Let Down Your Walls
May. 18th, 2025 01:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madimpossibledreamerTheir choice of conversation was actually chosen at random but given later events it's actually thematically appropriate.
Main Points:
Star Trek (the 2009!movie verse) Cambion AU (New Genesis)
Summary: Restless, Leonard goes for a walk at night and finds yet more unexpected facts about Captain Kirk.
Word Count: 1512
Rating: Gen
Only to be confronted with the brat-turned-Captain his fool heart’s been trying to get him to moon over and fall into the trap, again, of becoming overly attached to someone who doesn’t care the same. He nearly ducks out and leaves, but something about the image doesn’t let him.
“Captain?” he asks, and the man whisks the glasses off fast enough it’d be a wonder if he didn’t break them. “Didn’t mean to intrude,” he adds gruffly, feeling a little unaccountably guilty for intruding and trying to ignore the fact that for a grown starship Captain the man being flustered is actually vaguely adorable.
“I, um.” He rallies fairly swiftly. “It’s fine. I just didn’t expect you to be the kind of guy to want to take walks during gamma shift. Much less near the windows where you can see…” Kirk waves vaguely at the windows with a view of space.
“Right back atcha, Captain,” Leonard drawls. “Don’t you usually have, what do they call it, alpha shift?”
Kirk shrugs, a little helplessly. “Couldn’t sleep. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
Leonard contemplates that in the mostly comfortable silence. He’d stubborn, sure, but he’s not above admitting when he’s been wrong. He’d taken the rumors at face value and hadn’t bothered to look deeper. The obvious point where he’d come aboard and Kirk had been obviously trying to make a good impression had, as far as he’d been concerned, just proved everything that was said about the guy. But here, his walls were down. He wasn’t putting on a show, caught off guard like this. “Don’t suppose you’d want to talk about it?”
All right, McCoy will be the first to admit it’s shocking, how quickly he’d changed his mind, but Kirk doesn’t have to look quite that incredulous. “I...didn’t think you’d care. It’s not like you’re my doc,” Kirk admits, quiet and vulnerable, and that’s true for the both of them. Not like he’s going to voice that out loud.
That stings. “Dammit, man, I’m a doctor. Caring’s what I do, even when it’s a damn foolhardy thing to do.”
For whatever reason, that prompts a genuine laugh, and damnably the man’s just that much prettier like this. “Didn’t mean to hurt your sense of professional pride.” The pause, this time, seems to be a little more about gathering his thoughts than a dismissal. Weighing how honest to be, maybe. He really is exhausted, and by the looks of it that’s all catching up to him all at once. “Sorry if this is too personal, Doctor, but...you don’t get to see your kid much, huh? How do you deal with it?”
Damn it all to hell. That hits close to home, and he doesn’t even have to ask to know why the kid wants to know, vulnerable blue eyes a step away from the hurt. “Badly,” he answers, the most honest he’s been in years. “I’m guessin’ something from your past caught up with you.”
That apparently offends a sense of pride he hadn’t been aware Kirk even had. “I do my best to be responsible. I don’t take advantage of my position, and I try to make sure not to leave anybody with anything other than memories of a good time.” He chuckles humorlessly, a little lost, a little broken. “Just takes one time of being too drunk to take precautions, I guess.”
If he’s telling the truth, he’s a flirt but doesn’t go much further. McCoy will still report his attractive behind if he gets the slightest whiff it’s a lie.
“That is how it works, yeah,” Leonard responds dryly, but Kirk thankfully doesn’t take offense. If anything, he seems to find the blunt sarcasm reassuring, not grating. Which, in turn, is a reaction McCoy hasn’t dealt with in years. Encouraged, he adds, “So I guess that means you know you deal with it by stargazin’, readin’ scientific journals, and wearin’ glasses.”
The younger man flushes a pretty pink. “I don’t…technically have to wear them, but it gets worse at night and when I read, and, well…” He gestures at the padd. “I do get a little strain and a headache, and seeing as I have one already and Boyce would probably be on my ass if I don’t at least try to take care of myself, I try to remember.” There he goes just droppin’ the name of one of the best doctors currently living like it’s no big deal.
He’s really self-conscious about the glasses, and Leonard’s tired enough that he finds himself saying, “I wouldn’t worry too much on account of them makin’ you look more handsome,” before he means to. Not that he’d really intended to say anything at all.
They stare at each other in a moment of flustered silence. McCoy refuses to run. It’d only make him look worse. The slow, pleased smile isn’t the worst reaction he could’ve had, but it isn’t the ideal McCoy had been aiming for, either (which probably would’ve been the man not hearing the remark in the first place).
