Baby's First Patrol (part two)
Sep. 27th, 2017 11:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madimpossibledreamerMain Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: Xander designs a few things to be used on patrolling, but he needs to test them.
Word Count: 1322
Rating: Gen
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Iron Man Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: Xander designs a few things to be used on patrolling, but he needs to test them.
Word Count: 1322
Rating: Gen
The demon turns out to be friendly and almost impossible to distinguish from human, and he decides to keep an eye on the…girl? It’d be kind of cool if good demons existed, and the Sorceror Supreme says that it’s actually fairly common in other dimensions and that he didn’t sense any malice, so it’s a decent guess. She doesn’t poison him, anyway, and is actually helpful unlike every other convenience store clerk in the known universe. He even flirts a little and she doesn’t threaten to kill him or otherwise do horrible things to him, so it’s okay.
It’s not until the very early morning (it’ll be another sleepless night, get a coffee for breakfast and a coffee at lunch and nap right after school unless there’s another study session in which case another coffee) that they actually find a group of vampires to test Xander’s Vampire Solutions on. Besides Angel, and he wasn’t going full out. He’s definitely getting more feedback (and more useful feedback) than he’d expected, so that’s something anyway.
By this point, the Vamp Repellent Perfume seems to be mostly gone (damn the human need to sweat), and even the Exoskeleton seems to be running out of charge, which he’d thought was a possible side effect but had no actual verification for, as it didn’t seem to count ‘charge’ time unless combat had occurred recently and definitely did nothing when not on a living organism. He ran some mental math even as he pushed himself into a jump, fists at the ready. It was a common enough Iron Man move, and it looked cool, only now he also understood it was to use gravity to his advantage when he came slamming back to Earth, which was even cooler, especially when even the enhanced strength bit seemed to be wavering a little. It apparently had approximately five hours of charge, according to his watch (which would probably need some external verification). He manages to punch through the vamp’s chest, which while it misses the heart is apparently enough to get the vamp to panic, throw him into the nearest tree (goodbye breath, I’ll miss you) and hightail it out of there. Unfortunately, absorbing the blow is apparently enough to make the rest of the shield waver and die, right as one of the other vampires decides to stop going after the other vampire and attack the nice-smelling human (or so the monsters keeps saying; Tony likes to attribute it to their undeniable charm).
He flashes a smile. The smile that says ‘you’re a reporter and you’ve just caught me at an event that I loathe but I have to pretend I like for PR because I do actually listen to Pepper every now and then and I’m actually better at this than people think’. “I don’t think we could negotiate this, could we?”
The vampire actually considers that for all of two seconds. “You could give me that thing you’re using.”
“Well, I have no well-crafted warranties that it won’t explode, and also you have no idea how to charge it,” he points out reasonably, edging toward the mausoleum so he can play tag if need be.
The vampire nods, as if this is a conversation they’re having over coffee and not during a standoff in which one of them might die. “Fair enough.” And then he charges.
There’s nothing between him and the bruises as he slams into the concrete wall, shaking his head to try to deal with the static suddenly filling all viewing screens. And then there’s suddenly a warm mouth nibbling at his neck, and some of the Tonys suddenly decide that this is a good time to get…distracted.
Oh my God, really? is quickly followed by Oh, I guess I’m bi now, but I can wait to have that sexuality panic and another panic about my sudden kinks that I apparently have until after I save my own life.
Although Buffy might be onto something, because being bitten by a vampire’s fangs? It hurts but it also feels good.
Probably a survival mechanism, Tony points out, and hell seriously is Tony really analyzing this now? Darwin. I bet with all the books and this, there’s humans they actually keep around as blood bags and care about a little. It just makes sense. Most vampires probably don’t care to go beyond the initial seduction ‘cause they’re complete bastards, but this one is a little more in control of his inner monster. Which, with that, and the interest in technology…a trade….
Xander gasps and tries feebly to push back, but a human’s strength against a demon’s? Not happening. Which…well, it’s insane. What he’s considering? Crazy. But on the other hand…
“Hey, not that I’m not interested in all of this going on…” he begins, and the sudden slack in feeding tells him that the vampire is listening, which is something. “….But I actually have another proposition for you, if you’re interested.”
