To Know Your Shadow
Jun. 5th, 2022 08:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madimpossibledreamerMain Points:
Persona 4 Prince of Persia inspired au
Chapter Summary: Prince Yosuke takes the step to be accepted by his Kanet and become a Prince of Sumaru.
Word Count: 1328
Rating: Gen
Even the smell is gone.
He blinks against the light as it forms, the eerie blue of a soul candle, for however dim it is it is still quite the change after an unknown period of time straining his eyes against complete blackness. And at first, he thinks that his regained vision is playing tricks, for the shadows seem to be moving. It takes a little while to realize, with another gulp, that this is not true. The shadows really are moving, running from the light to a corner, joining together into a shape.
The fear is natural, he reminds himself, if unnecessary, because he is a Prince of Sumaru and they walk the shadows with no fear. Neither the Kanet nor Yami will harm him.
The shadow forms into a human, and then—
That’s something that they don’t mention in the stories, Yosuke thinks with a gulp as he looks at an exact replica of himself. Of course, they probably cannot, given that they aren’t allowed to talk about the ritual, but still, much can be communicated in metaphor!
It smirks at him, eyes glowing yellow. It seems completely in its element, casual and confident where he’s uncomfortable and scared, but then, it would be. This is its home. You must not deny it, no matter what it says. You must be aware of your own faults, for the Midnight King will use these as weapons against you. That had been a straightforward instruction, if a little ominous.
“I—you’re a Kanet, right? It is my honor to meet you.”
“I’m sure it is.” There’s an echo in its voice, an echo that someone else—no, probably best to be honest here even with himself. An echo that he’d call sinister, that scares him a little even as he knows it is not his enemy. “After all, you’d have died of apathy long ago if it wasn’t for crap like this, right, Prince?”
He frowns, confused. The tone is hostile, but—surely he has yet to do anything to displease Yami or the Kanet, right? Maybe he should have paid more attention to religious rules, after all—
“Oh, I don’t know why you’d think a little thing like keeping Sumaru’s patron goddess happy would be important for a Prince to learn,” the Kanet reads his mind and responds effortlessly.
“I…I apologize that I have offended, but I am willing to act to make amends,” he begins, and a snarl appears on the Kanet’s face.
“You’re just trying to escape punishment! You can’t fool me for a second that this is about your people at all. This is one hundred percent selfish.”
And he forgets himself, that he’s not supposed to deny it. Because true, he’s terrified of punishment, of being the only one to fail, and all will know the failure of the Prince of Sumaru Yosuke. Would they strike his name from the record, or simply speak of him in disappointed tones, of the pathetic status of the only unworthy Prince. But the rulers and the land are one, and if he has offended, then it’s not merely him that suffers. “You’re wrong! The Shiraishi Lady and Rumormongers and Bards don’t deserve to pay for my sins!”
“You only help them out because you’re bored,” the Kanet sneers, and Yosuke crosses his arms. “You don’t actually care about them. You just feel a little less lonely, a little less empty, when people are around, even though nothing really changes.”
“So?” It’s an uncomfortable thing to admit, true, but better than being devoured by the dark, down here. “There are an endless number of things I could possibly do to stave off boredom, and yet I decide to help others. And it’s true.” He bites it out, tears of humiliation or maybe pain beginning to gather in his eyes. “I feel as if I am nothing, deserve nothing, but at least in helping others I have a purpose.”
The Kanet is taken aback, though he thinks he might’ve seen a small smile before he continues, “You do that because you want the recognition, not for any good that may come of it.”
