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madimpossibledreamerthe US sucks so much rn blargh
Main Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: Fitz and crew finally arrive at the site of Wesley's ascension.
Word Count: 1358
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS
“Did you see that shadow move?” Darling asks in a hushed whisper, pointing at one of the stones, and almost immediately there’s a gun in the Captain’s hands and Robin has strung his bow. It takes another moment for the rest of them to pull out their Stands.
“I did not, but perhaps you should scout—carefully,” Beefheart replies, and Darling nods, Whisper flying off, movements slightly more wary than its usual flying.
“Before we approach personally, perhaps you should explain more about this process,” Fitz suggests, and Xander winces; clearly the memory is not a pleasant one.
“Okay, to start with, let me emphasize that our graduation class had the highest level of survival and lowest amount of Obit and Missing appearances in our school newspaper,” he states, and that’s an unsettling shock, because there’s no joke, nothing amused in the tone this time. Jojo is, for once, being completely serious, and despite what he would have said previously if asked, the blond abruptly discovers he doesn’t like it very much. Then again, it’s rather easy to overlook morale until something is wrong. “This despite the ‘fighting a battle on graduation day and having a number of people including our principal be eaten’ bit. Now, Snyder wasn’t much of a loss, but. A lot of good people died that day. But hey, you know, no world endage or even higher casualties, so we counted it as being of the good anyway.”
Beefheart nods, still keeping a sharp eye on their surroundings despite the fact that still nothing is moving besides them. She looks impressed.
Johan continues with that same solemn tone and casual wording, arms crossed and defensive. Pretender paces behind them all, alert and protective, and as telling as his Stand’s watchful restlessness is, perhaps it’s even more telling that he’s not trying to hide this, laugh it off or conceal it with a distraction of some sort. “I’m hoping this isn’t the case, but the last guy who tried this little trick had a period of ‘Can’t Touch This’ invulnerability before the actual day of the ritual. We had to wait until it was complete, at which point he was vulnerable—you know, blow-up-your-school, explode-a-volcano style vulnerable.” Fitz raises his eyebrows, interested at the parallels, and Jojo nods slightly, confirming the mental picture. “Though since he’s aiming for a Pillar Man, I’m hoping it won’t come to that. As a refresher, Pillar People are like octopi and can slip through tiny spaces, and can feed on you just by merging with you and absorbing you. When feeding, they’re vulnerable to hamon, even if we don’t know about other weaknesses, and can’t move with UV or actual sunlight, hence the ‘Pillar’ part.”
“And as for the ritual itself?” Fitz clarifies—he’s heard of such things in the abstract through various books, but an academic’s understanding is all he has. And in the meantime, Jojo was having to contend with such horrors without him. Not for the last time, he wishes he could have been there for his friend.
The shrug is rather expressive. “We can’t know that—not yet, anyway. Wesley has the book or whatever it is. Our biggest breakthrough would be if Giles or the others happen to find some mention in a secondary or tertiary source, like a diary describing the original. Apparently he’s hopeful, but we can’t count on that, so we might have to improvise.”
Like that’s a hardship for a Jojo. Particularly this one. Instead, the blond muses, “I suspect you’ve been holding out on me.”
It takes Johan a moment before he laughs, understanding what he’s trying to say. “Hey, any terminology I blame on Giles, and I didn’t want to crowd in too much on your thing.”
Fitz shakes his head, not bothering to try to hide his smile this time, and the Captain rolls her eyes and clears her throat, pointedly glancing at the ruins which are, according to Robin’s gadgets, the correct coordinates. Sure, it’s a little bit of a distraction, and they don’t have too much time for this, but it had actually helped Darling relax a little.
“Do you have any educated guesses as to the nature of what we’ll be facing?” she asks.
Xander lets out a deep, unhappy breath. “Human sacrifice. It’s a stereotype for a reason. If not before the ceremony, then after. Newly Ascended demons tend to be hungry. And sure, our unexpected ally might’ve managed to delay some of Wesley’s troops, but not all of them. Which means if they’re not out here serving, if nothing else, as delaying meat shields to buy him time, he’s got a better use for them. Pillar People being all about life essence just makes that so much more likely. I suspect Anonymous is from another Wolfram & Hart faction and this is infighting and we’re being used, but we can’t exactly just act like this apocalypse doesn’t concern us. Besides whatever weird stuff the ritual involves, I’d expect him to have given himself the best chance, so he probably used the Stand Arrow on himself before they lost it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he used the Stone Mask too, just to be sure.”
