Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 20

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

Hi.  This might be a little bit loud.  This is probably a little bit better.

Great.  I started on the bird cage.  I was not in fact standing on top of the bird cage.  I don’t remember exactly to do this so we might end up dying a couple—oh, you just drop.  That’s a thing.  Could you switch which direction you’re facing, Prince?  Thank you.

Yeah, I know, stop staring at me Prince.  It might be obvious to you, but it’s not to me.

Remember, Prince, we have to make it through this with more health than last time so we can make it through the birds.

Fine.  Okay, you hear me?  Prince?

I dunno.  That might’ve been a bit (too much health to lose, probably). 

Well, I can’t reach that.

Are you here, Princess?  Were you supposed to be here at some point?  I don’t actually remember seeing you.  I know I heard you.  Where are you?  Princess?  Oh right.

Stop hacking at the wall.

There you go.  Did that help you in any way, shape, or form, Princess?  Princess?

Oh, are you behind this?

My Princess is in another castle.  I make the reference, never having seen it before.  (Well, not the original.  I’ve seen Yosuke reference it.)

Oh, there you are.

I was just wandering around randomly, Princess, because I thought you were already up here.

Actually, hang on, hang on, hang on.  Now that there’s a ladder does that mean I can actually go down and heal?  I think it does.  It does.  Prince, I’m an idiot.  Prince, I’m an idiot.  Now I have a way up, I guess we won’t fall.  Sorry about that.  I am an idiot.

Why is our Princess--? (no idea what I was asking here.)

I began to feel drawn to this girl at my side. [Prince] We’ve already had this conversation.  I confess, I was grateful for the company of someone who, like me, was flesh and blood. [Prince] And alive.

Step on that pressure plate, would you? [Prince]  And stay there?  I like how she just has one foot on it, like, really?  I’m doing as you ask, but also, I think you’re dumb, so I’m just going to—

Okay, we can’t actually go back and get more water, so.  This is all we get, Prince.  Lot better starting place than it was, though.  Now the hard part—getting through this without—can I not just continue—

You know, I’m going to see if I can’t just continue rolling.  What is messing up my rolling?  Ohhh, it’s the sides.  So if I run into the wall…I’m going to try to avoid running into the wall then.  Ow, we failed.  Practicing my rolling here.

Now that we’ve had more practice we should be slightly better at this.  Aahhh, or not.  Okay, note to self, do not run into that thing either.

See, if we come through here with this much health, we’ll have lost anyway, so.

This might take a couple tries of just trying…just kill me.

Prince is being angry at everybody including me, but given that I am a random voice acting in his head, it all makes sense.

Okay, this is going to be hard.  And fun.  /sarcasm

See, the thing was, even with full sands, we weren’t able to like...survive the birds with low health.  So, we’re gonna try this until we get it right, I guess, Prince.  If we don’t lose any more health, we’ll be fine, but.

How did I get over these?

You did it! [Farah] I did, and I have a little more health, so this might be possible.  Maybe.

Yeah, this might definitely be possible.  C’mon, Prince.  Let’s try this.

Wrong way, but that’s fine.  We can go the long way round.

Now, time for bird attack.

Definitely much better chances here.

Ow.

Hehe.  Prince, see how much easier that is when we’re not dead.

Prince, no.

I’m just.  I just. Prince.  That was so much easier.

Hi Farah.  I see you down there.  I no longer see you down there.

The instant I jump over they’re going to be attacking me, but I can maybe get in a sip of water first.  Or not.  Could you get up and stop.  There are three of these guys, but we do have four sands, so if all else fails.

There are four of them above.  Oh dear.

Really, six of them?  Do you have to bring this many?

Give me water, please.

If we don’t have to use the Sands, that’d be even better.

Another one?  Sheesh.

See?  See how much better this is going.

And now we’re going to drink the waterfalls, which are very pretty, by the way.

Don’t jump off to any strange places or anything.  Bene.

Don’t.  Don’t do that, Prince.  Prince, jump across the gap.  Please?  Better.  Seriously.

Whenever the camera changes, it takes a second to realize what direction everything is suddenly.

And then I tried some things and died and couldn’t get past the birds again.

I can try that, but I don’t know if we can make that jump.

You know, I’ll drop down and we’ll see what our options are.

Uh, we could try that…Nope.  That doesn’t work.

Right.  That’s the one you decided not to angle correctly.

Really?  You’re still deciding not to angle correctly.  Can I not actually hit that?  I might not actually know what I’m doing here.

Oh, you’re…you’re useless.  That’s good to know.

Actually, I am figuring out a lot of this stuff on my own, but I don’t want to have to redo this if I don’t have to…

Oh, I can’t believe that didn’t occur to me.  I am an idiot.  Yes, you heard that right.  Prince, I am an idiot, because…D-did you just bow at me?  Because…instead, let’s do this.  That’s so much better, Prince.  Oh, that’s so much better.  Prince, Prince, we’re here…Not quite.

What do you mean, ‘jump the bridge and save’?  Is there a save point around here?  …I guess that is a save point.

Prince, what even was that?

I totally can’t make out what the weird whispers are saying.  Can you make out what the weird whispers are saying, Prince?

Prince, dodgeroll into the thing is not…Yeah, hi.

Fyi, hi.  Yeah, I hate scarabs.  Yeah, stop that.

I don’t think I’ve heard this fight music yet.  That’s cool.  Wait, is it still playing?  Are we still in a fight?  Farah, tell me these things.

There is water!  Farah, you deal with that.  We in fact have water.  This is the best day.  Careful! [Farah] It’s okay, I have water behind me.  And I still have some sands left, so.  I unfortunately cannot get sand from anybody, because scarabs are apparently not made of sand, but…I did a cool pose.  What is this, Jojo’s?

Farah, come over here and drink this water.  It has numerous medicinal health benefits.  I know I sound like a crazy salesman, but it’s true.  I’ve experienced it myself…which I know makes me sound like a con artist, but it’s true.  It’s magic.  As magic as the Other Place.  You haven’t been there.  It’s weird and also magic.  That just makes me sound insane.

…Farah, are you…aiming at my head?  Farah, please stop.  I’d prefer it if you don’t.

That’s a new monster.  I’ve seen her before but that guy’s new.  I’m not sure if I should be happy about that.  At least there’s water.  I think?  So if necessary I can…

Why did you put your sword away? [Farah]  Because for some reason I keep thinking it’s my attack button.  Don't ask me; I don't know.