madimpossibledreamer

A sports-themed section wouldn’t be complete without this song.

Main Points:
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure/Buffy the Vampire Slayer AU
Chapter Summary: The crew continues to play a ball game against a bunch of bloodthirsty gods.
Word Count: 1272
Rating: Teen
Note: HERE THERE PROBABLY BE BUFFY/JJBA SPOILERS

         Play #7: She doesn’t remember much of the impact. She just remembers hearing it, that bone-shattering crunch, and looking at Mr. Brown’s arm, which is either dislocated or broken. She doesn’t realize she’s crying or apologizing until she realizes the hamon user keeps telling her she has nothing to apologize for.
         It’s impossible to tell how long it’s been, or where the ball went after that, or anything. She’s pretty sure they didn’t manage to score a goal here, though, given the numbers at the end, so she’ll count herself lucky, she supposes. It doesn’t matter if she knows exactly what happened as long as it doesn’t get her friends killed or anything.
         Play #8: Darling hadn’t been wrong guessing about the opposing team’s teamwork—well, half of it. Camazotz isn’t talking to anyone, even after he supposedly can, and he’ll go for the ball if it goes especially high, which means passing over long distances gets really tricky, and he just...doesn’t pass. Ever. Though he’ll just hang onto the ball practically the entire length of the field just to go for a goal, only between her and Mr. Brown they’ve managed to keep him from scoring any other goals later. Whisper flying in front of the goal at the right moment turns out to be as effective as she’d envisioned.
         Play #9: It turns out that while Mr. Brown is of average height he can jump to unreasonable heights. This probably has to do with the hamon, but she doesn’t have the time to stare at his feet to confirm, and it doesn’t occur to her to ask, later, because there’s more going on that needs her attention.
         Play #10: One of their goals, or maybe one of the times they manage to do a really good play, or something (she’s not particularly sure which one) ticks Jacawitz off, so he starts trying the pillar of fire trick again, only he manages to singe Lord Kisin. Whose face goes expressionless, which is terrifying. He raises a hand, and apparently he’s trained his dogs so well that they can interpret minor gestures, because Jacawitz sits the rest of the match with one of his wings held firmly in one of the dog’s mouths. If it bites down even a little bit that God of Death won’t be flying for a while. It might be even more humiliating than if the wing had just been torn off. Of course, he might not be of much use that way. The match isn’t further interrupted, though Cabrakan moves closer to his fellow Lord of Death and makes sure to yawn using even more teeth than before.
         Play #11: Whisper blocking the goal apparently is so infuriating that Camazotz goes chasing him up and down the field. At least it’s keeping one of the opponents busy? Though it means she and Mr. Brown have to work extra hard to prevent goals in the meantime.
         Play #12: In a momentary fit of...something? Defiance? Getting in the spirit of things? Darling grabs some of the mud (because it seems the sun isn’t enough to have dried that up, which makes parts slippery, which she’s pretty sure was part of the inspiration, because she’s tired of falling on her butt) and smears it over her cheeks. Von Stroheim even cheers her on (well, she does for every goal, but she’s especially enthusiastic this time). Darling feels a little silly, but suspects this sort of ‘feeling part of the team’ might be part of the reason people play sports.
         Play #13: Their second goal (or is it their first?) also happens with a bit of subterfuge. Specifically, Awilix, probably frustrated that she can’t keep messing with Camazotz, takes the ball and runs all over the field for too long. Darling isn’t sure what she’s doing and just kind of stays out of her way.
         Buluc Chabtan manages to grab her tail and haul her around for a bit, but she manages to get him to toss her in a direction and then starts running toward the other end of the field again, running between Tohil’s legs. When she manages to get a goal, it’s to everyone’s surprise, because Darling had pretty much given up on playing the game and she’s pretty sure she’s not the only one, though the Lords of Death would never admit it. Cabrakan takes a minute to even announce it, and he can’t quite manage the exhausted (or is it just bored?) tone this time. It’s just kind of a blank shock. “Outsiders-Two,” or maybe “Outsiders-One.”
         Play #14: Zipacna is kind of slow, though his tail does a decent job tripping friend and foe alike if they run by him. Lord Kisin has taken to throwing the ball past him to make Darling or the others run past if they want the ball, a move that is slowly infuriating the Lord of Death more and more. He’s practiced enough at it he probably chose one of the brothers for this exact purpose. He nearly charges his brother when Cabrakan announces that he’s just doing pitifully, but can’t quite manage to scramble up the stone.
         Play #15: This is when Darling becomes fairly certain that Tohil is messing with the weather, because come on, a sudden cloud casting a shadow right when she needs to see? That’s not normal. It’s not enough to win them the game, but it is irritating.
         Play #16: The Captain stays utterly professional, but then, Darling had expected nothing less. She’s given up on talking normally, though, and announces everything she’s planning in increasingly more jargon-filled statements, which for whatever reason Balam seems to be following perfectly, turning on a dime and moving as if he magically understands how he’s being directed. Maybe he does, or maybe he’s just a sports fan. It’s baffling to her, and Mr. Brown seems to be following less than half of what’s being said, though he’s trying. Most of it doesn’t seem to be with them as the goalkeepers in mind, though, so Darling doesn’t feel like as much of a failure, and everyone seems to have given up on the Queen of the Night playing anything resembling a real match.
         Play #17: Darling’s really excited because for once she managed to be useful, she managed to catch the ball, when it opens his eyes and grins at her. “So very sorry, but could you return me to my body? I can’t drink this way.”
         She’s a little too stunned to argue when she glances up and sees Lord Akan’s body staggering drunkenly in her direction, blood pouring from the place where the head should have been. He hadn’t seemed drunk before, despite how much alcohol he’d consumed while running, and he and Lord Kisin seemed to coordinate really well. Did he actually decapitate himself? Unfortunately, it turns out that this is the single moment of solid teamwork the inhabitants of Xibalba manage to put together, because the ‘ball’ that Buluc Chabtan had been running with down the length of the field wasn’t a ball at all and he and Lord Akan effectively managed to distract her and Lord Kisin had even managed to rope Tohil in for a pass. She’s not sure where exactly Camazotz is at the time, but Whisper doesn’t manage to get in the way in time. It’s painful to hear the announcement of “Xibalba-Two”.
         “Stop! Stop the match!” Everyone freezes in place, like this is some game of Simon Says, and Darling actually gets glared at by one of the jaguars when momentum has her going on for two more steps.