Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Omake 6

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: Turn the page.  Fitz's story.
Word Count: 1700
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS

           Fitz’s past is a story he tries not to tell himself.  He loves stories, the ones his mother told him, the ones contained in the pages of his books.  He doesn’t love the one that tells of the mess he became after the death of his mother.
           He runs from the reminders, tries to force himself back into the suit of the well-mannered bookworm, only to find that it doesn’t fit him anymore.  Not like it did.  And there’s very little more gauche than an ill-fitted suit.  But they just keep coming.  The tattoo he’d gotten to fit in, to prove he belonged.  The desperate way he clings to Johan, trying to pretend he’d belonged in one of his mum’s stories all along and never gave up on the idea.  How good he is at violence, how natural it feels.
           He feels like a fraud, like any moment Jojo’s going to tear off that suit and find the gang member he’d been underneath.  It’s a ridiculous worry, but apparently it’s the time to be ridiculous.  Johan had done everything right, something Fitz would never have expected before coming to terms with the complexity of his newfound friend.  Every time he’s learned of something new, he doesn’t treat it like some big, terrible secret.  He acknowledges, nonverbally, that he recognizes it’s important, that he’s honored by the trust, but then continues like nothing’s changed.  Because nothing has, for him.  He…expects that kind of thing, Fitz realizes, and isn’t sure if that’s healthy or not.  Surely things like his previous life of crime should change how you see a person?  But then, the blond reflects, he had kidnapped the man “for his own good” on their second meeting, so perhaps his past wasn’t such a surprising thing after all?  And perhaps it had something to do with some of the stories Xander had told in return that he’s starting to suspect weren’t such fabrication after all, though Jojo freely admits he hadn’t always been so good about taking secrets in stride.
           Part of the understanding might be the similarity in terms of their situations.  They’re both dealing with integrating who they were with who they are.  Xander acts like he’s fine, that there’s nothing new or difficult or hard about being Johan, too, but he has to be doing the same thing—okay, not the same thing, because Jojo doesn’t seem completely ashamed of his past, though there are some things he pointedly doesn’t say and other things that he glosses over or makes a joke about, but they’re both acting like everything’s fine, like as long as they don’t think about it, no problem exists.  He doesn’t seem like he even notices, but he’ll sometimes talk about himself, in the stories, as someone who doesn’t deserve anything.  His adaptability is clearly a strength, but he sees it as a weakness, as a lack of stable identity.  Sees himself as a magpie, a chameleon, stealing things that aren’t his and shouldn’t be.  He’s scared of meeting the other Joestars, scared of their reactions, no matter how he’s overlooking the very simple fact that out of everyone, his compassion and empathy manifested in his Stand, uniquely positioning him to understand exactly how someone else is feeling.
           Fitz understands that feeling that they don’t belong, that they’re putting on a front.  But then, listening to Johan patiently explaining a few things to Darling’s eager questions, maybe they’re not the only ones.  She’s found her confidence after that fight in the bathroom she’d barely explained, but family looms over her, too.  He’s not sure what ‘horrible’ entails, and has an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach at the fact Xander seemed to understand, better than he had, but even then, it’s surely a case of being afraid you can’t float above the cesspool you called home, correct?  Captain Beefheart, trying to reconcile the damage her beloved grandfathers did with her love and idolation.  Perhaps even Robin, though thinking about it, he’s the one who’s said the absolute least about his past, to Fitz, anyway, so he doesn’t have quite the information to make the connection.
           It’s not exactly the same for any of them, but…even then, the thought makes him feel not quite as alone.  He has his own issues with family.  His beloved mother was dead, killed by an unknown Stand User.  He’d been in the house, and though it was probable a twelve-year old with a non-combat oriented Stand would merely have died as well, it’s hard to convince his own mind of that truth.  His father had abandoned them.  Perhaps not directly to the killer, but mum and “Aunt Josie” had been on the run from something, and he’d clearly followed them to this world, since he’d been able to use Incognito on “Aunt Josie”.  Perhaps he wasn’t really involved.  Perhaps he was just…who knows, a coward.  Perhaps he’d even been trying to help, in his own way.  But he…doesn’t want to believe that’s true.