“Can’t it be both?” he shoots back, aware that yes, this is still an accurate assessment, but. He is the Queen’s son, and they have all heard the phrase Always think positive enough that it resides beside the memorized ritual phrases in their hearts. “I do show off, yes. But—I want others to share my happiness. People don’t go to the bards to sing their songs, not in the capital, but no one deserves a life without music, so I pass it along, make sure their words and melodies are remembered. When the beautiful maiden or handsome fellow is looking down, I try to cheer them up, even if the only way for me to do so is to act the fool. Perhaps it is a blow to my pride, but it’s worth it, even to see a tearful smile. Sometimes the people need a reminder to lend each other a hand, and I can serve as one. Anyone—” and he suddenly gulps, because this is his true insecurity, isn’t it? and yet, he can’t back down—“…anyone could do as I do. I do want renown, a reminder that though without the princely titles I am as special as a grain of sand, but in the end…” He forces himself to breathe, tries not to let the tears fall, “…in the end, if I can ease the burdens of my people, if I can provide for them, cherish them, make them understand that without them, there is no kingdom worth having, then I have done something worthwhile. I am terrible at my lessons, my mind always wandering. I cannot be the hero in stories. I love Sumaru, and yet, I remain restless, and as you said, bored. I cannot be the warrior Princess Yukiko is. I cannot be the firstborn Prince Akihiko is. And while I am popular, I cannot light a candle to the love all have for Prince Kumarou. My climbing and singing can do nothing but amuse. But…” His hands shake. He forces them to stop. Lacking though he might be, he is a Prince of the Sumaru, and he cannot, will not, act otherwise. “…I can be as I am.”
He starts slightly as a cool hand gently wipes away his tears. “That is all we can do, Prince. An act need not be selfish or selfless. It may just be, and is worth no less when it touches one life rather than many.”
The smile is friendly, now. “You may now refer to me as Jirai. I am your Kanet, and pledge to serve you well. Now let’s get back to the real world. I wanna actually taste that bowl of ramen you mentioned.”
Yosuke throws his head back and laughs. “I have the feeling you may be waiting for a while. There’s still the ritual feast once we return.”
“Pity.” He’s not sure if the word is whispered or spoken directly into his mind as the Kanet hugs him and then all at once slips beneath his skin, into his mind, slotting into his soul once more. No Spirit Guide reappears to take him from this dark chamber, even as the soul candle winks out, but it’s fine. With the Kanet’s sight overlaid atop his own, he can see the glowing blue trails leading back, can see perfectly in the darkness. He can’t wait to see the Queen, always so busy with affairs of state, and hear her tell him how proud she is.
Persona 4 Prince of Persia inspired au
Chapter Summary: Prince Yosuke takes the step to be accepted by his Kanet and become a Prince of Sumaru.
Word Count: 1328
Rating: Gen
The instant he steps into the room, the tugging on his soul rips away another piece, and he screams into the dark, falling to his knees. The robe suddenly feels heavy, holding him down, digging into his skin. The peace and content from the oil is suddenly far away, and the smell—
Even the smell is gone.
He blinks against the light as it forms, the eerie blue of a soul candle, for however dim it is it is still quite the change after an unknown period of time straining his eyes against complete blackness. And at first, he thinks that his regained vision is playing tricks, for the shadows seem to be moving. It takes a little while to realize, with another gulp, that this is not true. The shadows really are moving, running from the light to a corner, joining together into a shape.
The fear is natural, he reminds himself, if unnecessary, because he is a Prince of Sumaru and they walk the shadows with no fear. Neither the Kanet nor Yami will harm him.
The shadow forms into a human, and then—
That’s something that they don’t mention in the stories, Yosuke thinks with a gulp as he looks at an exact replica of himself. Of course, they probably cannot, given that they aren’t allowed to talk about the ritual, but still, much can be communicated in metaphor!
It smirks at him, eyes glowing yellow. It seems completely in its element, casual and confident where he’s uncomfortable and scared, but then, it would be. This is its home. You must not deny it, no matter what it says. You must be aware of your own faults, for the Midnight King will use these as weapons against you. That had been a straightforward instruction, if a little ominous.
“I—you’re a Kanet, right? It is my honor to meet you.”
“I’m sure it is.” There’s an echo in its voice, an echo that someone else—no, probably best to be honest here even with himself. An echo that he’d call sinister, that scares him a little even as he knows it is not his enemy. “After all, you’d have died of apathy long ago if it wasn’t for crap like this, right, Prince?”
He frowns, confused. The tone is hostile, but—surely he has yet to do anything to displease Yami or the Kanet, right? Maybe he should have paid more attention to religious rules, after all—
“Oh, I don’t know why you’d think a little thing like keeping Sumaru’s patron goddess happy would be important for a Prince to learn,” the Kanet reads his mind and responds effortlessly.
