An Earthly Star

[madimpossibledreamer]

waffled on his theme, finally decided on the hopeful theme, though what he plays is probably closer to the Hero Theme (Tatsuya's) or a Quest Battle.

Main Points:
Ace Attorney/Persona 4 AU
Chapter Summary: Apollo's library notes on what he finds on Klavier's Arcana and Persona.
Word Count: 755
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Klavier/Apollo
warning: briefly mentions depression; if you need it please get help!  the resources are there for you to use because people care!

        I used to hate Klavier’s annoying tanned German rockstar face.  Now, uh.  Now it’s kind of the opposite.  Actually, it was probably always a little bit of the opposite, only I was so annoyed by my crush I couldn’t handle it.  The fact that Klavier’s as flawed as the rest of us helped, and it’s…um.  It’s a really good thing that Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth were able to help him break out of his contract so he’s not going to be sued for kissing me.
        Anyway.
        It’s really cliché and probably more than a little sappy, but Klavier’s the Star.  The fact that he’s also a rockstar and there’s probably a pun in there somewhere is not lost on me, thanks.  He comes off as obnoxiously cheerful, sometimes, and when he’s happy, that’s actually pretty sincere.  He genuinely wants to see people smile.  The courage to shine in the darkness even if it’d be easier not to, and takes so much of your energy, as a star.  He’s free with his own smiles, his money, his time, his attention, his songs.  Other than Athena, he’s the most optimistic of all of us, and he just keeps giving and giving and giving that hope.  The thing is, sometimes the stars can be hidden by the clouds, and sometimes, Klavier can be a walking thundercloud all his own, though he desperately tries to keep all of that to himself.  I think it’s a genuine desire to try to stop himself from becoming a burden, not lingering stuff from his contract.
        He knows a lot of what people like (people not me, obviously) is shallow.  He’s painfully aware of how pretty he is, but if it makes other people happy, like Athena, he’d burn himself up.
        Honestly, that’s kind of what he was doing, and why he needed a hiatus.  He was getting desperate, like there was a black hole that just kept sucking out all the light and not letting anything escape.  So his anxiety and depression (which manifested as guilt and hopelessness) kind of…rose up to try to swallow him whole.  I wouldn’t go as far as to say he’s doing better now, but it’s not that easy, not that fast.  There’s…light again, now, as ridiculously poetic as that sounds.  I guess he brings it out of me, though obviously I’m never telling anyone.  Especially him.  He wouldn’t be mean about it, even with the teasing, but…I’m embarrassed enough when no one knows.
        His secondary Arcana are Lovers (he’s made a lot of bigger, Adult decisions than most of us, and while that’s super useful, I worry about him, plus he is every bit as much a romantic as Athena, plus he’s pretty good generally when it’s not one of his Bad Days at getting people to get along and making choices), Sun (again, he shines as a star, he’s accomplished a lot, he’s joyful and helps us get through the worst, sadly because he’s had practice, and he’s surprisingly really thoughtful and deep when he feels like it), Devil (I want to say the man’s just…pure temptation, but then, I’m a little biased; he can be materialistic, though it’s mostly to fill the hole when he’s being anxious, and not all of his ideas are good ideas, no matter how much he might try to convince you otherwise), and Fortune (this is getting unreal, though yet again it manifests differently—he’s really aware of how life can take these twists and turns and so he’s more aware than any of us of the turning wheels of fate).
        His initial Persona is Baldr.  One of the books lists him as an equivalent to Apollo which is fascinating if a little weird.  As per Clay’s many rants, though, the Sun is just another star.  (I hope it’s just some weird ‘sun gods are equivalent’ thing because otherwise it could be counted as egomania which is…less than ideal.  Also, Norse, which is probably more relavant myth-wise than the rest of us given that he’s German.  Brave, shining, the hope of the gods.  Almost everything in the world didn’t want to hurt him, but—and this is probably a cultural clash thing, because they probably didn’t have any associations with the plant—but he died by mistletoe.  Which could probably be described as ‘romantic in the tragic sense’.  Also, a jealous or simply mischievous god was involved (Loki).  His death was what started the path to Ragnarok.  I refuse to let Klavier follow his mythological Persona’s path, though.