Juggling Ridiculous

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Buffy/Devil May Cry
Chapter Summary: Buffy tries not to give too much away to Officer Morris.
Word Count: 1234
Rating: Teen

          “So, I hear you’re good in a fight.  I wouldn’t mind learning a thing or two.  Guys just don’t appreciate how difficult it is fighting in a dress,” Buffy tells Lorraine, who chuckles.
          “Xander did.  First time we met, I was dealing with a handsy customer, and he complimented me on my form.  It took me a minute to realize he was talking about how I fought, not how I looked in the dress.”  She takes off the gloves, which look like they’ve been ruined with blood.
          “Clueless idiot probably didn’t even realize what he’d said.”  That, or he did, and he genuinely meant it as a compliment, not a come-on.
          Gabriel shrugs expansively, sweeping the glass behind the bar.  “Some things, he knows how to do.  Everything else is one big mystery.”
          “Excuse me.  Could someone please give a statement now?” Morris interrupts, annoyed.
          “Sorry, sorry, Officer.”  Lorraine’s smile hasn’t faltered.  No wonder she’s in customer service.  “I’m not sure how much more we can add, but we can go over it again.  There were six of them, four male and two female.  Two of them came in as, presumably a couple, although who they thought they were fooling wearing those Goodwill Buddhist robes I don’t really know.  They were wearing shoes the whole time, though I don’t know if that’s unusual.  I assume they were the scouts, and when they determined we didn’t have the Dowells just within easy grabbing distance and weren’t going to bring them out anytime soon, their friends came in, and the woman in here threw a table through the window.  It practically shattered on impact.”
          “We’d tried to call before, but no one picked up,” Gabriel says, and whoops, she’d wondered about that.
          “I was probably taking a shower.”  Buffy definitely feels a little sheepish about that one.  “He’s finally gotten the hot water working at the office again.”
          “I hear you, girl,” Lorraine agrees wholeheartedly, and Gabriel just snorts.  “Anyway, most of the other patrons got out, we tried to throw out our bad guests, and they seemed to think we were keeping the momma and her kiddo in the office because they kept trying to get back there, not realizing that nobody invades Gabriel’s territory, except for maybe Thalia.  They cleared out when they realized we had some security measures they hadn’t scoped out.”  The server exchanges a meaningful look with Buffy, who suddenly has an ‘aha’ moment.
          The place isn’t protected against demons or devils, or Xander wouldn’t be able to walk in the door.  That doesn’t stop them from having used protective measures on the office itself.  (Ironically, the hidden room also isn’t protected, unless there’s a way to add exceptions, because Xander had waltzed right in there, too.)
          “What about the owner, Thalia Castille?” Morris asks, glancing at his notes.
          “You could speak with her, but she doesn’t know anything.  She’s still visiting her folks in New Orleans.”  He pronounces that oddly.  Huh.
          Morris tries to get a description of the perps that isn’t “Well, the lady’s suddenly a lot less pretty, considering I broke her nose”, and Gabriel makes a motion that could be just setting the broom down but is probably a ‘come over here’ gesture.
          “Three types I noticed—all the guys were the same, the gals were both different.  One of the gals hid and took off after Sullivan’s vehicle, just keeping an eye on it I think.”  He whispers as much as he can with his baritone voice.
          In the end, the descriptions he gets are pretty much useless, since they sound pretty nondescript.  The robes are probably their standout feature.  Unfortunately, Morris seems to take that as some kind of personal failure, because he’s glowery the whole time they get into the car.
          “So you have no idea why you look familiar?” he asks again suddenly.  She sees his type—the ambush questioner, who’ll ask questions out of the blue in the hopes it’ll catch someone off guard and get them to blurt out something.
          “Well, we did just do a case for the Wellingtons, and I was out shopping with Elaine a couple times recently.  They were even going to run a tabloid story before Tristan reminded them that he could bury them for libel on my behalf.”  His face instantly sours—one of those people who think the upper class are soulless, huh—but his face does clear up.
          He doesn’t even bother with tact for the next question.  “So, you and this Davis guy?”
          That almost isn’t even worth answering, except disdain is better in this case.  “No.  And with an attitude like that, not you either, ever.  Should I jump out?”  She probably could jump out of a moving vehicle if she had to.
“No!  It’s just…showering at your place of work…”  He sounds very sheepish, now.  Good, he deserves to feel bad.
          “I bet you’ve showered at the precinct,” she guesses, because L.A. definitely had some showers, if the wet hair on a sunny day when they’d brought her in about the gym was any indication.
          He doesn’t speak again for the rest of the ride, wallowing in his false assumptions.  Good.
          “Morris!” a different police officer calls, and a look of relief kind of flashes over his face and he mutters something like “sorrygottago”, not glancing in her or Xander’s direction before grabbing the keys and hightailing it out of there.  Buffy hides a smile.  He’ll remember that one.  Though she’s got her next weird conversation waiting for her.
          “Squirrels,” Buffy repeats flatly as she unbuckles.  Xander was leaning against the vehicle and had almost opened the door before they even stopped.  He still had the sword on his back.  Nobody else seems to have noticed, but then, she’s looking for it.
          He nods.  “Demon squirrels, and a Squirrel Queen.  Made Mirkwood look like a cakewalk.”
          “I really need to get a new sense of normalcy,” Alisha decides, joining them.  She’s giving Xander a very concerned look.  Buffy would’ve gotten out sooner, except the devildork is kind of blocking the door, complete with limpet child that doesn’t seem to want to let go of his hand.  And is also giving him concerned looks.  What the hell happened on the ride over?  It’s not the kind of expression that says they’re afraid of him, more…afraid for him.  “And I told you to stop tormenting my partner, Jenny,” she adds, staring after him.  “What did you say to him?”
          Jane trails behind, watching the whole thing like she’s suddenly awoken in the middle of the circus tent and doesn’t know whether she’s a customer or part of the act.
          “Oh, he was rude about my new shopping best friend and suggested the only reason I have a job is because my partner likes my looks.”  She’d think about being more blunt, but there is a kid there.
          Xander outright snarls.  “Good on you, Buff.”
          “He really has to get used to the community in this town,” Alisha sighs.
          “People shouldn’t be rude,” the kid states sternly, and Xander actually chuckles.
          “And on that note, we’re keeping your mom and ice cream waiting.  Shall we?”  He bows, gesturing toward the door, the kid giggles, and Buffy can’t help herself.
          “Thank you, m’lord, but I think the princess gets to go first.”  She even air-curtseys, and if nothing else the daughter is loving them.