The Willow Tapes (Tape 14)

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU (Xander is an FBI Agent.  Universe is vaguely based on Normal Again.)
Summary: Xander and Alex like to keep Agent Rosenberg in the loop.
Word Count: 330
Rating: Teen

         Will, you have known me for a while, so you’re aware that when I say this, it’s a rare occasion: I’m at a complete and total loss.
         Today, I came face to face with a harpy.  I’m not using that as a metaphor.  Her wingspan must have been as big as, oh, Da Vinci’s flying machine.  Her plumage honestly appeared a bit like a peacock.  Oh, and yes: when all the pictures show her upper body unclothed (well, whole body, really, but we don’t count feathers and fur as naked, now do we?), they are completely and entirely accurate.
         Honestly, I think she was as shocked as I was.  She hadn’t expected to run into a human, other than the boy the gang is after.  I’m not sure why she’s in on it (what do flying ladies bargain for?), and, well.  I didn’t expect to have part of a woman’s naked torso shoved in my face.  At all, really, given my luck with the ladies, but especially not today during work.
         She shrieked and clawed me and I am not exaggerating when every one of those talons is the length of a five-inch knife, razor-sharp and painful.  Fortunately, a quick switch to Alex, who had been taking everything in from a distance and therefore was not as prone to my general shock (it’s one thing to know without a doubt that non-humans exist, another to have the evidence in front of my very nose) and shock from the pain, allowed me to get off two rounds into center mass, just as she dove for the boy.  She screeched and got my arm again, but fortunately the pain was too much for her and she flew off.
         I feel I might indicate that there was some sort of hallucinogenic on the wannabe Wolverine weapon, as it might be more acceptable to Director Giles and the local law enforcement, but between you and me I’ve never been more sober in my life.