Walker of Night Part 11

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Summary: a bunch of snippets of what happens when Spike loses his memory from after he died.  angel barely shows up in the end.  it's probably a spell but I never went that far into figuring it out.
Word Count: 1394
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Xander/Spike
Warnings: some internalized homophobia (Will), a bad word.

 

Will awoke next to a warm body.

A voice inside his head told him that this was probably something he should be concerned about, but he was warm and sleepy and didn’t much care.  His eyes drifted shut, and he marveled at how peaceful and contented he felt.

The body stirred, stretched, expanding rather like a cat and invading Will’s space but in a good way, and then a voice heavy with sleep mumbled, “Spike, I have to study.  Flattering, an’ all, but move.”

It took Will all of two seconds to process that that was, in fact, a male’s voice, and then he did as the man had requested, was standing across the room, in fact, breathing heavily, trying to tell himself that this was but a nightmare and he would awaken sooner or later.  He was no sinner, after all.  Perhaps not the highest of society, but not a sinner either.  At least they were both clothed.  So there was a little dignity to be scavenged from this situation after all.  True, he wouldn’t dare venture out onto the street like this, but…

The man sat up no less quickly, staring at him with eyes barely capable of staying open, rubbing at the mass of brown hair sticking every which way.  “What’s wrong?” he asked, the urgency of the question contradicted by the yawn that escaped his mouth.

Will tried to bring his breathing to an acceptable speed and asked, trying not to sound *too* rude about the situation, “Who are you, sir?”

The only reply was a long, unblinking stare.  At last, the man gulped, heavily, hurt plainly crossing his features, as he sighed and stood up.  “Alexander Harris.  Let’s go see a man about a vampire.”

He could think of no response to this, so wisely stayed silent.

 

They went downstairs, and then he saw an older man with glasses walking through a kitchen.  At least, he assumed it was so, though there were a few large rectangular items he couldn’t quite place.  None of them really appeared to be dressed for going out in the public.

“Ah, Xander.”  The man was English, as well.  Something to cling to in this world that didn’t make sense.  “I was just thinking about waking you.  I’ve already made breakfast, and you did say that you wanted the time to study.”

“Bigger problems than that, G-man,” his dark-haired companion stated solemnly, slumping onto a piece of furniture.  “Will, meet Giles.  Giles, meet Will.”

The man looked at Alexander with a frown, and then his eyes lit with a wary understanding.  He turned to William, but whatever he saw in the blue eyes disappointed him.  “Oh.  Oh dear.  When did this happen, exactly?”

The young man shrugged apathetically, and Will felt a shard of pain for the hurt that he was causing, although he didn’t know if there was any way he could fix it.  “I don’t know.  I just, woke up this morning and, poof.”

 

“No!  It’s not a simple yes-no question!  This is multiple choice here, Giles!” The young man was furious, and although it was bad manners Will couldn’t help but eavesdrop.  He had a feeling that they were arguing about him.

“You obviously have an exam on your mind, Xander…” Giles started to say, but he was interrupted.

“It’s not, ‘Oh, there’s something wrong with Spike, let’s fix him’.  Will has a say in this too.  I don’t…” the man swallowed, and an ache settled in Will’s heart.  “I don’t matter in this one.  It’s not my choice.”

“What about Spike?  Shouldn’t he get a say in this too?” the older Englishman asked mildly.  “And as his significant other, I would assume that you have some influence in the situation…”

“Nope,” the voice was flat, devoid of hope.  “I’m not going to condemn a man to death-again-just because he happened to take the place of my boyfriend.”

 

“I don’t…I have feelings for him,” Will finally admitted, turning his head away.  “Is it wrong?  He deserves to be loved by a lady.  Not something…wrong…like me.”

Giles smiled mildly, eyes twinkling with some kind of amusement he couldn’t understand.  “Love is never a fault.  Its relations, perhaps, but pure love?”

 

Will stopped, struggling with his conscience, by the couch where Alexander now lay slumbering.  Apparently he had loved this creature, this beautiful creature now willing to fight for his own existence despite the fact that it may cost him everything.  Apparently, they had given everything to each other.  Everything he had been told said that it was wrong, that relations of this sort were no more than temptations cast by evil.  But his heart, unbeating as it was, cried out that this was pure, untainted.  Could he love a man, a man with such brave smiles, who laughed and shrugged off his own hurt but would gladly put himself in agony just to help another?  A heart that did not discriminate, did not judge, no matter whether the person in question was even human.  A noble heart that hated sacrifice, that complained about it, and yet did the same without a thought.

He pulled away the blanket and slipped inside, pulling it around his shoulders, pulling himself closer to the man and into his embrace.  He lay there, examining his heart for any sign that he was doing the wrong thing, but other than a brief twinge of guilt all he felt was peace.  Comfort.  Relief.

The body beside him stirred, and then a sleepy and very confused voice asked, “Will?”

“Alexander, I…I examined my soul, and found that I do, in fact, love you.  And Rupert told me that I should not be ashamed of love, no matter who it was with, and that you were one of the best people he has ever known.  Irresponsible, at times, but a truly good person.  I don’t know if I’m an acceptable substitute for the man you love, but I…I wish to try.  And…I want to live, just for a little while, to truly decide.  But I need to make my decision soon, or I will soon grow so fond of life I will not be able to extricate myself.  I do not know whether you would wish to be with me, or whether you would consider that being unfaithful…”  He rushed on, determined to see it through to the end, to let this person know of his love.

An amused smile crossed the man’s face, and he began to look hurt.  Amusement?  Was that all he was worth?

“Someone else is babbling for once,” Alexander explained, and paused.  “Do you…really love me, I mean?  I know you’re not exactly all comfortable about the idea…”

“I wrote a poem,” Will stated quietly, and then blushed.  He hadn’t meant to admit to that.  Alexander chuckled, though, and pulled him in closer.

“I, um…call me Alex, I guess, if you don’t want to call me Xander, and you can tell me the poem.  Later.  After sleep.  And we’ll have a talk about this future thing.  But I get the whole live for a little while longer in this world thing, and I think that’d be okay.  Don’t feel pressured into anything, Will.”

Will grinned in delight and laid his head against Alex’s chest, listening to the heart beat.  He was surprised when a faint rumbling began emanating from his breast, like a cat purring, but had all too little time to think about it as it lured them both to sleep.

 

Will heard a shriek and saw a dark-haired man go flying.  “Alex!” he yelled in reply, and charged into battle, sword in hand.  “You will regret that, filthy demons.”

 

The man was somewhat familiar, but there was no way Will was going to stand and watch him threaten Alex.  He moved between the two men, trying to look fierce.  “I may not remember you, but I get the decided feeling I disliked you.  You charge in here, accusing my darling beau without the facts.  I will thank you to step away from Alex and stop looking so hostile.”

Surprise entered the man’s eyes, and he stepped away, Alex chuckling behind him.  “You’re right, you didn’t like him.  I was sort of with you there on that front.  Sometimes, Angel, you’re okay, but for the most part you’re just a right pain in the arse.”