“That makes me feel a little better, yeah. Thanks.” He shrugs, glancing back at the stars, before looking back, somehow unfairly more energized than he’d been. “I’ve already re-read your papers and Dr. Marcus’, so I figured I’d catch up on some of Dr. Adam’s work. Not that we’re probably heading there, unless you want to, but…” he trails off.
“Figured some dry reading would put you to sleep?” Leonard guesses, trying not to feel overly pleased that this enigmatic Captain would actually choose to re-read(!) any of Leonard’s work.
Kirk’s still smiling like this is some kind of joke they’re both sharing. “Reports are boring. The advancement of science is interesting,” he insists, like this is a perfectly normal statement that anyone might agree with, and with the enthusiasm he’s just warming to the theme. “Besides, more humane treatment of criminals is great. Have you read about some of the for-profit prisons they had back in the olden days? Our ancestors might’ve had some cool cultural things, like the music,” he waves vaguely at the gadget it’s playing from, “...but man was some of it barbaric.”
“Not sure this ain’t.” Leonard finally decides to sit, because Kirk looks intrigued and it’s been a good long while since he’s had the chance to give a lecture. Not that he’d ever wanted to be a teacher in charge of a flock of snot-nosed brats, but rather than the slacker kid that won’t sit through the lecture, Kirk actually looks glued to his seat. “Some of the treatments he’s been recommending lately reek of mind control.”
Kirk actually looks intrigued and thoughtful. “Okay, you’re going to have to explain that one. How’s it at all different from the way they used to use hypnosis, for example to treat addictions?”
He finds his blood racing. He hasn’t had anyone who dared argue back in years, he realizes. It’s always been ‘yes, Doctor’. “Keep in mind it’s not like I specialized in psychiatry,” he starts, but that doesn’t even seem to phase the Captain, who seems actually genuinely interested in what McCoy has to say, actually leaning in to listen.
Main Points:
Star Trek (the 2009!movie verse) Cambion AU (New Genesis)
Summary: Restless, Leonard goes for a walk at night and finds yet more unexpected facts about Captain Kirk.
Word Count: 1512
Rating: Gen
Leonard’s feeling restless. Far as he’s concerned, that’s nothing new, closer to an old friend than any actual flesh-and-blood human being, but here it’s almost unbearable. Thoughts chase themselves in circles, the too-pretty-for-his-own-good Captain, the state of the art medical facilities, the prospect of getting to identify and treat all new and unknown diseases...and equally, the dangers of only having a sheet of metal between himself and oblivion, the fact that he’d have to put up with shuttles or a transporter anytime he wanted to get off this goddamn ship, the fact that after last time his heart really should know damn well better. With a growl, he finally gets up. Sometimes an early morning jog had been enough to help. It’ll all be metal corridors, but at least they’re pretty metal corridors, and during what any sane person calls ‘nighttime’ and these ‘Fleet fools call ‘gamma shift’ they do at least turn down the glaring brightness of the lights. He passes a few crewmembers in the halls, who respectfully acknowledge his presence but don’t try to jaw his ear off like his first introductions and don’t seem to be staring quite as much. A blessing, really, since he’s barely sociable at the best of times. He’s starting to get utterly lost and is trying to decide how he feels about that when he hears music coming from what he vaguely recognizes as one of the rec rooms he’d been shown on the earlier tour. Not something that would usually draw his attention, other than the fact that the music is utterly ancient. Twenty-first and sometimes twentieth century, even. He figures anyone up at this hour can’t complain about the company and lets his curiosity carry him into the room.
Only to be confronted with the brat-turned-Captain his fool heart’s been trying to get him to moon over and fall into the trap, again, of becoming overly attached to someone who doesn’t care the same. He nearly ducks out and leaves, but something about the image doesn’t let him.
“Captain?” he asks, and the man whisks the glasses off fast enough it’d be a wonder if he didn’t break them. “Didn’t mean to intrude,” he adds gruffly, feeling a little unaccountably guilty for intruding and trying to ignore the fact that for a grown starship Captain the man being flustered is actually vaguely adorable.
“I, um.” He rallies fairly swiftly. “It’s fine. I just didn’t expect you to be the kind of guy to want to take walks during gamma shift. Much less near the windows where you can see…” Kirk waves vaguely at the windows with a view of space.
“Right back atcha, Captain,” Leonard drawls. “Don’t you usually have, what do they call it, alpha shift?”
Kirk shrugs, a little helplessly. “Couldn’t sleep. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
Leonard contemplates that in the mostly comfortable silence. He’d stubborn, sure, but he’s not above admitting when he’s been wrong. He’d taken the rumors at face value and hadn’t bothered to look deeper. The obvious point where he’d come aboard and Kirk had been obviously trying to make a good impression had, as far as he’d been concerned, just proved everything that was said about the guy. But here, his walls were down. He wasn’t putting on a show, caught off guard like this. “Don’t suppose you’d want to talk about it?”
