Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 13

[madimpossibledreamer]

One of my favorite sections of the game so far is coming up.  Also I'm probably taking my final tonight, wish me luck.
 

Well, we’re back.  It’s kind of shocking that that one awful fight was not enough to make me go eeeh maybe not, but, hey.

Oh, it saved me here, too, nice.  (No, it’s not, it means that going back to get a picture of the one painting’s going to be an absolute pain, but. Ah well.)  Awesome that you, too, know how to platform.  I totally know what I’m doing, stop looking at me like that, Farah.  And stop sassing me, Farah, what.  Farah, why are you sassing me?

You’re liable to hit me.  I mean, judging by everything you’ve done before in these combats.  (I agree with the Prince.  And my past!self.)  You were less dangerous than the Vizier, I’ll give you that.  Not the Vizier, sorry, Sand King.  My Father.  Which is an unfortunate story.  Feel free to hit the ones over there that aren’t actually—oh, you are, good.  Thanks.

I do like that I actually kind of know what I’m doing.  Weird, isn’t it?

Ow, stop that.  Why did you put your sword away?  [Farah]  Shut up, like you never hit the wrong buttons, Farah.  Seriously.  You might not be a playable character, but.  I mean, technically, there’s water there so I technically could probably put my stuff away so I could not—so I could heal during this, but unlike the other one—other battle, I don’t think I need it.  Among other things, I have yet to use the Sands, so.

Farah, are you actually doing anything over there?  Do I need to bring these guys to you?  …Why do I keep using that?  Ohhh, I’m trying to use the Sand…

Did you come over because I was losing health, because if so, Farah, like—Wait, no, friendly fire is a thing, I can probably hurt you.  Farah, please don’t.

Oh, I can’t roll over people if I don’t have my sword out.  That makes a difference.  Also, for a second, I thought that was you, Farah.  (Typing this out, I realize how weird it is to constantly be saying her name.  That’s not how people talk in real life.)

*snorts* I’m going to pose really epically with Farah right behind me.

Also, I don’t trust you, but thanks for having my back!  ‘Cause that’s how this works.

I’m just going to fix my hair while you drink all the water in the land.  That’s right.  You do you.

What are you…?  [Farah]  I…don’t know, it’s a game mechanic?  Don’t ask me how it works or what it does.  I don’t actually know.  …You’re not going to actually question me further?  Shocking.

Please not again.  [Farah]  Please not again what?  What are you talking about?

I was just noticing that my outfit has indeed changed because my arm got hurt so I tore off my sleeve to make a makeshift bandage.

Stop. [Farah]  I’m sorry, it’s the only way to make a save.  Also, that was a save of, like, two seconds and I’m kind of concerned.  Yes, I want to save, but also why are you having me save now?  …Yes, it always has me (wake up on the ground I think I was going to finish that with).  Oh, wow.  I woke up, like, I don’t know—I have no idea if I’m all right.

Other places, yeah—notice that all the plants are fine; I guess that it just affects animals.

Also, notice that I woke up, like, five to seven feet from where I was.  This is weird.  This has never happened before.  (Pretty sure it has and you’re just oblivious, though the distance does change.  Also it took me this long to say this because I legit have no idea how to guesstimate distance.)  Farah, this has never happened before.  You have nothing to say on the matter, I see.  Well, you probably don’t know how that works either.  That’s good.

Are you all right?  No.  It hurt a little.  Be concerned about the fact that it hurt a little.  At least there are poles.  (plunge to my death)  …That’s weird.  I couldn’t actually make it to that pole.  Oh, there’s sand down there.

Farah, I’m going to try some things.  Ooh, there’s nice cliffs down there, and creepy foggy hillside.  I’m going to try—no, that didn’t work.  So that is not actually a place I can grab.  What am I supposed to do here?  Farah, Farah, can you see anything with your elven eyes, or—do you have elven eyes—no?  …No, don’t do that, that got us killed last time if you remember, Prince.  Let’s try—well that worked, I guess I just wasn’t close enough.

Also, you might want to something about these things and how well they’re fixed to the wall, because I’m concerned about how they move when I do this.  And that…she did?  (It’s not her castle.  She’s not the boss of the wall poles.)

(Prince says something I can’t make out) Good question.  Prince, are you—are you talking to yourself?  Because that’s a sign of insanity.  ‘Course, me talking to you is—pretty moon.  Is that why we ended up seven feet from where we passed out?  Because she tried to steal it?  Because that would explain some things.

I don’t think we can reach those, so I think we have to go down.  What do you think, Prince?  Prince?  Prince, talk to me.  No?  Okay.  (He’s taking the ‘insanity’ remark to heart.)

I didn’t hear you, Farah.  Oh, wow.  Invincible barrels.  Farah, I can’t hear what you’re saying.  If you meant me to hear what you’re saying, I cannot, in fact, hear what you’re saying.  Climb up into the invincible barrels.  Did that do anything?  Farah?  Farah, talk to me.  (I am needy today apparently.)  …Wait, this isn’t your castle, you probably don’t know anything about the defenses.  Useless.  Muda.

He just keeps looking around like he actually hears me saying things.  ‘I have someone talking to me in my head and it is strange.’  When I come back, if he has his hands—(think I came back here)—he actually turned his head like he heard me.  This is getting weird.  Anyway, he’s got his hands behind his back and he’s just staring somberly at the ground and it’s like oh yeah, you just killed what used to be your father, huh?  I’d say I was the Shadow Prince, but we already have the Dark Prince, and he’s a little too—I’m obviously not him.  So.  We’ll just call me Shadow Yosuke.  It’s okay, you’re not alone, Prince.  I gotcha.

Anyway, what am I doing with this lever?  *whispers* Lever, lever.  *normal voice* I can actually push it a bit further.  Is it supposed to be facing a certain direction, or—oh, wait, no, I can actually push it further.  Oh, hey, nice.  Do I have to get down there in a certain time, or—I probably do.  Fortunately, easy.

…I could use some help, but you probably can’t even see inside, so.

…I think it might’ve been a trap, actually, Princess.  Especially ‘cause the door didn’t actually close.  Oh, there’s pretty design things on the wall.

Oh, hey, don’t go through the wall.  Oh, boy, you brought friends.  Well, it’s not a party if you didn’t bring friends.  Oh, boy, you brought even more friends.  The fun just keeps coming.  Seriously, who are you people?  Why are you here?  (Whose house is this??)

I am actually getting good at this combat and know what I’m doing.  It’s ridiculous, really.  Sword, sword, dagger, sword.  But seriously, I think this was a trap of some sort, because you can’t see in to shoot, and—Breakables!  Breaking these things does nothing besides satisfy my inner desire for destruction.  Also awesome sword moves.  Look at that.  Wait, Prince, do that again.  Do it again.  Not just the slash.  There was this awesome twirly sword move and he’s not doing it now.  Aww, fine.

I’m having another vision—is this what infects me in later games?  I feel like this is what infects me in later games.  I talked about the sword point being dangerous, right?  Like, the save point is actually a trap.  Oh, also, SOMA.  SOMA also did that.  …Huh, I got teleported a foot away.  *whispers* That’s weird.  *normal voice*  Have I always been teleporting when I save or did I not notice?  (Those are the exact same question, and given that it always happens [okay, distance changes, still] later, I’m going to go with yes and yes.)  Is there water?  …I know I’m obsessed with water—I think I’ll be obsessed with water this entire playthrough, but is there water?