“And he wouldn’t be worried about dying?” That’s a sensible query from Robin, but then Fitz had hardly expected differently.
“They’ve got contracts that extend beyond death. Even if he died again, it wouldn’t be that big a deal, which is why W&H having this stuff was such a problem.” That’s…different. It’d certainly be interesting to read about it and look for legal loopholes, potentially to help some of those trapped by the contracts, but this is hardly the time and Fitz would be a curious amateur at best.
“What happens if we stop him from finishing?” Darling adds, trying to seem like she isn’t completely useless here—and she’s not, that was a good question, but Fitz would hardly have complained, given that she’s distracted scouting for that moving shadow.
Jojo looks honestly startled. “You mean, does he get eaten for the presumption or what? Uh…”
And then a seethrough woman with red hair appears, and Robin’s bow almost immediately fires.
“Good timing,” Johan states cheerfully, acting completely unaware of the attack. “Do we know what interrupting an Ascension even does?”
“…Make for a really ticked off almost-demon who may or may not still be invincible?” she suggests. “I’m with the General Joestar Group, and your mom says to leave some for her, and Jotaro says that you can’t lose, only with more swearing.”
Jojo smirks. It’s likely he knows the exact wording, thinking about it.
She glares, and the smirk falters, at which she nods and continues. “And Giles managed to find a little, so I thought I’d share. We’re getting close, so I could wait, but you’re going to go in anyway before we get there, aren’t you?”
He shuffles his feet, looking every bit the scolded child. “Sorry, Wils.”
She actually waggles her finger at him. “You better be okay, mister. Or I’ll bring you back from the dead, too, and there will be many words. You will rue the day.”
He actually laughs at that. “Got it.” And then he glances at Fitz. “Oh, by the way, quick introductions…”
“Enemy spotted!” Beefheart barks, bringing up her gun.
Main Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: Fitz and crew finally arrive at the site of Wesley's ascension.
Word Count: 1358
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS
The frequency of the jokes and random stories doesn’t decrease at all as they approach the site. Far be it for Fitz to utter clichés, of course, but still, finding the site entirely deserted and silent is far more eerie than a whole horde opposing them. Never mind guards, the place is supposed to be a semi-popular tourist site, and it’s not too far from the city, but still, there’s no people, no bodies, no animals even. Quiet and seemingly calm in the way only a place where violence has already happened or is about to happen can be. Breaking the silence in such a place should make him even more uneasy about making them targets, but honestly, they probably already are, and as such it’s nice to have something that can be counted on.
“Did you see that shadow move?” Darling asks in a hushed whisper, pointing at one of the stones, and almost immediately there’s a gun in the Captain’s hands and Robin has strung his bow. It takes another moment for the rest of them to pull out their Stands.
“I did not, but perhaps you should scout—carefully,” Beefheart replies, and Darling nods, Whisper flying off, movements slightly more wary than its usual flying.
“Before we approach personally, perhaps you should explain more about this process,” Fitz suggests, and Xander winces; clearly the memory is not a pleasant one.
“Okay, to start with, let me emphasize that our graduation class had the highest level of survival and lowest amount of Obit and Missing appearances in our school newspaper,” he states, and that’s an unsettling shock, because there’s no joke, nothing amused in the tone this time. Jojo is, for once, being completely serious, and despite what he would have said previously if asked, the blond abruptly discovers he doesn’t like it very much. Then again, it’s rather easy to overlook morale until something is wrong. “This despite the ‘fighting a battle on graduation day and having a number of people including our principal be eaten’ bit. Now, Snyder wasn’t much of a loss, but. A lot of good people died that day. But hey, you know, no world endage or even higher casualties, so we counted it as being of the good anyway.”
Beefheart nods, still keeping a sharp eye on their surroundings despite the fact that still nothing is moving besides them. She looks impressed.