All right, McCoy will be the first to admit it’s shocking, how quickly he’d changed his mind, but Kirk doesn’t have to look quite that incredulous. “I...didn’t think you’d care. It’s not like you’re my doc,” Kirk admits, quiet and vulnerable, and that’s true for the both of them. Not like he’s going to voice that out loud.
That stings. “Dammit, man, I’m a doctor. Caring’s what I do, even when it’s a damn foolhardy thing to do.”
For whatever reason, that prompts a genuine laugh, and damnably the man’s just that much prettier like this. “Didn’t mean to hurt your sense of professional pride.” The pause, this time, seems to be a little more about gathering his thoughts than a dismissal. Weighing how honest to be, maybe. He really is exhausted, and by the looks of it that’s all catching up to him all at once. “Sorry if this is too personal, Doctor, but...you don’t get to see your kid much, huh? How do you deal with it?”
Damn it all to hell. That hits close to home, and he doesn’t even have to ask to know why the kid wants to know, vulnerable blue eyes a step away from the hurt. “Badly,” he answers, the most honest he’s been in years. “I’m guessin’ something from your past caught up with you.”
That apparently offends a sense of pride he hadn’t been aware Kirk even had. “I do my best to be responsible. I don’t take advantage of my position, and I try to make sure not to leave anybody with anything other than memories of a good time.” He chuckles humorlessly, a little lost, a little broken. “Just takes one time of being too drunk to take precautions, I guess.”
If he’s telling the truth, he’s a flirt but doesn’t go much further. McCoy will still report his attractive behind if he gets the slightest whiff it’s a lie.
“That is how it works, yeah,” Leonard responds dryly, but Kirk thankfully doesn’t take offense. If anything, he seems to find the blunt sarcasm reassuring, not grating. Which, in turn, is a reaction McCoy hasn’t dealt with in years. Encouraged, he adds, “So I guess that means you know you deal with it by stargazin’, readin’ scientific journals, and wearin’ glasses.”
The younger man flushes a pretty pink. “I don’t…technically have to wear them, but it gets worse at night and when I read, and, well…” He gestures at the padd. “I do get a little strain and a headache, and seeing as I have one already and Boyce would probably be on my ass if I don’t at least try to take care of myself, I try to remember.” There he goes just droppin’ the name of one of the best doctors currently living like it’s no big deal.
He’s really self-conscious about the glasses, and Leonard’s tired enough that he finds himself saying, “I wouldn’t worry too much on account of them makin’ you look more handsome,” before he means to. Not that he’d really intended to say anything at all.
They stare at each other in a moment of flustered silence. McCoy refuses to run. It’d only make him look worse. The slow, pleased smile isn’t the worst reaction he could’ve had, but it isn’t the ideal McCoy had been aiming for, either (which probably would’ve been the man not hearing the remark in the first place).
“That makes me feel a little better, yeah. Thanks.” He shrugs, glancing back at the stars, before looking back, somehow unfairly more energized than he’d been. “I’ve already re-read your papers and Dr. Marcus’, so I figured I’d catch up on some of Dr. Adam’s work. Not that we’re probably heading there, unless you want to, but…” he trails off.
“Figured some dry reading would put you to sleep?” Leonard guesses, trying not to feel overly pleased that this enigmatic Captain would actually choose to re-read(!) any of Leonard’s work.
Kirk’s still smiling like this is some kind of joke they’re both sharing. “Reports are boring. The advancement of science is interesting,” he insists, like this is a perfectly normal statement that anyone might agree with, and with the enthusiasm he’s just warming to the theme. “Besides, more humane treatment of criminals is great. Have you read about some of the for-profit prisons they had back in the olden days? Our ancestors might’ve had some cool cultural things, like the music,” he waves vaguely at the gadget it’s playing from, “...but man was some of it barbaric.”
“Not sure this ain’t.” Leonard finally decides to sit, because Kirk looks intrigued and it’s been a good long while since he’s had the chance to give a lecture. Not that he’d ever wanted to be a teacher in charge of a flock of snot-nosed brats, but rather than the slacker kid that won’t sit through the lecture, Kirk actually looks glued to his seat. “Some of the treatments he’s been recommending lately reek of mind control.”
Kirk actually looks intrigued and thoughtful. “Okay, you’re going to have to explain that one. How’s it at all different from the way they used to use hypnosis, for example to treat addictions?”
He finds his blood racing. He hasn’t had anyone who dared argue back in years, he realizes. It’s always been ‘yes, Doctor’. “Keep in mind it’s not like I specialized in psychiatry,” he starts, but that doesn’t even seem to phase the Captain, who seems actually genuinely interested in what McCoy has to say, actually leaning in to listen.
