Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 70

[madimpossibledreamer]

‘Kay.  So, feet in the…whitish part?  Like…yeah, right about there, I think. 

Nope.  *Prince screams*  Apparently not.  No no no, that didn’t happen.  May I start again? [Prince]  

(Long silence as I go get help from roommate because I’m getting defeated by the game.)  Let’s do it.  All right.  Is the part you get stuck here one of the ones you can stop midway? {roommate}  Uh, I don’t think so.  Okay. {roommate}

Uh, I…I can get to a stable part…really, Prince?  He’s done that a couple of times too.  That’s like, that’s not even the hard part, what are you doing?  I think he’s trying to be a butt.  Hmm. {roommate} 

I swear, I was getting farther with this.  I don’t believe you.  …I actually do believe you.  All right, proceed. {roommate} 

Prince…  I’m here now.  You don’t want to cause this kind of trouble. {roommate}  Remember what happened last time?  We did it until we got it. 

I started playing Tool.  That might have been part of his anger issues.  Why?  Tool’s a good band. {roommate}  Yes, it is.  But I was playing it specifically because I said he was being one.  You have a problem with being called—Look, Prince, you’ve been more than sassy with us. {roommate}  It’s true. 

*Prince screams*  That’s the point? {roommate}  …No.  (The amount of sarcasm I manage to contain in a single word…)  It’s not even close.  

Okay, Mr. Prince, look. {roommate}  I mean, part of it might be doing it with an audience, of course. 

Well, I could try—I can’t do it as well as you. {roommate}  I was getting through this really.  Quickly, even. 

Although the second pillar was one of the parts where I started to have a few problems, but I got through that without a…hi pillar.  All right. {roommate} 

And he does be a bit of a dumb here and not avoid the hole.  And then bats come.  Three times. 

…I don’t even know how you did that.  No no no… [Prince]  The sword knocked him backwards when he swung. {roommate} 

Prince…  Are you feeling okay?  You need— {roommate}  Prince, what?  (laughs)   You need a breather? {roommate}  Well, so do we. 

You need—you need to go get your nappies? {roommate}  *snorts*  Maybe make a stop by the— {roommate} 

Course, half of the problem is because his girlfriend decided to steal the magic dagger.  You need your mommy to tuck you in?  It’s okay; we get it.  We probably need that too. {roommate} 

Damn it, of course he won’t avoid the hole.  (Wow, this is affecting me.  I ssuuuuuper rarely swear so this is just weird to hear.)  I’m just going to do that. 

All right. {roommate}  Why are you hitting that?  Angle.  Huh.  And they just decided to—no? {roommate}  I don’t know how you did that, Prince, but. 

Stupid bats. {roommate}  Weird.  That is the first of several.  Okay. {roommate}  And now the bats are back.  But now he’s hitting in the right direction and not the wrong direction like a dumb.  Also, the bats have been getting bolder.  Occasionally they’ll leave when there’s only two of them, which means you have to kill one more bat than usual.  Which is weird. 

Hmm.  I see.  Where are you at, game-wise? {roommate}  93 percent.  So you made some good progress today, even with… {roommate}  Well, I only made three percent progress.  But.  I assume once I finally get through this part it’ll be a ton of progress, but. 

Goodbye flying rodents.  Careful. {roommate} 

The thing is if they knock me back here they knock me back onto that.  Right.  Nanananananananananana Batman. {roommate} *chuckles* 

Let’s see, are you willing to jump this time?  Yes.  Sometimes he’s like “Oh no, I can’t do it now, I have to wait until the end.”  And I’m like, okay, whatever, sir.  And the thing is I don’t know what I’m doing wrong because clearly I can do the other jump areas. 

Right.  We’re nowhere close to it now, right? {roommate}  Yeah.  I mean, it’s…maybe visible soonish, but.

Great.  Now this is the problematic place.  Okay. {roommate}  I have to walljump down and for whatever reason he’s just slapping the wall again.  And I’m like, I hate you. 

Okay, which one’s the jump? {roommate}  Jump is X. 

And every time he dies you have to redo that entire section.  I see.  I think I hate you now, Prince. {roommate} 

Yeah.  All right. {roommate}  Wallrun is this one.  And then you have to hit X to get him to actually jump off and hit the thing. 

Eh.  I’ll leave it to you. {roommate}  Okay.  I’ll figure out how to do this. {roommate} 

See, I know what I’m supposed to do.  I’m supposed to get to that section and then walljump down.  Buuuut.  (distant roommate)  Yeah.  It’s the same bug, right? {roommate}  Yep. 

And it is supposed to be jumping back and forth according to the thing. {roommate}  Yeah, I can even show you the video I found. 

*Prince screams*  Die uselessly. {roommate} 

That didn’t happen. [Prince]  Look, if you need your nappy, it’s okay.  We can get you your nappy, your baby bib… {roommate}

I’m just at this point like, Prince, why. 

Mr. Prince….Look, if you wanna cry about your girlfriend leaving you, it’s fine.  I’m not judging you.  It’s just you’re not going to get your stupid dagger back. {roommate} 

She basically seduced him and took the dagger and I’m like “but what about me tho?”  What have you done? 

You did this to me, Prince. {roommate}  No, Princess.  You did this to me. {roommate} 

I don’t care about the rest of it but now you’ve made me have to deal with him every time he decides to be dumb. 

…Why are you hitting in that direction, Prince?  No no no, that didn’t… [Prince]  That did happen, Prince.  Because the Sands of Time don’t work that way, and quite frankly, you’re an idiot. {roommate} 

I mean, he’s been standing in those Sands of Time things enough I’m like ‘you know, I wonder if he’s absorbed them and that’s how this whole going back in time thing is happening’?  (To a save point.) 

That would make him stupidly suicidal, but.  *scream of falling*  (That’s…that’s some timing.)  Prince, that was…that was… {roommate} 

The camera was even facing the correct direction for you to run the correct direction.  Look, my bedtime is soon.  I will get more angry.  I will cause you more problems. {roommate}