“I’m listening,” the other states neutrally, slight curve in his lips against Xander’s neck (and he tries to not shiver at the feeling, tries not to engage any more than he already has) saying that he’s thinking this is just stalling until Angel can intervene.
“I have knowledge of the future. Magic. I’m planning on becoming a big name in computers and all sorts of pretty, shiny gadgets. If you wait a few years and don’t kill people or get staked by the Slayer, who’s a friend and would react badly by the way, I could give you a job. Call it a show of good faith.” He draws on all of Stark’s knowledge on being charming and making deals and actually being persuasive, and there’s a second’s hesitation.
Then very human lips are kissing his neck and the vampire is withdrawing. “Playing nice is oh-so-very boring. It’d be interesting to have something to look forward to.”
And then he’s running out of the park, and Xander’s holding a hand to his neck, feeling the blood trickle and the light-headedness actually hit, letting the mausoleum take most of his weight.
Running footsteps. Angel’s suddenly staring at him, concern in his eyes. “Are you insane? You just let him go!”
Xander shrugs. The echo to Steve is suddenly painful and annoying and he just wants to sleep. He’s probably low on blood sugar and blood and so food and liquids are probably what he needs, not sleep. “What was I going to fight him with? My equipment was out of juice. My words have no expiration date.” And then he just adds softly, “It worked.” Which Angel can’t argue with, so win. Any day in which he’s still alive is a victory.
Angel takes him home and only leaves his side to cook. He’s quiet and judgey but he doesn’t bother Xander as his thoughts grow alive with improvements, lets him mutter powered only by coffee into the recorder.
“Charge time appears to be five hours. Power connections are a probable factor. I’m noticing some sluggishness in response time for the strength and the shield, which probably means I need to rewire and recode. Perfume also wears off far too quickly. Maybe a spell can keep its scent alive for longer. Ask Ms. Calendar about that one. Otherwise, everything performed to specifications, which is pleasing. If I can fix these issues, further patrolling may be in my future, as well as further bruises, which…” he winces as he leans forward, because his back really is starting to hurt and he’ll probably need another Tylenol to deal with the pain. At least to get it to a level he can deal with. Unfortunately, Tony has a much higher pain tolerance than most people would think, especially when he starts whining about it. “…would be very, very nice. Overall, not a bad test run.”
From Angel’s snort, he still disagrees, but at least he’s not arguing about it.
It’s not until the very early morning (it’ll be another sleepless night, get a coffee for breakfast and a coffee at lunch and nap right after school unless there’s another study session in which case another coffee) that they actually find a group of vampires to test Xander’s Vampire Solutions on. Besides Angel, and he wasn’t going full out. He’s definitely getting more feedback (and more useful feedback) than he’d expected, so that’s something anyway.
By this point, the Vamp Repellent Perfume seems to be mostly gone (damn the human need to sweat), and even the Exoskeleton seems to be running out of charge, which he’d thought was a possible side effect but had no actual verification for, as it didn’t seem to count ‘charge’ time unless combat had occurred recently and definitely did nothing when not on a living organism. He ran some mental math even as he pushed himself into a jump, fists at the ready. It was a common enough Iron Man move, and it looked cool, only now he also understood it was to use gravity to his advantage when he came slamming back to Earth, which was even cooler, especially when even the enhanced strength bit seemed to be wavering a little. It apparently had approximately five hours of charge, according to his watch (which would probably need some external verification). He manages to punch through the vamp’s chest, which while it misses the heart is apparently enough to get the vamp to panic, throw him into the nearest tree (goodbye breath, I’ll miss you) and hightail it out of there. Unfortunately, absorbing the blow is apparently enough to make the rest of the shield waver and die, right as one of the other vampires decides to stop going after the other vampire and attack the nice-smelling human (or so the monsters keeps saying; Tony likes to attribute it to their undeniable charm).
He flashes a smile. The smile that says ‘you’re a reporter and you’ve just caught me at an event that I loathe but I have to pretend I like for PR because I do actually listen to Pepper every now and then and I’m actually better at this than people think’. “I don’t think we could negotiate this, could we?”
