Echoes of Pain
Sep. 7th, 2020 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madimpossibledreamerSo, uh, the reference to last man’s dead was entirely out of the blue but I’m keeping it? and it turns out that even a Xander given powers does not stop being the butt-monkey. (I like that I’m actually following up on it naturally, but also, I cannot decide if my fic blindsiding me is the best or the worst.)
I didn’t think about the Ari|Ali thing (Alisha) but I’m keeping it because the parents wouldn’t have gone for one of the Leo-options and I like the lioness thing.
Main Points:
Buffy/Devil May Cry
Chapter Summary: The client explains how her husband went from average lawyer to cult leader, and how she started to break free of the conditioning.
Word Count: 1524
Rating: Teen
Warning: Not explicit, but there's a reference to Xander's PTSD from Last Man's Dead (lingering effects of sexual assault)
“There’s a very good reason for that. She’s new, but no less capable.” It’s a mild rebuke for all the annoyance on her behalf he’d felt at her being dismissed so casually like that—even if it’s not like he doesn’t understand why. He understands the desire to protect herself and her child, but the Slayer is great. For all he knows, it’s possible he would’ve died without her; he’s not sure how much damage he can take (not that he’s planning on testing that, Will, thanks, have a little faith), and as a person she’s also pretty cool. “Oh, and you can speak freely in front of Sullivan; she’s aware of the supernatural, too.”
He doesn’t miss the thankful look Alisha gives, even if he isn’t looking at her.
She hesitates, but gives in. “My name is Jane Dowell, and this is my daughter.” She gives the girl a pointed look, and it takes her a few moments before she realizes she’s supposed to talk.
“Arianna. I’m supposed to go by Anna, but I like Ari better,” she confides.
“I think Ari means lion in…something,” Xander offers, because he really doesn’t want to be drawn into the middle of a mother-daughter argument—though if it’s up to him he’s a fan of letting anyone be called what they want, even if it’s something stupid like McCoolpants, and they own the consequences of their choice.
She seems happy about that, bouncing a little in the seat. “I like lions. Lion King is my favorite movie. Do you like Lion King?”
Xander’s brain stumbles a little about that. He’s watched Lion King, he knows. Willow’s idea, shortly before the change. He’d even humored Willow when they were ‘going out’, playing the prince to her Sleeping Beauty, but he remembers more of the pretend fighting against thorns and grasshoppers than he does of the actual movie. It’s easy to think he’s always been this way, that nothing has changed, but he doesn’t think of the past much, and when he’s forced to…he wasn’t kidding when he told Buffy it felt like a foreign country. He has references and wields them freely, but the only things that are ‘fresh’ are ones after he’d moved into the hotel and gotten the TV working. “I like it, but I haven’t seen it in a while,” he finally answers. It feels like it’s been five minutes, but in reality it’s only been a second or two, based on the girl’s reaction. She hums in response, as if that’s an acceptable answer, and he internally breathes a sigh of relief.
“My daddy isn’t a nice man. He’s like Scar. He wants to control the entire kingdom,” Ari confides in a stage whisper.
He knows she doesn’t notice, but he certainly does—the piercing bite of a stare wishing him dead. There are a lot of people in robes around. Luckily, none of them make a move, and mentally (just in case they have a way of detecting that), he thinks really hard, back the hell off; they’re under my protection now.
Jane takes up the story. “He was a good man when I met him. A lawyer. He was good at his job, popular with his coworkers. I’m not sure when it started—between having the baby and my own work at a charity I didn’t see everything. I know he started a bible group, at some point, but next thing I know he’s quitting his job and we’re moving out into the middle of nowhere. I have to drive to work, only suddenly he’s making a comment here and there about how maybe they aren’t as deserving as I think, and then there are people asking him for guidance and giving him everything they have.” She sighs. “It sounds insane when I say it out loud, but it didn’t feel that way at the time.”
“Humans like to look for something to believe in, something to make their lives easier. It’s a primal thing,” Alisha explains. “You shouldn’t feel any shame over that. Being smart has nothing to do with it.”
“What made you start to question?” Xander asks, feeling Ari’s small hand squeeze his own as if she’s trying to comfort him, which makes dread pool in his stomach. If it’s what he thinks it was, it’ll be the biggest test of his life to not just turn spiky right there in the car and probably ruin it.
“There was a moment he looked at Anna…” She swallows.
“Nothing happened, mommy,” Ari reassures, squeezing his hand more, and he forces himself to breathe, to think, to move.
“Did you ever feel unsafe?” he asks carefully, because the last thing he wants is to make her relive something, but at the same time if something did happen she needs counseling yesterday and this ‘daddy’ needs to be in a body bag.
She bites her lip, actually thinking about that. “Yes, but there wasn’t any touching. Sometimes he was just…he looked like a villain. Like Scar. Some of his friends looked like that too.”
“That is very good, Ari,” he tells her, keeping tight control of his voice and attempting to keep breathing naturally, and she must notice something because she grabs his other hand. If the seatbelt would let her he’s almost certain she’d try to give him a hug.