Johan continues with that same solemn tone and casual wording, arms crossed and defensive. Pretender paces behind them all, alert and protective, and as telling as his Stand’s watchful restlessness is, perhaps it’s even more telling that he’s not trying to hide this, laugh it off or conceal it with a distraction of some sort. “I’m hoping this isn’t the case, but the last guy who tried this little trick had a period of ‘Can’t Touch This’ invulnerability before the actual day of the ritual. We had to wait until it was complete, at which point he was vulnerable—you know, blow-up-your-school, explode-a-volcano style vulnerable.” Fitz raises his eyebrows, interested at the parallels, and Jojo nods slightly, confirming the mental picture. “Though since he’s aiming for a Pillar Man, I’m hoping it won’t come to that. As a refresher, Pillar People are like octopi and can slip through tiny spaces, and can feed on you just by merging with you and absorbing you. When feeding, they’re vulnerable to hamon, even if we don’t know about other weaknesses, and can’t move with UV or actual sunlight, hence the ‘Pillar’ part.”
“And as for the ritual itself?” Fitz clarifies—he’s heard of such things in the abstract through various books, but an academic’s understanding is all he has. And in the meantime, Jojo was having to contend with such horrors without him. Not for the last time, he wishes he could have been there for his friend.
The shrug is rather expressive. “We can’t know that—not yet, anyway. Wesley has the book or whatever it is. Our biggest breakthrough would be if Giles or the others happen to find some mention in a secondary or tertiary source, like a diary describing the original. Apparently he’s hopeful, but we can’t count on that, so we might have to improvise.”
Like that’s a hardship for a Jojo. Particularly this one. Instead, the blond muses, “I suspect you’ve been holding out on me.”
It takes Johan a moment before he laughs, understanding what he’s trying to say. “Hey, any terminology I blame on Giles, and I didn’t want to crowd in too much on your thing.”
Fitz shakes his head, not bothering to try to hide his smile this time, and the Captain rolls her eyes and clears her throat, pointedly glancing at the ruins which are, according to Robin’s gadgets, the correct coordinates. Sure, it’s a little bit of a distraction, and they don’t have too much time for this, but it had actually helped Darling relax a little.
“Do you have any educated guesses as to the nature of what we’ll be facing?” she asks.
Xander lets out a deep, unhappy breath. “Human sacrifice. It’s a stereotype for a reason. If not before the ceremony, then after. Newly Ascended demons tend to be hungry. And sure, our unexpected ally might’ve managed to delay some of Wesley’s troops, but not all of them. Which means if they’re not out here serving, if nothing else, as delaying meat shields to buy him time, he’s got a better use for them. Pillar People being all about life essence just makes that so much more likely. I suspect Anonymous is from another Wolfram & Hart faction and this is infighting and we’re being used, but we can’t exactly just act like this apocalypse doesn’t concern us. Besides whatever weird stuff the ritual involves, I’d expect him to have given himself the best chance, so he probably used the Stand Arrow on himself before they lost it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he used the Stone Mask too, just to be sure.”
“And he wouldn’t be worried about dying?” That’s a sensible query from Robin, but then Fitz had hardly expected differently.
“They’ve got contracts that extend beyond death. Even if he died again, it wouldn’t be that big a deal, which is why W&H having this stuff was such a problem.” That’s…different. It’d certainly be interesting to read about it and look for legal loopholes, potentially to help some of those trapped by the contracts, but this is hardly the time and Fitz would be a curious amateur at best.
“What happens if we stop him from finishing?” Darling adds, trying to seem like she isn’t completely useless here—and she’s not, that was a good question, but Fitz would hardly have complained, given that she’s distracted scouting for that moving shadow.
Jojo looks honestly startled. “You mean, does he get eaten for the presumption or what? Uh…”
And then a seethrough woman with red hair appears, and Robin’s bow almost immediately fires.
“Good timing,” Johan states cheerfully, acting completely unaware of the attack. “Do we know what interrupting an Ascension even does?”
“…Make for a really ticked off almost-demon who may or may not still be invincible?” she suggests. “I’m with the General Joestar Group, and your mom says to leave some for her, and Jotaro says that you can’t lose, only with more swearing.”
Jojo smirks. It’s likely he knows the exact wording, thinking about it.
She glares, and the smirk falters, at which she nods and continues. “And Giles managed to find a little, so I thought I’d share. We’re getting close, so I could wait, but you’re going to go in anyway before we get there, aren’t you?”
He shuffles his feet, looking every bit the scolded child. “Sorry, Wils.”
She actually waggles her finger at him. “You better be okay, mister. Or I’ll bring you back from the dead, too, and there will be many words. You will rue the day.”
He actually laughs at that. “Got it.” And then he glances at Fitz. “Oh, by the way, quick introductions…”
“Enemy spotted!” Beefheart barks, bringing up her gun.
