Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 30

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

Oh, that’s a lever I have to pull.  I see.

Don’t wallrun that way, Prince, thank goodness for the column.

(Farah says something) Yes, I know.

Whaaaat?  Oh, there’s a switch up here.  Whee.  Whaaat.  …Oh, a ladder.  You’re welcome, Farah.  I’m just watching you climb the entire way…(It doesn’t occur to me until now that my character might’ve possibly been ogling.)  You’re welcome, why are you running into me?  If you wanted to be close to me, you could’ve just said so. 

Now we need to cross that bridge. [Prince]  Farah, can you get under here?  You can, in fact.  Yes, I was just going to suggest that. [Prince] Nice. 

Oh, apparently I was supposed to use a ton of sand.  I only needed one.

Oh, look, a bridge.  You did it! [Farah]  Thanks.  It’s nice to get some positive feedback—(laughs)

Far—wait, Farah, where did you go?  How did you even—Hi.  That is a beautiful sunrise.  There’s even some pink in there—Farah, don’t you fold your arms at me.  It’s important to appreciate life.  I mean, for all we know we’re the last two people alive.

How do we get down there?  Is there an easier way down there by any chance?  I think that just—that just opens that door.  So it doesn’t help us in any way.  What.  Ohhh, ladder, right—hey, Farah, wanna use the ladder?  Whee.

Oh.  I mean, I can save again.

There’s this weird eagle screech.  (I mean, this is Ubisoft of the Assassin’s Creed games, so…someone might be a little obsessed.  Which is fair, because raptors are cool.)

I’m gonna extra save because I can.

I like how I wake up and there’s light streaming behind me like I’m somebody cool.

Hey, if I lost any health I could’ve come back here and healthed…that’s not a word.

Trust the wallrun.

I’d rather just platform than platform with those things, y’know?

I don’t know how you’re going to get down, Farah.  Hopefully there’s a way.  I guess we’ll figure it out when it comes to it.  (two seconds later)  How did you teleport down here, Farah?  Well, anyway, bridge.

Oh, of course.  Well, fortunately, we’re right next to water.

C’mon, let me—oww.  (I don’t think he let you.)

Combat is definitely getting a bit harder for me.

I thought that water thing was—this is probably going to kill me.  Again.

(laughs nervously) don’t knock me off, please.  (I actually have a fear of heights.  It didn’t show up too much in this game which was nice.)

It was worth a try.  Man down.  I can actually do this quicker…Nope.

What in the world is this?  There’s a sand thing here.

No, no, I did not die in that battle.  Let me begin again. [Prince]  I mean, I would hope not or I’m talking to a ghost. 

I have full health currently.  Farah, there’s a trap ahead.  Across this bridge, in fact.

He’s really the priority there.  (general dude I think.)

Help me. [Farah]  I’m going to try.

Wow, this is gonna be a lot of trial and error when it comes to—owww.

What happens if I go through here?  Just curious.  Oh, there’s a crank.  Hi, Farah.

This is probably a terrible idea, but whatever.

Oww, stop teleporting at me, that’s rude.

Circle-strafing!  And dodge-rolling.  Hi, Farah.  Glad to know you’re just hanging out here.  Now I just have to go past them all.

You’re acting like combat’s over?  Really?

And then he knocked me over.  What time is it?  8:36, okay.  This time it got significantly harder.

Hi y’all.  I should’ve already had my sword out.

Help me. [Farah] You’re fine.  You’re fine.  We took care of the general.  Okay, we took care of that general.  I’m mistaken.

Thanks for waiting.  Oh man, we’re surrounded by generals.

I think they’re mostly waiting until I was done (drinking).

Dude, dude.  Could you, I don’t know, let me move.  He’s got me entirely trapped in the corner and I can’t move.  Okay, he finally stopped that.  Also, changing the camera is actually super helpful.

Okay, got more sand.

Farah, are you hiding in the room again?  …Hi Farah.  …Do they actually come in this room?  I don’t think they do, hang on.  Oh, they’re out there.  Um.  Well.  (starts laughing uncontrollably)  Um.  The music stopped.  They’re still there, but they’re just walking around in circles outside the door.  Ummm.  Well.  Technically I could open this door.  I don’t know if there’s…ohhh.  (The turny lever closes off the door behind me as it opens the one in front, and I start to strategize when I have breathing room.)  I don’t know if there’s healing in front of me.  Farah, could you shoot them, or are you just stuck in this room now?  I could maybe jump out and ambush them?  Okay, this is dumb, but I’ll take it.  Oh man.

Hi, I don’t actually exist.  Thanks for playing.  Oh man, this is such a cheese.  (laughs)  This is Swiss.  This is entirely Swiss.  This plan is full of holes and is terrible for you, but you know, it works.  Hi.  Uh-oh.  Uh-oh, they might’ve figured out the safe room.

I am just going to ambush you all one by one and you won’t even see it coming because I found the magical room.  Also these two are just walking into each other eternally.  Is anyone actually going to come down here?  I don’t know what my sands are at this moment.

Okay, they kind of know I’m here.

The minute I go through the doorway, they turned around, like “Nobody’s here.  We checked out this doorway.  There was nobody here.”  Oh man.  If I have to try this again, I’m just going to make a beeline for this room.

Yes, pat off your—oh, that actually does get rid of dirt.  I am shocked, Prince.  I am incredibly shocked.  (His animation was actually useful and not just an idle animation…weird.  I mean, that they show it actually being functional.)

No?  I’ll wait a little bit.  There.  They won’t see it coming.

Oh no, he teleported into the doorway.  This might be a problem.  Or not.  Bye.

Fine.  Is there anyone else out there?  Well, there’s you.  You’re not really a threat, though.  Well, not much of one anyway.

I totally just cheesed that.  Oh man.

Oh, and now there’s a sand column there.  Before that, though, I’m going to drink this water.  I’m going to drink this healing water and everything is going to be okay.

I’m going to leave you on your own now, Prince, don’t do anything crazy while I’m gone.  (laughs)