Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 22

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

Okay, I ended up looking up a video, and it’s two movements over from the side because apparently your feet have to hit the part of the wall that actually is not ruined.  And apparently that doesn’t happen if you’re are all the way over.  I don’t know.  I’m going to try it and we’ll see what happens.

I don’t know how I made it through those traps.  Lemme tell you, mumble mumble.  (Yes, you certainly told me.)  I think it’s a matter of jumping from the exact right spot.  I have yet to find that spot.

Okay, apparently it’s buggy?  Who would’ve thunk?  Because the only way that I got him to actually stop slapping the wall instead of jumping off of it was to turn back time until he was midair and flying toward the wall and then it would work fine.  Same exact spot.  I don’t even know.  But that might.  I.  I’m glad I’m making a recording of this so in the future when I’m at this spot I can be like, “Oh, right, this is the really, really messed up part.”

We’re finally here!  Farah, I didn’t—I interrupted you, I am so very sorry about that.  /sigh  But I made it!  There’s more writing on the wall.  Nice.  There’s also enemies, but I think I’m going to go for the water first, tbh.  Oh, look!  A sword!  How cool.  Gimme water.

Okay.  Now that we’re done with that.  (fighting commences) Let’s get us some sand.  ‘Cause I totally need some sand.

Oh, it’s the teleporting ladies.

Oww.  Stop that.  It hurts.  Ow, quit that.  Seriously.  Fiiine.  I was trying to take her sand, but fine, if that’s what you want to do.  We’ll do that.

Okay.  I don’t like how they’re all around me.

Stop accidentally freezing people.  I’m trying to get their sand.

I don’t know if there’s anybody still coming, I didn’t—(sheathe my sword epically).  Apparently there is.

These are real bondage guys.  Instead of Bond Girls, it’s Bondage Guys.  They’re just not really my thing.  It’s cool if it’s yours, but—please stop that. 

I’m trying—you’re not allowed to get back up.  This is all I need, Prince.  I’m just trying to take their sand, and you’re all like “no, I’m gonna try to freeze this person instead”—dude, dude, we still need sand.

Thank you for actually taking his sand like I was trying to tell you to, Prince, sheesh.  You have issues.  Prince.  You’re having serious control issues here.

Fighting is just being frustrating at this point—Thanks, Farah.  (Not sarcasm.)  It’s not even like they’re dangerous, it’s just that it’s going on forever because Prince is not doing what I tell him to.  He’s just letting people continually get back up over and over again and it’s a problem.

Seriously, Prince, we need more sand.  What about this situation says “use the precious sand that we already have”?  What about this situation says “freeze them”?  Seriously, Prince.

Yeah, you teleported. (to Farah)

Wait a minute, I used this water before.  I can’t use this water to heal now—what are you talking about.  Oh, wait, I’m hitting the wrong button.  That would do it.  I was just trying to sheathe my sword over and over.  (sheepishly) That would do it.  Well, don’t I feel stupid now.

There’s another doorway, there’s more water, there’s…a breakable wall?  (Instantly starts smacking it.)  Try as I might, I could not break that crumbling stone wall.  Perhaps a warrior with the strength of Rustam might have smashed it, but I had not the strength enough in my arm, nor my sword.  It was as if a magic charm protected it. [Prince]  Again, who is this person you speak of?  And this wall is totally breakable, how—do we have a wrecking ball somewhere?  Can we swing this fiery thing into it?

Oh.  There’s a lever.  That I…don’t think I can reach.  No.  I can get wet, though.  How am I gonna get back to the sand thing?

I mean, I’ll save here, because that bug was annoying, but.

Done.  I’ll start the story from here next time. [Prince]  You do that.

Actually, she has all these opportunities to steal the dagger and she doesn’t.  Farah, I’m disappointed in you.  Slightly.

Oh good.  I’ll just…why.

That’s the way I came.  I don’t wanna go that way.

I wonder what this says.  Does anyone—has anybody done that?  …Are you just gonna be standing on there?  But…what…can I pull this?  I can’t.  Can I push it?  …I can push it!  That’s cool!  (I’m very excited about that.)  Can I…no, I don’t wanna have a seizure, thanks.  (Accidental Savespot.)  No, I’m good.  I’m good.  I already had the seizure.  I hate it when that happens.

How do I get up there?  I can’t grab this column—nope.  I’m facing the wrong direction.  That wouldn’t work.

Could you stop that?  Fun as it is.  (camera shenanigans)  There are things to grab onto, apparently…

I can’t run with wet boots.  I’m going to wait until they dry off.  Oddly enough I can run up this thing, but.  Oh, that’s so close!  Prince, why can’t you run just a little bit further—er, jump just a little bit further.  I guess I have to accept I can’t do this one.  But I have to assume that these bar things here are up there for some reason. 

Also, camera, why are you so useless?

I can climb on that, for some reason.

Camera, you’re utterly useless.  Why do you even exist?  I mean, we wouldn’t be anywhere without the camera, but also.

Is that another door?

He made that same joke—"who do you think I am”?  I don’t know.  I don’t actually know your name.

More writing.  Alas, if I could only read Arabic.

The thing is, I saw the door open.  I feel like I should—

Hurry, before it closes! [Farah]  Yeah, yeah.  …Jump, Prince.  Jump.  …It’s trying to close.  What about this says “don’t hurry” to you.  Were you really that nontrusting of that room, because to be fair…I mean, that is fair.

Oh no.  I turned off the water.  Oh, I guess that’s important for—really.  (I’ll finish this sentence in a bit.)

Prince does not trust anything about these rooms.  (camera directions kept flopping, so the instant he got in a room he immediately turned on his heel and started running out of it.)

Which I guess is important for parkour skills.