this amusing, too. “Ooh, I like that one. Can we add it to our epithets?”
“I’m sure you’ve been called that before, if not to your face,” Camazotz offers sourly.
“And I am Robin Brown.” He bows from where they’re kneeling, which apparently also amuses them.
“My name is Captain Beefheart von Stroheim,” the Captain offers, and doesn’t flinch as Zipacna stands and comes within a few inches of her face.
“She says she’s a warrior, Buluc Chabtan!” he exclaims, and the ruffian is less amused by the proclamation.
“Yeah, so back off,” he growls.
The Captain interrupts them before they can start fighting each other. True, that wouldn’t be too bad of an outcome, but not while they’re right there. “Here’s the offer. We want to make it through your domain in a shape to fight Wesley Wyndam-Price, the human who has infringed on your sovereign right to rule Xibalba. I imagine you are unhappy with his presumption, using the position of you Lords and your dominion as little more than guard dogs at his door. In addition, given the fact that he’s not already tortured and wishing he was dead in this room, he must have used some sort of clause in his spell to prevent you from dragging him out like the worm he is. Furthermore, the ending of the world of humans at his hands would be bad for you. I don’t imagine demons sacrifice each other for your sake often, so if you want any hope of human sacrifice in your future, it’s also in your best interest not to let this continue. Thus, you want us to act on your behalf, causing Wyndam-Price to suffer in an adequate fashion and free yourselves and Xibalba. We also wish to accomplish these goals, so it only makes sense for us to become allies in this matter.” Wow. If Darling has to sign any contracts in her life, she’s definitely going to take them to Captain von Stroheim. She’s impressive.
Even Kisin looks impressed. “Brown is not the only one with a knack of seeing through to the heart of a matter, is he? It sadly isn’t that simple. True, we both have a single goal, although I suspect you tell yourselves your desire to see Wyndam-Price suffer is more noble in intent than ours. Those seeking a boon from the Lords of Death must first undergo the smallest of trials to prove their strength.”
“We couldn’t skip that given the urgency of the situation?” Darling asks hopefully, and the Lord shakes his head, sadly. Mock sadly? She gets the feeling he’s not as unhappy about it as he’s pretending.
“Tradition. Humans might like to use such things as an excuse, but it’s not really optional in the case of deities. Our power comes from the inability to change too much from our nature, unlike humans. Where would we be if we stopped demanding human sacrifices?” Camazotz rolls his eyes at the speech, just as Kisin starts getting really into it, while Jacawitz hangs onto every word.
On the decline, as you’ve been for hundreds of years. You were tricked into taking less and less tribute by heroes such as the Twins, which in turn made you more grasping and vicious, determined to try to keep whatever scraps of power you still retained, Kukulkan offers through Whisper. But on that note, it’s weird that he’s smoking and talking definitely not like he’s an ancient deity stuck unchanging from the past.
“You start thinking, well, I can afford to make an exception here, an exception here, but that kind of lack of discipline leads to the downfall of deities. If you can’t be expected to be predictable and follow your word, then you’re no god at all, I’m afraid.” His beneficent smile is more unnerving than Zipacna’s unmoving glower. “Unless any of you happened to drag in a corpse or two from the outside, no matter how tedious? Already dead and sloppy seconds are rather poor, as offerings go, but, as in many things, it’s the thought that counts.”
Darling shakes her head mutely. Apparently, she hadn’t actually gotten numb to all this gore she’s been surrounded with recently. It’d been a concern. Or, well, not a concern exactly, more like a wonder.
“There you are, then.” Then again, even if they’d been as morbid as to bring one in, it would’ve made getting through the traps harder and, she suspects, maybe even would have just earned them the right to skip one of the trials, not the process as a whole. It’s not like his servant-dog wouldn’t have told him that already, so there’s no point in him asking other than for some weird kind of power play.
“And I suppose you wouldn’t be enjoying yourself at all, watching us suffer,” Mr. Brown states with every bit of sarcasm he can muster (and given who it is, that’s a lot of sarcasm).
The grin merely grows, as he doesn’t attempt to hide it at all. “Tradition. I will note, should you survive, it should make no difference to the success or failure of your quest to make Wyndam-Price suffer. While the spell to connect Xibalba to this inadequate construction and the one to protect him from our wrath worked perfectly well, it seems the magician has failed to take into account the necessary requisites to properly control Xibalba itself, probably partly because he was so selfish as to keep all those sacrifices to himself for power rather than offering even one to us. Time will pass differently here than in the world you came from.”
“Fine. We’ll pass your trials, and then you’ll let us do what you want us to do anyway,” Mr. Brown states confidently.
Lord Kisin claps his hands, the sound odd given that he’s still a skeleton. “I’m pleased. Given your skills as reported to me, it’ll be a mere formality, I’m sure. Follow my servant; he can show you the way, at least until you begin. After that, well, it’d be cheating to offer you help, and power blah blah. You get the idea, I’m sure.” It’s very odd that someone, even a Mayan deity, can manage to sound so sincere and insincere at the exact same time.
The dog obediently rises and trots to a door leading into the next room, and they follow, but the Captain stops at the door and looks back. “One last thing. I’ve heard someone’s been leaving eyeballs in various locations. Was that you?”
The skeleton laughs indulgently. “My dear young warrior, I’m not the only one with eyes in many places.”
