Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 61

[madimpossibledreamer]

Happy New Year's Eve!

 

Let’s see.  Oh.  You can only…oh.  What does this do?  Ahh. 

I can’t quite get up high enough, so I need the box there.  Okay. 

And then we have to run to the—oh hey, more sand.  That you wasted.  You piece of trash.  You start moving just as I say that.  You’re proving a point, aren’t you?  Thanks, Yosuke.  Thanks, Prince.  …Climb up that box. 

The Tower of Gaul! [Farah]  …The Tower of Gaul, you say.  (Seriously, how are you a tour guide to a place you’ve never been?) 

Can I run, please?  Can I run, please? 

Look, pots I don’t trust!  She’s just staring at me like “what’s wrong with”—oh, hi, birdies.  Water. 

(dances to music as transcribing)  See what happens when I get in the other area? 

This is apparently not actually water.  (what is it then?) 

If I hit you, Farah, I’m sorry.  Hi, water.  Sorry about running in front of you. 

Can you save me, Princess?  I admit I am entirely the damaged one in this instance. 

Camera, what. 

Hey.  I know.  I suck at this when they can’t knock me off things.  (Because they never expect a comeback.)  Ow. [Farah] I know I suck at this.  It’s fine.  Hopefully there’s water. 

Given that they have more of that, I’m guessing I was expected to use it, but.  Sand, I mean. 

Oh, hey, a breakable wall. 

Be careful! [Prince] Of what?  Not everything is a trap, you know. [Farah] (incredulous) In this place?  Yeah, everything’s a trap.  Do you know the crazy guy who built this?  Maybe he didn’t built this.  I mean, build it.  But you haven’t talked to the crazy guy.  Also there’s water.  You didn’t talk to the crazy guy with the British accent. 

(I can’t hear what they said.)  I mean, I agree, but also I want to make sure that I didn’t miss any—save water.  No.  There’s no magic water.  Well, there’s some magic water, but there’s not. 

“You know, not everything is a trap.” [Prince, mocking Farah] Like I said, in this place it most likely is. 

Dodge!  Dodge all the things!  I’m so glad I can dodge over these people. 

‘Course, we are in a place with just—oh dear.  Thank you. 

We don’t need more of the—ugh.  These guys.  Please deal with them.  Farah, please deal with them.  Fine. 

Help! [Farah] I can’t; they’re killing me. 

Seriously, why are you just standing there, Prince?  Okay, that didn’t help me either. 

Ah! [Farah] You’re fine. 

What?  Prince, what are you doing?  Were you trying to parkour? 

Hi, guy.  Prince, the guy behind you. 

Why did you put your sword away? [Farah] Oh, shut up!  Look, you would prefer—he just knocked me into the ceiling.  Okay, then. 

Okay, I didn’t do quite enough…  Oh, sorry, Farah, did I just hit you?  Oh, no, you’re almost dead, okay. 

Okay, rather than that second drink, then, I’m going to guess that I should come help you. 

I’m not trying to parkour on you.  Okay, that did not work at all.  Okay, I might not be able to make it through this one. 

Hey, guys.  Follow me.  Hi.  Hi.  Hey. 

Well, that guy was an idiot.  He turned his back on me.  Like, come on guys, don’t do that. 

Oh, he disappeared right in front of me. 

Oh, hey.  Not that guy, this guy. 

Oh, hey, a General.  Shoot, there’s another General.  Okay, that was a bad idea. 

Behind you! [Farah] *starts laughing maniacally* 

There was a thing to climb up right behind me.  You made a mistake. 

Oh, shoot.  Shoot.  Why did you put your sword away? [Farah]  Because I’m messing up and I need to heal.  Because I’m not skilled enough in this combat not to get a lot of damage, so I have to do the next best thing. 

You guys are dumb.  Okay, you’re not.  But you still messed up when it comes to the Elevation Problem. 

Where are you going? [Farah] I don’t know, but I’m appreciating it.  Help. 

That is the first time I have used Wallrun in combat. 

You’re okay, right, Farah? 

Oh great.  Yeah, I dodged them. 

That’s fine.  That might be less so.  You’re just stuck on that lamp and couldn’t get off it. 

Prince?  Prince no. 

Is this just a never-ending group of enemies, because—aha!  You fools both made the same mistake.  (can’t deal with a ramp)  But you did not, you are smarter than your bretheren. 

Uh.  Too many of those—I need to do a wallrun. 

I think it is.  I think it’s a neverending group of enemies. 

Also I have no idea how I did that, but whatever. 

C’mon.  General, just die.  Please.  Thanks.  Yeah. 

I think I might be dead.  I am dead.  I did not die in that battle; let me begin again. [Prince] 

“There are over three dozen.”  Oh boy.  Three dozen.  I have no idea how many I killed just then, but.  Oh boy. 

Finally figured out that the battle was over and that it should stop playing music. 

Be careful! [Prince] Of what?  Not everything is a trap, you know. [Farah] (sad/scared voice) You don’t know this place like I do.  You haven’t tried to get past all that. 

Okay, so I think that’s an indication that—wait, no, no, that’s not the way I was meant to go. 

Actually.  (breakwall)  Huh?  *gasps—it’s the Magic Water Place*  I don’t know what you just said, but I agree with everything that you just said.  (I concur!) 

Prince.  I died exclusively so I could get this health increase.  And the thing (guide) didn’t say anything about it, I think because they missed it.  (Whispering) I mean, it might be better if we don’t get. 

Wait, how long have I been here? [Prince] Staring at this wall?  What are you talking about? [Farah]  Never mind. [Prince]  I’ve just been staring at a wall.  But I feel better.  (So this is confirmation that the Magic Water Place is connected to the Velvet Room.)

*laughs*  I don’t know if that does anything, tbh.  Okay, yeah, it does nothing when you’re at full.  Eh, worth a shot. 

Maybe this health increase will help. 

Okay, okay, it’s twisting on—ohh, the wind is making the sleeves of my pants—cool.