“Did someone touch you and make you feel unsafe?” she asks directly, and he catches a brief glimpse of—Alisha—horrified, mirror—oh so very human—
“Just. If you ever don’t feel safe, listen to yourself. Your brain is so much smarter than you realize. It can notice things you can’t directly say. And tell someone.” Something’s wrong with his voice. He knows that; he realizes it—there’s just nothing he can do about it right now. He really wants to watch B5 right now, or to sing his lungs out, or maybe stab the hell out of some demons, he’s not picky, but he’s trapped in a car with a concerned little girl instead. He pulls himself together with difficulty. “Promise me, kiddo.”
“I will!” she half sings. He knows she’s only humoring him, but people are motivated by all sorts of things. As long as she stays safe, that’s the important thing.
He takes quick refuge in business. “So, why come to me? I’d be happy to help, but human cults usually aren’t my area of expertise.”
It takes Jane a second to process that he’s asked a question. “Oh, uh. It was what I saw that made me take Anna and run. I saw two of the Sons come in covered in blood, and they changed from being monsters to, well. They looked human. They were saying something about eliminating one of the enemies of the Order.”
“The Order?” Alisha asks for clarification.
“The Order of the Eightfold Unity, to free us from the prison of our lives,” Jane repeats, as if by rote. It probably is.
“That would explain the messed up Buddhist aesthetic,” Xander muses. How’d they go from a Bible study group to Buddhism, though? That’s an interesting question. And it’s got its demons, too. Mara, he thinks they’re called? He’s never fought one before.
“You can protect us, and I’ll protect you from the bad feelings, okay?” Ari decides, and he can’t help but crack a smile at her determination.
“We do also have to go through the proper procedure,” Alisha reminds them as they park. “For appearances if nothing else.” She shoots him a we are going to talk look, which he tries to ignore because he really doesn’t feel like it.
“I appreciate that, Officer,” Jane acknowledges, and it sounds like the ice has thawed, at least a little.
“Come on, mister, let’s do that. Then you need to watch Lion King and eat ice cream,” Ari insists, dragging him out the door, and he can’t help the smile again.
“I’ve got a friend who keeps making cookies,” he confides, and gets a gleeful hop even as she determinedly keeps tugging on his hand.
I didn’t think about the Ari|Ali thing (Alisha) but I’m keeping it because the parents wouldn’t have gone for one of the Leo-options and I like the lioness thing.
Main Points:
Buffy/Devil May Cry
Chapter Summary: The client explains how her husband went from average lawyer to cult leader, and how she started to break free of the conditioning.
Word Count: 1524
Rating: Teen
Warning: Not explicit, but there's a reference to Xander's PTSD from Last Man's Dead (lingering effects of sexual assault)
The girl doesn’t let go of his hand, even when they’re getting into the car, so he shrugs to Alisha and climbs in the back, briefly increasing the ‘don’t pay attention to me’ aura just enough so he can carefully balance Kryvi leaning against his leg. He’d planned on keeping a respectful distance, seeing as the woman doesn’t feel comfortable with any strangers too close, which is a thing he can totally understand, but he also doesn’t have the heart to shrug off a little girl. Interestingly, she doesn’t seem to have realized what exactly he’d done, but she’s still more wary following his little trick. He can see her make the mental calculus of getting closer than she’d like to him or not being able to have her eye on him before she climbs in the backseat a little gingerly. The best he can do is to scooch forward, so he’s further away from the others. “I’m sorry about my reaction to your colleague,” the lady apologizes the second the car starts. “Garcia didn’t mention her.”
“There’s a very good reason for that. She’s new, but no less capable.” It’s a mild rebuke for all the annoyance on her behalf he’d felt at her being dismissed so casually like that—even if it’s not like he doesn’t understand why. He understands the desire to protect herself and her child, but the Slayer is great. For all he knows, it’s possible he would’ve died without her; he’s not sure how much damage he can take (not that he’s planning on testing that, Will, thanks, have a little faith), and as a person she’s also pretty cool. “Oh, and you can speak freely in front of Sullivan; she’s aware of the supernatural, too.”
He doesn’t miss the thankful look Alisha gives, even if he isn’t looking at her.
She hesitates, but gives in. “My name is Jane Dowell, and this is my daughter.” She gives the girl a pointed look, and it takes her a few moments before she realizes she’s supposed to talk.
“Arianna. I’m supposed to go by Anna, but I like Ari better,” she confides.
“I think Ari means lion in…something,” Xander offers, because he really doesn’t want to be drawn into the middle of a mother-daughter argument—though if it’s up to him he’s a fan of letting anyone be called what they want, even if it’s something stupid like McCoolpants, and they own the consequences of their choice.
She seems happy about that, bouncing a little in the seat. “I like lions. Lion King is my favorite movie. Do you like Lion King?”
