madimpossibledreamer

Headcanon: Buffy might not quite be on "watch a few moves and memorize it" Kiryu and Majima level, but she is pretty close. Like, she put a single point less in the skill.

Main Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: Consequences.
Word Count: 1183
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS

           “Hey, I thought you said no brooding was allowed,” Buffy teases softly, elbowing Josephine in the side, and she starts and then laughs. No matter how tempted she was, Buffy didn’t actually drop any eaves, just went and returned her borrowed item to the nice sailor demon and accepted a single drink and the toast to her, the Slayer of the Siphon (it’s weird, but she thinks they’re not the only demons that are going to be singing her praises which will be even more weird and awkward). No matter how easy it would be with Slayer healing.
           But from Josephine’s uncharacteristically subdued mood, she guesses something went wrong. And she’s not going to interrogate, at least not directly, but she’s totally going to bug Xander’s mom until something comes out. “Yeah, yeah, okay, I’m not one of those ‘do as I say and not as I do’ moms. Though I’m more…worried than angsting.” The width of three heartbeats, and Josephine exhales slowly. “Hell. I’m a mom.”
           Buffy raises an eyebrow. “Uh. Yes?”
           “I think I was maybe a little in shock? I mean, how would you feel if you suddenly woke up twenty years later except it’s also in the past and you suddenly had a grown kid your age before you woke up? Honestly, I think I’m handling it pretty well.” She still seems in shock. And also older. But she seems like she’s doing better. She’d just been ignoring reality because pretending it didn’t exist would make it go away. Hmm. Maybe that’s where Xander gets it from.
           “I mean, I learned that apparently my sister wasn’t actually my sister only she was, and she definitely didn’t exist for my entire childhood, and I made her feel…” Buffy swallows, trying to find the right word. “Unwanted. Except that’s totally an understatement that we’re not gonna talk about. So, for the record, for things that are entirely not your fault, Xander’s easy to please. Or Johan. Whatever you wanna call him. He’s like a little puppy. Be a little nice to him and next thing you know he’ll be doing tricks for your attention.” She wouldn’t dare say any of this except she can feel there’s nobody too close, as much space as they can get in the secondary headquarters that Buffy’s half convinced was supposed to be a nuclear bunker or something. Not just Slayer senses. She can feel the life all around, pinpointed to bright sparks of what feels like light. She’s not sure she wants to know what the First Slayer would say about the gift of the Slayer suddenly being the gift of Death and Life.
           From that look, Josephine knows exactly what she’s doing, but she lets it slide. “You said it. He’s a total show-off.”
           The present tense, at least, says it’s not as bad as it could be. Buffy snorts. “What’s he done now?”
           The redhead shrugs. “You’ve probably noticed the eldritch abominations beyond B3’s gates.”
           It strikes Buffy that this casual tone should not sound normal. Maybe she never really had a chance at normal, if normal left her so confused and bored. “Yeah, so?”
           “So, Xander decided that the best thing to do would be to become an eldritch abomination himself, during the whole thing with the statues.” She fidgets slightly.
           Nope, that’s not really surprising either. The only thing that is surprising, really, is: “Uh. How?”
           “Along with hamon and dreamwalking, his Stand also copies powers. Like giant eldritch statues.” Yeah. She doesn’t do much more than blink at that. Maybe she’s getting a little jaded about all the bizarre things that happen in her life. Worse, she half feels like she missed it, because things have been odd since they left the Hellmouths. Cleveland had been closed but at least they had the occasional near-apocalypse and hauntings and UFO sightings. How do people live normal lives? Going to shop without running into a vampire or two or some demon spouting threats is weird and antsy-making.
           “Huh.” She’s definitely going to tease him about that later. He will never live it down. “It’s dealt with, though, right?”
           “I mean, he nearly got stuck or died. I’m not sure, and it’s not like he’s going to tell me. He’s getting used to the glorious burden and terrible privilege of being a Joestar, and I’m not sure whether to be really proud or freak out.” Fair enough…but also if they got upset about every single little near-death experience in their lives, they’d probably never not freak out again.
           “I mean, you could multitask?” the Slayer suggests, and Mrs. (Miss? Did they miss a divorce in there somewhere?) Joestar smiles. That smile is also familiar. Emphasis on the famili.
           “Yeah, probably. I am pretty good at that. And I’m still trying to figure out how to mourn a friend, so…you know how that goes.” Buffy w-i-s-h-e-s she didn’t. Also, Buffy should stop thinking about Buffy in the third person.
           “We’re doing a whole lot of that. Also repressing. Though the Ripple thing will come in real handy stopping any more of that from happening. In the near future, anyway.” She’s taking to it like a duck to water, and it would’ve been really nice to have it back when she was in high school. Then again, maybe not having it back then is exactly what stopped her from making Severin’s mistake. Not the one that has to do with him becoming a Big Bad, the one where he relied too much on his power and not enough on being flexible in a fight.
           “You know it doesn’t make you immortal, right?” Josephine actually looks worried about that.
           “The Siphon wasn’t. What makes you think I’d make that mistake?” She shrugs. “It’s just like jiu jitsu and aikido. It’s a martial art, which means training. I’m a quick study, but not everyone is.” She’d had to remind everyone in her quick call to all active Watchers, because there are still fewer Watchers and therefore fewer calls to make. Her call to Dawn (she’s still annoyed her little sis went around her back to become a Watcher, though it’s not like she doesn’t get it, what with the whole protective older sister thing that she has no idea who that could possibly be) was pretty representative of how the rest of them went.
           “No, it doesn’t make you invincible. Kung Fu Master and Student alike still need to breathe. Tell your Slayers not to get cocky.”
           “Andrew has his work cut out for him.”
           “I’m still mad. I mean, it’s post-Keyboot, but the Watchers knew about this handy little martial art called Sendo and didn’t bother to see if any of their Slayers could use it.”
           “…Did you just shorten ‘Key reboot’?”
           “It’s catchier, isn’t it?”
           “Bye, Buffy.” She can hear the amusement in Dawn’s voice right before the dial tone.
           “You realize I never formally learned this stuff, right?” Miss Joestar complains, but she holds out a hand to pull Buffy to her feet. “Okay, first things first, you know the importance of breath, right?”