The vampire actually considers that for all of two seconds. “You could give me that thing you’re using.”
“Well, I have no well-crafted warranties that it won’t explode, and also you have no idea how to charge it,” he points out reasonably, edging toward the mausoleum so he can play tag if need be.
The vampire nods, as if this is a conversation they’re having over coffee and not during a standoff in which one of them might die. “Fair enough.” And then he charges.
There’s nothing between him and the bruises as he slams into the concrete wall, shaking his head to try to deal with the static suddenly filling all viewing screens. And then there’s suddenly a warm mouth nibbling at his neck, and some of the Tonys suddenly decide that this is a good time to get…distracted.
Oh my God, really? is quickly followed by Oh, I guess I’m bi now, but I can wait to have that sexuality panic and another panic about my sudden kinks that I apparently have until after I save my own life.
Although Buffy might be onto something, because being bitten by a vampire’s fangs? It hurts but it also feels good.
Probably a survival mechanism, Tony points out, and hell seriously is Tony really analyzing this now? Darwin. I bet with all the books and this, there’s humans they actually keep around as blood bags and care about a little. It just makes sense. Most vampires probably don’t care to go beyond the initial seduction ‘cause they’re complete bastards, but this one is a little more in control of his inner monster. Which, with that, and the interest in technology…a trade….
Xander gasps and tries feebly to push back, but a human’s strength against a demon’s? Not happening. Which…well, it’s insane. What he’s considering? Crazy. But on the other hand…
“Hey, not that I’m not interested in all of this going on…” he begins, and the sudden slack in feeding tells him that the vampire is listening, which is something. “….But I actually have another proposition for you, if you’re interested.”
“I’m listening,” the other states neutrally, slight curve in his lips against Xander’s neck (and he tries to not shiver at the feeling, tries not to engage any more than he already has) saying that he’s thinking this is just stalling until Angel can intervene.
“I have knowledge of the future. Magic. I’m planning on becoming a big name in computers and all sorts of pretty, shiny gadgets. If you wait a few years and don’t kill people or get staked by the Slayer, who’s a friend and would react badly by the way, I could give you a job. Call it a show of good faith.” He draws on all of Stark’s knowledge on being charming and making deals and actually being persuasive, and there’s a second’s hesitation.
Then very human lips are kissing his neck and the vampire is withdrawing. “Playing nice is oh-so-very boring. It’d be interesting to have something to look forward to.”
And then he’s running out of the park, and Xander’s holding a hand to his neck, feeling the blood trickle and the light-headedness actually hit, letting the mausoleum take most of his weight.
Running footsteps. Angel’s suddenly staring at him, concern in his eyes. “Are you insane? You just let him go!”
Xander shrugs. The echo to Steve is suddenly painful and annoying and he just wants to sleep. He’s probably low on blood sugar and blood and so food and liquids are probably what he needs, not sleep. “What was I going to fight him with? My equipment was out of juice. My words have no expiration date.” And then he just adds softly, “It worked.” Which Angel can’t argue with, so win. Any day in which he’s still alive is a victory.
Angel takes him home and only leaves his side to cook. He’s quiet and judgey but he doesn’t bother Xander as his thoughts grow alive with improvements, lets him mutter powered only by coffee into the recorder.
“Charge time appears to be five hours. Power connections are a probable factor. I’m noticing some sluggishness in response time for the strength and the shield, which probably means I need to rewire and recode. Perfume also wears off far too quickly. Maybe a spell can keep its scent alive for longer. Ask Ms. Calendar about that one. Otherwise, everything performed to specifications, which is pleasing. If I can fix these issues, further patrolling may be in my future, as well as further bruises, which…” he winces as he leans forward, because his back really is starting to hurt and he’ll probably need another Tylenol to deal with the pain. At least to get it to a level he can deal with. Unfortunately, Tony has a much higher pain tolerance than most people would think, especially when he starts whining about it. “…would be very, very nice. Overall, not a bad test run.”
From Angel’s snort, he still disagrees, but at least he’s not arguing about it.
