Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 39

[madimpossibledreamer]

Oooohhhhh.  I’m supposed to get up here, get up there, and wallrun, because I want to get up there—  

Were you adjusting your pants…you know what, I’m not gonna ask.  That’s just weird, Prince. 

Okay, so I have to pull that, get up there…no.  Why would that help me.  Why would being able to wallrun back to where I started help me?  Or is that…opposite the door, or…where is the door? 

I am confused.  So I’m going to try a few things. 

So yeah, it does raise this.  I’m not sure how that helps anything but I’ll try it.  And I took the wrong route, this is already going to hurt me.  Fortunately I’m the fastest ladder climber in the entire, I dunno, whatever this is.  I don’t even know where we are. 

Well, you managed to save yourself there, but also… (and then plummeted to your death two seconds later.)

Oh, wait, maybe it’s not that.  Maybe I get up there and wallrun over that way.  To get more sand?  Not sure.  Hmm.  This isn’t the start, is it?  No.  It looks like the start. 

I’m just going to keep pulling the lever until I figure out what to do with it.  This…no.  What about in there?  I think that’s where you get up, but…right. 

Can I wallrun up the small edge of the wall—no, I cannot.  No.  I can get up there pretty easily anyway. 

Camera’s having a seizure again.  I am lost.  I am not thinking in portals.  Help me.  (It’s with portals and you’ve never played the game, so yeah, you need the help.) 

Ledge below the…Oh, I have to return—oh.  Well, that’s a thing. 

Where is said lever?  Lever, c’mere. 

I have go all the way around and climb up the ladder like a champion…look behind you and jump.  That’s not the way to jump apparently.  Apparently that was, so it just wasn’t at the quite right…Apparently I can jump up there.  Prince. 

If I don’t hear the sound of it anymore, does that mean I failed?  …No, I just barely have enough. 

I also need to stop accidentally hitting first person because I hate that. 

Oh, hey, look, a lever.  Wheee.  Okayyyy. 

I have to get back over there, um.  Is there an easy way to do this without murdering myself?  (By the sound of it, that wasn’t it.) 

You landed with your butt in the air like Yosuke. 

What happens if I jump backwards from here?  Jump…back…nice, I can hit it.  Thanks camera. 

I should get through here without a minimum of…or with a minimum of using…oh, wait, I have to be up there.  I actually have (mumble mumble), shocking. 

I do like this better than quicktime events anyway.  And this part is not timed, so we have all the time in the world to just…not fall off, and not die.  Oh wait, this door is closed.  Does that mean I have to pull a lever again?  It might do.  It might be.  It might know. 

I’m getting really good at platforming in this area. 

Thanks Prince Yosuke, I mean Prince, I mean…what were you even doing there?  And here I was saying we’d gotten through here with a minimum of using our sand.  Actually, maybe I should’ve saved one of those sand things until after we’d gotten through this part, but, y’know, whatever.  Wheee. 

I’m glad that you didn’t listen to me when I said to let go on the ladder because that would’ve been a dumb sand to use. 

Okay, so in fact this is also timed.  Yaaaaaayyyy. 

I think.  Huh.  There.  You moron.  Oh wait, no, hang on.  Maybe.  It didn’t actually open the door, ha. 

I go up that ladder like a champ.  Like a boss. 

I’m just going to pull this to give myself extra room so I do not get squished.  I prefer to not be squished.  Aha. 

And fortunately I happen to be the fastest ladder climber in the history of anything ever.  As long as the camera stops messing with me.  …What.  Did the camera really mess with me that long?  Yes, in fact the camera made me run back and forth for a ridiculously long…also this does not look like anywhere else we’ve been.  Is it really still—*clang* Yep, still metal rocks. 

And then there’s just this ominous mine entrance.  (And they call it a mine.) 

Oh boy, I really do not want to do this, but I have also watched a ton of horror let’s plays.  So I know.  These places are bad, man. 

Oh, have you been waiting here all this time?  Oh, I didn’t think you meant these baths.  I went to the other baths, clear across the city.  I had a lovely wash and a rub with fragrant oils.  Too bad you weren’t there.  …Stop talking to yourself! [Prince] I mean, I’m here.  You could be talking to me.  Also that means that that part in Forgotten Sands is actually a callback to this game, which makes me happy.  (We need to stop taking directions from sand people.  I mean, all they really do is yell menacingly with their sticks above their heads, so they’re clearly not the best tour guides.) 

Oh, it’s baths.  There’s bound to be water.  There’s water dripping here.  Can we drink it, Prince?  No? 

Barrels, you are in my way—those were made of different things.  They were made of different kinds of wood because they were different colors.  That’s interesting. 

Hahahaha, I nearly jumped on that.  Are you telling me I am supposed to jump to that rock?  Apparently I am supposed to jump to that rock. 

Oh, look at that.  Water I can drink. 

I’m just going to…whirl in place and it’ll be great. 

This is new music.  I don’t know that I’ve heard this music before. 

I like how I’m just whirling in place.  It looks epic.  (Like a dervish, perhaps?) 

Ow, stop that.  Oh, we’re getting a rock now.  

Oh, the water’s slowly pushing me backwards.  That’s great.  I am entirely too impressed by this, but I am slowly being carried towards a waterfall and my death.  (The water has actual pushing force.  There’s physics.)  Eeee.  I am such a dork.