Xander’s brain stumbles a little about that. He’s watched Lion King, he knows. Willow’s idea, shortly before the change. He’d even humored Willow when they were ‘going out’, playing the prince to her Sleeping Beauty, but he remembers more of the pretend fighting against thorns and grasshoppers than he does of the actual movie. It’s easy to think he’s always been this way, that nothing has changed, but he doesn’t think of the past much, and when he’s forced to…he wasn’t kidding when he told Buffy it felt like a foreign country. He has references and wields them freely, but the only things that are ‘fresh’ are ones after he’d moved into the hotel and gotten the TV working. “I like it, but I haven’t seen it in a while,” he finally answers. It feels like it’s been five minutes, but in reality it’s only been a second or two, based on the girl’s reaction. She hums in response, as if that’s an acceptable answer, and he internally breathes a sigh of relief.
“My daddy isn’t a nice man. He’s like Scar. He wants to control the entire kingdom,” Ari confides in a stage whisper.
He knows she doesn’t notice, but he certainly does—the piercing bite of a stare wishing him dead. There are a lot of people in robes around. Luckily, none of them make a move, and mentally (just in case they have a way of detecting that), he thinks really hard, back the hell off; they’re under my protection now.
Jane takes up the story. “He was a good man when I met him. A lawyer. He was good at his job, popular with his coworkers. I’m not sure when it started—between having the baby and my own work at a charity I didn’t see everything. I know he started a bible group, at some point, but next thing I know he’s quitting his job and we’re moving out into the middle of nowhere. I have to drive to work, only suddenly he’s making a comment here and there about how maybe they aren’t as deserving as I think, and then there are people asking him for guidance and giving him everything they have.” She sighs. “It sounds insane when I say it out loud, but it didn’t feel that way at the time.”
“Humans like to look for something to believe in, something to make their lives easier. It’s a primal thing,” Alisha explains. “You shouldn’t feel any shame over that. Being smart has nothing to do with it.”
“What made you start to question?” Xander asks, feeling Ari’s small hand squeeze his own as if she’s trying to comfort him, which makes dread pool in his stomach. If it’s what he thinks it was, it’ll be the biggest test of his life to not just turn spiky right there in the car and probably ruin it.
“There was a moment he looked at Anna…” She swallows.
“Nothing happened, mommy,” Ari reassures, squeezing his hand more, and he forces himself to breathe, to think, to move.
“Did you ever feel unsafe?” he asks carefully, because the last thing he wants is to make her relive something, but at the same time if something did happen she needs counseling yesterday and this ‘daddy’ needs to be in a body bag.
She bites her lip, actually thinking about that. “Yes, but there wasn’t any touching. Sometimes he was just…he looked like a villain. Like Scar. Some of his friends looked like that too.”
“That is very good, Ari,” he tells her, keeping tight control of his voice and attempting to keep breathing naturally, and she must notice something because she grabs his other hand. If the seatbelt would let her he’s almost certain she’d try to give him a hug.
“Did someone touch you and make you feel unsafe?” she asks directly, and he catches a brief glimpse of—Alisha—horrified, mirror—oh so very human—
“Just. If you ever don’t feel safe, listen to yourself. Your brain is so much smarter than you realize. It can notice things you can’t directly say. And tell someone.” Something’s wrong with his voice. He knows that; he realizes it—there’s just nothing he can do about it right now. He really wants to watch B5 right now, or to sing his lungs out, or maybe stab the hell out of some demons, he’s not picky, but he’s trapped in a car with a concerned little girl instead. He pulls himself together with difficulty. “Promise me, kiddo.”
“I will!” she half sings. He knows she’s only humoring him, but people are motivated by all sorts of things. As long as she stays safe, that’s the important thing.
He takes quick refuge in business. “So, why come to me? I’d be happy to help, but human cults usually aren’t my area of expertise.”
It takes Jane a second to process that he’s asked a question. “Oh, uh. It was what I saw that made me take Anna and run. I saw two of the Sons come in covered in blood, and they changed from being monsters to, well. They looked human. They were saying something about eliminating one of the enemies of the Order.”
“The Order?” Alisha asks for clarification.
“The Order of the Eightfold Unity, to free us from the prison of our lives,” Jane repeats, as if by rote. It probably is.
“That would explain the messed up Buddhist aesthetic,” Xander muses. How’d they go from a Bible study group to Buddhism, though? That’s an interesting question. And it’s got its demons, too. Mara, he thinks they’re called? He’s never fought one before.
“You can protect us, and I’ll protect you from the bad feelings, okay?” Ari decides, and he can’t help but crack a smile at her determination.
“We do also have to go through the proper procedure,” Alisha reminds them as they park. “For appearances if nothing else.” She shoots him a we are going to talk look, which he tries to ignore because he really doesn’t feel like it.
“I appreciate that, Officer,” Jane acknowledges, and it sounds like the ice has thawed, at least a little.
“Come on, mister, let’s do that. Then you need to watch Lion King and eat ice cream,” Ari insists, dragging him out the door, and he can’t help the smile again.
“I’ve got a friend who keeps making cookies,” he confides, and gets a gleeful hop even as she determinedly keeps tugging on his hand.
