Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Game Review/Commentary 4

[madimpossibledreamer]

 

What I’m trying to do—I’m trying to increase volume, which I think has been disabled.  How about that?  Hmm, it’ll do.

If I could only get there.  Well, you can…but it’s locked behind stone.  …Put that away.

(apparently I hum when I’m concentrating sometimes.  Weird.)

(also no, really, and good.  I say those a lot too.  I’m not going to transcribe everything partly because there’s just a lot of directional stuff or me trying to talk to the Prince and get him to do what I want him to, and partly because this is my phone microphone and it sucks.)

Where am I going…oh, right, the place with deadly things that I’m supposed to avoid.

Thanks game, I would never have known to avoid spiky poles.

What is drop again?  Oh, it’s square.  Like ‘put away your sword’.  I guess that makes sense.

What did I do, I ran and jumped…Oh.  I don’t think that was what I was supposed to do, but I guess it works.

I think it might be what I was trying to do, I just didn’t quite get it right.

(I missed a jump and died.)  /snorts I love the sigh. 

Fine, I’ll do it the way I’m supposed to.  I found a shortcut though!

I like this light on the ground.  (specifically, the way it falls through the ornate wood carving grates on the wall)

Really?  …Oh, you didn’t kill yourself.  Good job.  ‘Cause I would’ve been just as annoyed about you—really?

There are walls in the way, I can’t turn like that, what are you?

Ahaha!  Triumph!  Triumph is mine!

Oh boy.  Oh boy.  There’s a lot going on here.

I mean, it showed me this, but I don’t think I’m supposed to—I mean, I can try to go over there—Oh, that’s good.

It sounds pretty in here.  (water, I think???)

Can I hit that, or will I just fall to my death—I can hit that, okay.

You were looking that way, don’t even try to lie, Prince.  Prince.  Prince.

Why are you looking up?  You can’t jump up.  I mean, you can, but.

(Apparently ‘what are you’ is also a thing I say often, specifically when I’m frustrated with the character.)

That is a pole I can jump to, right?  …This jump is hard.  …Does this help in any way?  No, it does not.

At least he’s not stupid enough to jump off to his death, but.  Come on.

What even is ‘away’ from this ledge?  You keep telling me this, game, but how.  How?  Constantly giving me the prompt is not telling me where to move.  Not back, because it makes him walk backwards.  Not side, because it makes him do the same thing.  (spoiler alert, it is actually back, but you have to jump before he gets too far away to actually make the jump.)  So it’s either left or up.  Prince, pleeeease.  Please.  No.  Okay, I might have to look this up because this is driving me insane.  (typing ensues)

I’ve never used block in my life.  Oh, Special Action.  That’s good to know.  (I still haven’t used block in this game.  I’m good at this game.)

(pretty sure that wasn’t even English.  I think it was gibberish, though.)

Avoid spiky poles.  I like how that—just very sarcastic.  (I’m not sure that’s the word I’m thinking of, but I’m not sure what exactly I’m going for here.)

Yes, it says to jump, but how?  How, though.  You are completely useless, internet, for the first time in a while.  I’m going to go get help.  (I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong.)

Well, after a few tries of him jumping to his death, we did something, so there is that.

That was scary.

Double tap in a direction.  Ha.  Hahaha.  (to roommate) Thank you!  It worked!  *normal voice* What.  Why do I have to get there?  This is nuts.  This is actually nuts.  How.  Also why.

I’m guessing that’s too far and I’m going to die, but.  (yeah, you were right, there.)

That was a bit of a ways to fall.  I’m glad you’re slightly more sturdy than I give you credit for.  At least this is giving me a lot more practice in working with you.