The Willow Tapes (Tapes 193, 194, 195, and 196)

Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU (Xander is an FBI Agent.  Universe is vaguely based on Normal Again.)
Summary: Xander and Alex like to keep Agent Rosenberg in the loop.
Word Count: 290
Rating: Gen

Willow, I’m starting to think that you gave me this mystic phone just because you get bored in your online hacking sniping wars.  I’m not sure how it works or what you plan to do with the information, but I’d ask that you use some common sense.  If you don’t have any, just steal some from Tara.  I’m sure she won’t mind.

I do appreciate it, though.  The fact that it works wherever, with or without service. 

I would like to meet Tara.  She sounds sweet, and like she makes you happy.  And respects your boundaries, and doesn’t belittle your interests.  All of these are important checklist items.

Sorry, I was interrupted.  Did you know that you can kill a vampire by severing the spine with a few well-placed headshots?  I didn’t.  You probably should tell Assistant Director Giles.  It might be useful later.  Also, it’s a lot harder than you’d think to kill a vampire with a sledgehammer.  I ran out of ammo—note to Willow, please get me more, I feel very vulnerable even with the ability to conjure myself a sword should I need it, and given my success rate the G-man will probably sign off on it even if he bitches.
Am I allowed to say that on the job?  I didn’t read, well, a huge portion of the Agent Handbook.
They had a B5 marathon on TV, and Alex was exhausted.  What can I say?
Anyway, it was an abandoned construction site, so there was a sledgehammer lying around.
I do have to say, I’m learning a lot about profiling in the field.  Things like it’s hard enough fighting monsters, so anyone going through the effort of violence to kill must really, really want it.