No Legends Today

[madimpossibledreamer]

Cast of Characters: Miyamoto Suna (Xander), Matriarch of the Miyamoto-gumi, a Direct Family of the Amaya-kai
Miyamoto Cordelia (Cordy), Cordy-kun, as herself (and married to Suna as her 'husband'), Ani-san of the Miyamoto-gumi
Akiyama Yoko (Willow), Matriarch of the Akiyama-gumi, a Direct Family of the Amaya-kai
Natsukawa Renyo (Buffy), Chairwoman of the Amaya-kai
Kabuto Seara (Michael Czajak), Healer of the Miyamoto-gumi
Author's Notes:  In this universe, Japan is a matriarchy.  As such, -kun is used the same way -chan is in real life (in this case, an affectionate, informal way to refer to Cordy).  Also, same-sex marriages are okay if one of the couple acts as the traditional (meek, subservient) husband.  These two kind of toe the line there but they make it work.
It'll just be a short funny drabble, I said.  Here we are.
It is so very Japanese to be like 'I'll shoot you or stab you as a gangster but at least I'll be polite and wear a mask so as not to get you sick'.  Seriously, the number of yakuza you fight in RGG games wearing masks > 0.
Somehow a parallel to the Thanksgiving episode popped in.  Honestly, both Cordy and Anya seem like the types to threaten to sit on someone.  (not like it happened in the episode, but if he'd been a little more insisting about it, I could totally see it.)  Also funny: Usual Xander: "I'm tired being the universe's butt-monkey!"  Miyamoto: "Ah, a Tuesday.  It can't be helped."
more background notes

Main Points:
Buffy/Yakuza AU (Bloody Petals)
Chapter Summary: Cordy insists Miyamoto isn't working today.
Word Count: 905
Rating: Teen
Warnings: This is a sickfic.  Also, lots of swearing for this one.  And one innuendo.

        “No.”  Miyamoto blinks, bleary-eyed, as Cordy-kun plants herself firmly in front of the door.  “You are getting your ass back in bed.”
        It’s a surprise, if a nice one, when her husband gets all blunt and crass on her.  Pity she ain’t in the right state of mind to appreciate it.
        “I heard about the raid of ’01.  You are not doing that again.”
        Suna cackles, because that was a load of fun.  Not that she remembers half of it.  She’d been delirious and apparently the fever got high enough it woulda killed her if she hadn’t invoked somewhere during the whole process, but she vaguely remembers the best fights of her life and feeling on top of the world.  That party’s still spoken of in astonished whispers by some of the new recruits, the story quickly passing into the stuff of legend—rightfully, too. 
        And then she starts coughing, because her throat can’t handle the usual haiena laugh.  When she straightens, Cordy-kun’s glaring.  Whoops. 
        “I was high off my ass on cough syrup and painkillers?” she offers.  Honestly, she’d probably taken more than she’d meant to, but she’d already been a bit out of it and no one had dared to try to stop her.  The healer at the time had been a bit of a timid type, so it’d been easy to bowl over any objections with one clean strike.  That being said, it’s a weak excuse and she knows it.
        Cordy-kun’s expression doesn’t change.  “If you don’t sit down, I will sit on you.  You’ve got a good family, and I’ve already told them to delegate.”
        This time, Suna does her best to just crack a smile, rather than laugh and hack up another storm.  “Ya sure that’s a threat?”
        It takes Cordy a few seconds to realize she’s being flirted with, at which point she huffs and looks incredulous.  “Are you even taking me seriously?”
        Miyamoto settles back into the pillows, which, after all, feel pretty comfortable.  She hadn’t been looking forward too well to hauling herself out of that nice warm cocoon, but she’d worn a mask yesterday, and the day before.  Figures the instant Cordy-kun got back from her trip she’d instantly be to fussing—and don’t get Suna wrong, as annoying as it is, there’s this little ball of warmth inside her chest that someone would care enough for all these demands.  “Yeah, yeah, I ain’t goin’ am I?” she mutters, but that’s not near enough.  She gotta remember Cordy-kun’s little insecurities.  “It’s a curse, actually.”
        She’d been mentioning it to put Cordy at ease, but it seems to have had the opposite effect.  Then again, given her history, maybe that’s to be expected.  She quickly comes over to sit on the side of her bed, reaching out to take Suna’s hand, which feels nice.  “A curse?  Are you—are you going to be all right?”
        Might as well fill her in on the general details, even if she can’t get into the specifics.  “Yeah, we deal with that kinda thing all the time.  Heavily invested in the black market, that sorta thing, ya know?  Akiyama’s workin’ on defangin’ the curse right now, an’ when she’s got it wrassled I’ll be right as rain.”  She looks a little less worried now, a little more tender.  That thumb drawing circles on the back of her hand’s soothing, though it’s putting her to sleep.  “Worst bit is, we’re pretty sure it was targeted, specifically at the Chairwoman.  Though maybe that’s a silver linin’ in itself.  It wasn’t supposed to be me, so a little impatient, rude curiosity mighta saved her.”  And only put Suna in a little pain, for now, and she’d already decided she’d undergo most every pain for Natsukawa-sama.  Only dyin’ fer her had become a complicated issue after marriage.
        Cordy-kun purses her lips, but it’s pretty clear she’s thinking.  “I’m glad Natsukawa-sama is fine,” she says eventually.  “Do you think I could maybe help?”  With her aura-control powers goes unsaid.
        Suna yawns and curls a little toward her husband.  “Mebbe, but I dunno all that much about this shit.  Get Kabuto-kun if ya plan on tryin’ anything.  Least she can keep an eye on things, stop ya if it seems like it’s gonna attach to ya instead.”  She really wants to drift off here and now, but she’s gotta finish saying her piece first.  “An’ I gotta at least appear functional an’ make an appearance today, even if I still feel like hell.  Specially if my gals manage ta catch the punk that did this.”
        She’d spell it out, but Cordy-kun’s been itching for chances to prove she’s really learned something, so instead she waits.
        “Because if it’s Clan politics or something, you have to show them they failed, even if you weren’t even the intended target?” she asks, letting out a surprised gasp as Suna pulls her into a hug.
        “See?  Yer a natural at all this.”  Maybe the source of such familiarity might not be a good thing, but hey, if the lady wants to be a King Suna will damn well melt her a crown.  “But ya got a point, a few hour’s rest’ll help me pull that off.  An’ as fer the rest, don’t strain yerself.  Love ya.”
        “I love you too.  Sleep well and feel better.”  She starts running her fingers through Miyamoto’s hair, and Suna’s consciousness fades into happy warmth again.