Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 65

[madimpossibledreamer]

I’m very curious.  Is this just an endless staircase? 

Do I not actually get my Magic Possession Water?  That’s a good way to phrase it.  I’m now calling it the Magic Possession Water. 

Where are you?  [Prince]  Oh.  Isn’t it beautiful? [Farah] Isn’t what beautiful? [Prince]  (Yes.  Your behavior is still concerning me, lady.) 

Where are you?  [Prince and me]  Hi, Prince.  You know.  We turn into each other.  It’s normal.  (We also happen to be turning into a broken record.  That part’s normal, too.  …I saw a legit broken record the other day.  No idea what was on it but it was kinda sad.  Ironic and black humory, but sad.) 

What are you doing? [Farah] I’m looking for you.  What the— [Prince]  Oh.  I’m going to keep checking these, because, you know, I could get— *whispers to himself* Where are you?  Farah.  [Prince]  I could get Magic Possession Water, though. 

I don’t know if any of these actually are… Farah. [Prince]  Does it happen if I leave? 

Farah? [Prince]  No, but apparently he says “Farah” as you leave, hang on. 

Where are you? [Prince]  *laughs*  Where are you?  [Prince]  Oh.  Isn’t it beautiful? [Farah] Isn’t what beautiful? [Prince]  Oh, apparently we triggered it again. 

Where are you? [Prince]  That’s funny.  Farah? [Prince] 

Well.  I guess that one doesn’t work.  Okay. [Prince]  …I’m sorry, I messed up what you were saying, Farah. 

Farah, where are you? [Prince]  I’m right here. [Farah] I’m guessing you’re in the water. 

There must be a reason for this. [Prince]  …All right, why are you so weirded out by magic now of all times, Prince?  Right. [Prince]  Prince, why are you so weirded out? 

I lost track of which ones I’ve gone through, I think.  I don’t know—  Where are you? [Prince]  I’m here. [Farah] Okay. [Prince]  (Including dialogue because at this point where I’m not concentrating on figuring out the puzzle it’s getting a little repetitive.) 

I don’t know if I’ve tried this one yet. 

I could go the other direction but I think I’d lose track.  If I keep them in one area, I can… 

Where are you? [Prince]  I’m here. [Farah]  

Doesn’t help me.  One, two… (ah, counting adventures!  We know how well that went last time.)  …oh, okay. 

Where are you? [Prince]  Here I am. [Farah] Oh.  Hmm.  She’s not actually in the water. 

Hang on.  Whee.  I love doing that.  I’m such a dork.  Okay. 

So, okay.  Is there a— Where are you? [Prince]  …is there a specific order I have to go in? 

I got dizzy, help.  I’m thinking maybe it was this one?  Nope. 

Is this some sort of puzzle?  …It is some sort of puzzle. 

Oh-kay.  So I just have to enter it in…clockwise order? 

Where are you? [Prince]  I’m here. [Farah] 

Is this the entrance?  This is the entrance.  Umm.  Clockwise.  So.  That may mean that’s not the entrance. 

Oh.  Maybe?  I dunno.  Ohhh.  (That sounded like the Doctor saying that, nice.  Ten probably.) 

That’s because that’s not actually the answer.  Where are you? [Prince]  I’m right here. [Farah] 

One opposite the—hi, Statue.  Farah, where are you? [Prince]  You say ‘right here’, I’m gonna slap you. 

And then the one—  I’m here. [Farah]  (Doesn’t slap.  Does glare.)  Well, this is…that doesn’t help me, Farah.  Does the door set—yeah.  So, the door to the right of the entrance. 

Farah! [Prince] We’ll be here forever.  (I respect old-school gamers that figured out this idiocy on their own slowly being driven mad by the constant ‘where are yous’ and ‘heres’ and not having a super clear indication of where you done goofed or how much further you had to go.) 

And then the door to the left of the one across from the entrance…  Shall we take a bath? [Farah] What are you talking about?  Where are you? [Prince] It would help if you would actually TELL me anything.  (tone getting annoyed)  That one, to the right of it. 

Where are you? [Prince] Take me in your arms. [Farah] I don’t see you. [Prince]  This…this seduction is weird, man.  Annnd then the door straight to the left of the entrance, which I have to find the entrance again…hi…left.  Where are you? [Prince]

(angry wheeee.  Usually that’s happy/enjoying but it sounds angry.  Maybe that’s the point?  Literally playing hard to get to get the Prince to concentrate only on her as opposed to the dagger because we haven’t died or fought in a while?)  All right, this is getting ridiculous. [Prince] Just a bit.  I’m just— Farah? [Prince]

I’m just going to hang here for a bit.  Who are you talking to? [Prince]  That’s a very good question. 

Hey.  4 to the left of the entrance. 

I’ve been waiting so long. [Farah]  Can you hear me? [Prince] (talking over them) I’m currently facing the entrance, so to the right then. 

One, two, three, four.  This feels very Nocturne-y.  (SMT: Nocturne.)  (talking over them louder and not even making an effort to pay attention because I’m annoyed) And then 9…so another two to the…right or left…I’m facing…because that one…how I roll, that’s what I do…please be the right one. 

Farah, where are you? [Prince] Do you want to touch me? [Farah] OH, this is just getting weird. 

(This is the equivalent of tuning back in in the middle of a conversation with friends, a long string of youtube videos going down the rabbit hole, or almost any conversation with Passione.  You know where you started and where you ended and it just got weirder.  Admittedly I’ve missed major plot points in previous cutscenes and dialogue due to talking, but I’m still a little struck by how he hasn’t realized she’s just using him yet.  Maybe it’s just to show his youthful brashness, or inexperience, but she’s pretty clearly just using him.  I do think that is one thing they got correct for the movie was the way Tamina worked as a Farah stand-in.  They both were willing to swallow their pride for duty.) 

For 5.  So…another four?  Farah! [Prince] One, two, three, four?  (Apparently correct.) 

Hi, cutscene.  Please play.