           Heavens.  That makes him a terrible person, doesn’t it?  Deeply, desperately desiring his own father to be a sociopath and serial killer, just so I won’t have to deal with the complexity.  Because that’s what it is, in the end, isn’t it?  His father has to be evil, because if not—
           If not, why did he abandon them?  Why didn’t he save them?  Why did he attack Josephine with his Stand?
           Certainly Aunt Mel didn’t approve of him.  Mum tried not to talk about it, when others didn’t like his father, but she couldn’t do anything about Aunt Mel.  Of course, she wasn’t exactly happy about them living there, either—they certainly were a drain on her funds, even if Mum got a job.  And she was really peeved when he’d gotten arrested, because she thought it’d prevent him from obtaining employment.  It hadn’t, of course, but it had been a concern.
           And Grace.  He couldn’t mourn her, not properly, because he was so caught up in the need to not think about the past, he hadn’t let himself think about her.  Hadn’t let himself grieve.  He wouldn’t even be here, if not for their promise, that if either of them died, the other would get out of the ‘business’.  He’d very nearly ignored his promise anyway and sought revenge, but it was only the thought of Grace’s disapproval that stopped him.  For a girl that hadn’t hesitated to stab in self-defense, unfortunately required on a more regular basis than he’d like, given their affiliation, she’d always been the more kind-hearted of the two of them. 
           They always talked about the bad boys drawing good girls into a life of crime, but for him, it was the good girl drawing him in.  He’d found her, nearly too late, missed the bloke lurking with the knife and been stabbed himself.  LJ only had healing, then, and he’d nearly killed himself trying to heal her.  They’d worried about revenge, and it wasn’t an unwarranted fear.  He’d wanted it almost more than life itself.
           Maybe that’s why she made him promise.  He hadn’t thought twice about agreeing to it, back when it seemed a ridiculous worry, and by the time it came true…well, he’d already made a promise that mattered more than his own life.  And, of course, he’d nearly died, himself.  The authorities viewed his determination with suspicion at first, but when he’d never even wavered, they’d eventually relaxed their distrust and surveillance.
           He hadn’t been living for himself, though, a hollow shell.  He hadn’t even paid Xander much attention, dismissing him as an uneducated American (putting on airs himself, really, desperately trying to distance himself from the ‘lower classes’) until the second that name came from his lips.  Suddenly, fairy tales were within reach, all those ridiculous things he’d dreamed of, and all he’d wanted as a child was within reach.  He’d talked to contacts he’d made and never spoken to again, not until he needed, suddenly, to understand everything about Xander Harris.  No wonder he’d had so much trouble accepting who he was, when he couldn’t even make up his mind whether to snipe at Jojo or worship the ground at his feet.  All that misdirected anger was toward himself.
           Someday, perhaps, this will be a story, but not yet.  Now, he should live as Grace would have actually wanted for him.  Friends, Jojo, a purpose, an open mind.  Darling’s quest for answers is no more a distraction than his own.  Perhaps his father isn’t the villain as written, but the blond will certainly be getting the explanations he seeks from the man, one way or the other.  And in the meantime, he can try not to cling quite so much to the one friend he’s made, through no effort of his own (Jojo would have been well within his rights to just walk away, and yet he had not; perhaps he was just as eager for companionship, lost and uncertain) and even learn to appreciate the others on their own merits.  Make more friends.  Not fear himself, but perhaps, somewhere between Johan’s partner in crime and the teenage criminal Grace loved, perhaps somewhere in the union of the two there’s a good man.
           “Seriously, Fitz, you okay?”  Even Darling appears a little concerned.
           “Sometimes people do this thing called thinking,” he counters, grateful that rather than looking hurt Jojo snorts and continuing seriously.  He wants to show the same acceptance for Jojo’s past, that his value didn’t just come from his Stand.  “Seriously, Xander, I’m fine, now.  It’s possible Sarde isn’t murderous, but I’m having trouble coming up with an alternate explanation, and it’s probably better to be prepared for a murder attempt, just in case.”
           Jojo gasps, quiet but no less shocked.  Too shocked for more than a small smile tugging at the edges of the surprised expression.  From the overwhelmed expression, he understands the import of it all, Fitz’s deliberate use of his old name, the setting aside of the need for revenge.  Good, he’d hate to have to repeat himself.  Though perhaps he’ll have to retire, once and for all, the misconception about Johan’s literary tendencies.  That was a masterful reading.