“I…I apologize that I have offended, but I am willing to act to make amends,” he begins, and a snarl appears on the Kanet’s face.
“You’re just trying to escape punishment! You can’t fool me for a second that this is about your people at all. This is one hundred percent selfish.”
And he forgets himself, that he’s not supposed to deny it. Because true, he’s terrified of punishment, of being the only one to fail, and all will know the failure of the Prince of Sumaru Yosuke. Would they strike his name from the record, or simply speak of him in disappointed tones, of the pathetic status of the only unworthy Prince. But the rulers and the land are one, and if he has offended, then it’s not merely him that suffers. “You’re wrong! The Shiraishi Lady and Rumormongers and Bards don’t deserve to pay for my sins!”
“You only help them out because you’re bored,” the Kanet sneers, and Yosuke crosses his arms. “You don’t actually care about them. You just feel a little less lonely, a little less empty, when people are around, even though nothing really changes.”
“So?” It’s an uncomfortable thing to admit, true, but better than being devoured by the dark, down here. “There are an endless number of things I could possibly do to stave off boredom, and yet I decide to help others. And it’s true.” He bites it out, tears of humiliation or maybe pain beginning to gather in his eyes. “I feel as if I am nothing, deserve nothing, but at least in helping others I have a purpose.”
The Kanet is taken aback, though he thinks he might’ve seen a small smile before he continues, “You do that because you want the recognition, not for any good that may come of it.”
“Can’t it be both?” he shoots back, aware that yes, this is still an accurate assessment, but. He is the Queen’s son, and they have all heard the phrase Always think positive enough that it resides beside the memorized ritual phrases in their hearts. “I do show off, yes. But—I want others to share my happiness. People don’t go to the bards to sing their songs, not in the capital, but no one deserves a life without music, so I pass it along, make sure their words and melodies are remembered. When the beautiful maiden or handsome fellow is looking down, I try to cheer them up, even if the only way for me to do so is to act the fool. Perhaps it is a blow to my pride, but it’s worth it, even to see a tearful smile. Sometimes the people need a reminder to lend each other a hand, and I can serve as one. Anyone—” and he suddenly gulps, because this is his true insecurity, isn’t it? and yet, he can’t back down—“…anyone could do as I do. I do want renown, a reminder that though without the princely titles I am as special as a grain of sand, but in the end…” He forces himself to breathe, tries not to let the tears fall, “…in the end, if I can ease the burdens of my people, if I can provide for them, cherish them, make them understand that without them, there is no kingdom worth having, then I have done something worthwhile. I am terrible at my lessons, my mind always wandering. I cannot be the hero in stories. I love Sumaru, and yet, I remain restless, and as you said, bored. I cannot be the warrior Princess Yukiko is. I cannot be the firstborn Prince Akihiko is. And while I am popular, I cannot light a candle to the love all have for Prince Kumarou. My climbing and singing can do nothing but amuse. But…” His hands shake. He forces them to stop. Lacking though he might be, he is a Prince of the Sumaru, and he cannot, will not, act otherwise. “…I can be as I am.”
He starts slightly as a cool hand gently wipes away his tears. “That is all we can do, Prince. An act need not be selfish or selfless. It may just be, and is worth no less when it touches one life rather than many.”
The smile is friendly, now. “You may now refer to me as Jirai. I am your Kanet, and pledge to serve you well. Now let’s get back to the real world. I wanna actually taste that bowl of ramen you mentioned.”
Yosuke throws his head back and laughs. “I have the feeling you may be waiting for a while. There’s still the ritual feast once we return.”
“Pity.” He’s not sure if the word is whispered or spoken directly into his mind as the Kanet hugs him and then all at once slips beneath his skin, into his mind, slotting into his soul once more. No Spirit Guide reappears to take him from this dark chamber, even as the soul candle winks out, but it’s fine. With the Kanet’s sight overlaid atop his own, he can see the glowing blue trails leading back, can see perfectly in the darkness. He can’t wait to see the Queen, always so busy with affairs of state, and hear her tell him how proud she is.
