Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 23

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

/snorts Don’t mind me, Princess.  I totally know what I’m doing.  Trust me.

Maybe at this point I can do the wallrun jump—wait, no.

I wonder what those do. [Farah]  I don’t know, but getting there is gonna be tough.

Why are you always standing right there?  Princess, you’re weird.  It takes one to know one, but seriously.  You’re weird.  (whispers) Marcie, you’re weird.

Maybe I grab this ledge?  …Ledge.  I said ledge.  I do.  Haha.

I knew these were important for something.

Let’s not move ourselves into the—aww.

Are you all right? [Farah] Yes. [Prince]  Yeah, just missed my (jump?  Landing?).  Is there water anywhere?  Oh, right, there’s some here.  Okay, cool.  So I can actually fix things when I miss my parkour jump.  Eee.

Maybe I’m supposed to go over here and—Nope, I can.  Are you all right?  [Farah]  I’m glad you’re at least asking about that.

I was gonna say, did the water just stop working, because if so, that’s really creepy.

I have the feeling this is here for a reason.  …It was right behind me, Prince. 

Now from here, I really have to figure out my next move, because I honestly don’t know.  I can’t just swing my body to the right, can I?  That’d be nice, but I don’t think it actually works that way.

I can’t make that jump.  Maybe if I was facing this way I could jump onto that column?  …Worth a try.

Oh hey, column.  Column hug.  Columns need hugs, too.

Farah just thinks I’m completely insane by this point, but that’s okay.  That’s my life.  Being thought insane by pretty ladies and pretty much everybody.  And parkouring.  And not having any health.

(stone rumbles) I-I…what did I do?  Actually, you know what, I’m just going to drop.  Even if it hurts me, there’s water.  I can just heal with water.  Hello water.  It’s taking longer and longer for the water to heal me every single time.  (I’m not sure I can confirm if the animation gets lengthened, but if you’re talking about healing to max health when your health bar is lengthening, yeah, I can see that happening.)

What did that ladder watch?  (excuse you what?  I think I’m stumbling over the words I’m trying to say, but what in the actual world is happening with my words here?)  What did that in fact do?  Water letter.  Oh, there is in fact one on this side too.  I have to pull both of them, probably.

Wait a minute, is there a column over there—there is.  Column hug.  Hug the column.  The column is your friend.  Hopefully that’s actually behind me so I can grab it—yesssss.  This is actually fun.  It’s a nice chance to relax and—

Yeah, what are those?  What do they do?  Why is it important in any way.  I don’t know what they are—oh hey, Farah’s next to it, saying “hey look, isn’t it cool?”  So let’s go find Farah, she’s probably—can I go into the dark abyss?  I cannot go into the dark abyss.  What am I actually supposed to do?  (Prince: Are you trying to get me bitten by a poisonous snake?)

Farah, do you have any insight into why this all might be important?  No?

I—I can run up the tree?  I can run up the tree.  I can wallrun up the tree.  That is a thing I can actually do.

Oww.  That didn’t actually hurt, but ow, that wasn’t supposed to happen.

Wallrun up the column please, I want to see if it does anything.  It does not.  What about this column?  I doubt it, but it’s worth a try.  Farah.  I legit have no idea how to get where we’re going next.

Oh wait, there’s, um.  There’s a crack up here.  Oh, is this how you got in?  This is probably how you got in.

Why is this gate opening important.  What.  (Nani?)  What relevance does this have for my daily life?

You can run into the plants and make them move.  That’s a good thing to know.

Oh.  Wait, no, I was doing that before, never mind.  Goddess statue, statue of time…is it called the statue of time in Devil May Cry?

Is there anything I can do from the way we came in?  It does not—wait, hang on.  No, there’s nothing I can do from the way we came in.

Careful! [Farah] It’s fine.  You don’t even get hurt from dropping from here.

They showed the sluice gate opening from down there, and it has no relevance in anything.

Maybe I can move you.

Aww, it doesn’t let me drag the statue any further, so that’s also not relevant.

I’ve parkoured everywhere that I can possibly parkour that I can see.  There’s this door that’s completely invincible.  There’s this wall that’s completely invincible.  Oh, hang on.  This has drag marks.  Maybe I push this into the sluice.  Would you look at that, game design.

Would you stop putting your hand on your waist at me?  I know it’s taking me a while.

Ha, I dropped a thing, can I, can I not— Stay there! [Prince] Are you talking to me?  (shocked)  …I think that was Yuri, was it—uhhh.  Um, oh, do I have to get to the entrance thing over there?  Maybe.  That’s possible.  I’ve already parkoured all this.  Oh, no, I have to head back.

Well, that explains where that door opened.  I think you’re supposed to recognize that place, but I totally do not recognize that place, even if I was over there, a lot.

Good.  I don’t actually know a way—‘cause I think if you—I’ll just take a little damage, it’ll be fine.  I am in the baths, after all.  There’s water everywhere.  Water, water, everywhere, and I’m…drinking everyone’s bathwater, okay.  Did not think about that.  Prince, Prince.  That’s a problem.  Uh-oh.  Hopefully we don’t have the same (problem)—we do have the same.  That’s okay, we can get through the same—(has to rewind time again) we can get through the same way we did last time.

…Legit, what just happened.  What are you doing?

Hurrah for bugs, am I right?

I’m probably going to keep doing this until I die, and then I’m going to turn this off, because it’s probably going to be another couple tries.

I just kind of wish there wasn’t that gap, because I can keep doing this.  It took me a couple tries, because I can do ten jumps in a row.  It’s fine.  He just keeps slapping the wall instead.

For goodness’ sake, Prince.  Would you stop slapping the wall?  I hate that.

What?  What, no, you did it once, and the exact same spot.  The thing is, if he hits it with his feet, it’s fine.  If he doesn’t—Sometimes he hits with his hands first and it doesn’t work.  (low health sound)  Yeah, I know.

It might be that I’m getting the timing slightly wrong, but I don’t feel like I am.  Especially as the same exact—It’s gonna be a little bit.

It’s not as bad once you figure out you have to essentially waste a sand getting through it.