Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 11

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

And here I shall work out where I’m going.

Why are all of your defenses timed?  Why did you even jump that way?  Prince, why did you jump that way?  How did you even get hurt?  I don’t even know at this point?

What.  Why do you people build these things?  Why do you even do these things?  What is your…what even are you?  (I have met my nemesis, the blade on a pole.)  How do you even avoid these things?  (I didn’t realize I could dodgeroll under it.  I was trying to time running past.  Which is possible, given that I got though the section only partially scathed, but.)  Goodbye, health.  I hardly knew thee.

Oooh.  Yeah, I could use full health.  I mean, I started this with full health, and I still could use some more full health.  That is exactly how hard this section is.  (I made it harder on myself, but. Still.)  They knew.  They knew.  They knew how hard it was.

You know, warning me I have no health does not help me in any way, shape, or form.  I’m aware that I have no health.  I’m aware that I have no health.

I could wallrun over here and…drop onto these spikes.  Perfectly as planned.

That actually hit me slightly.

The music says that everything is fine and I am safe.  I don’t trust it.  …Did I find the invincible…Guys, I can’t break anything here.  I should probably stop trying.  That might…I feel as if I have been here before.  Déjà vu?  Are you sure that you haven’t somehow lived this with the dagger?  Oh, oh, we’re back here.  I have been here before.  Yeah, but that section getting up here didn’t have anything to do with the last time.  (seriously, other than music you may or may not be able to hear, how did you know?)  …What kind of rock is this?  And what are these glowing blue lights?  And what is at the bottom of the pit?  Questions we will never know the answer to, Prince.  Not that we probably want to.  What were they whispering?

*highpitched voice* You gave me back my health!  I love you!  *normal voice* I don’t even know who you are, but you are a wonderful, amazing person.  I feel stronger than ever!  Yeah, yeah, I totally agree with you.

They look grabbable.  They’re jutting out.  Why can’t I grab them?  …Testing this is going to be very, very dangerous.  Do not try this at home.  Hang on.  Hang on, that actually looked like it worked.  …Ooh, mountains!  And sand beneath them.  And the giantest moon I’ve ever seen.  Okay, conclusion: you can’t actually grab those, despite it looking like you can.

Oh, well.  When all else fails….No, there is legit no way you can jump to that.  There is no way.  Oh, you just wallrun to…Always trust the wallrun, what am I saying.  I am an idiot.

Can you go from this into a wallrun?  …You in fact cannot.

I did not intend to do that but I guess it saved me some time, so.

And now I have to time this one.  Not like that, for example.

Okay, this is after I got that health, I think…Oh yeah, ‘cause I didn’t have full health at that point, so it’s gotta be.

Farah!  Is that her name?  I might’ve seen her name places.  (It’s actually entirely possible that it’s been said before, but like I said.  Cutscenes.  Pay attention.)  I realize that it’s a personal insult to you, but.  (what.)

Oh, for heaven’s sake.  Why do you people build these things?  Why do you people do these things?  What even are you?  I don’t know how I even managed to do that, considering I wasn’t even paying attention or trying.

Prince.  Prince, what even are you?  Are you a man, or are you a—I think I failed that.  (I don’t even know how I was going to end that statement.)

I feel uncomfortable with the saw here, even if it’s not actually working.  Just having it by your head is a little disconcerting.

Hopefully it spawns me here when I inevitably die to that stupid sawblade.  Not that one, the other one.  Actually, technically it’s not a sawblade.  The knife on a rotating stick.  …I wasn’t even trying at that point, I just walked into that.  I’m going to waste all of these (sand tanks) on this stupid thing.  I hate this thing.  It can die for all I care.  Actually, it’d be better if it died.  …Is it easier to approach it on this side?  (gets stabbed)  That was—I was just examining it.  I wasn’t even all that close.  (they have a longer reach than you think.)

I’m probably going to die to this horrible thing.  (gets stabbed) Yep.  I died.  No no no, that didn’t happen.  I mean, you dead.  Not technically, of course, but you still died. 

How did we get past it before, Prince?  We got past it before.  And I don’t know how.  …You can dodge roll it?  Why did that never occur to me?  I feel like a moron.  (You should.)  I feel like a huge moron.  Why did that never occur to me?

That—made no sense.  How did that even work?  (Don’t question your luck, just move on.)