Death Note: Not Quite Edition

So, I'd seen the reviews and was not going to watch Death Note 2017, but a roommate wanted to watch it, and once it queued up I started laughing and was like, "Wait, this one?" I pretty much knew all the major plot points, but some things were better watching and some were not.  I will have spoilers, though the very beginning is fairly spoiler-lite and I clearly state where that will change.

( warning: practically an essay-review behind the cut )

*In summary: this could've been really cool but the writing held it back.