I'll Try Again

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points:
Buffy/Devil May Cry
Chapter Summary: Xander needs to be persuaded he's not the monster.
Word Count: 2593
Rating: Teen, complete with Xander Teen Angst!  But with a happy ending this time!

 

           “Richard Dowell went missing,” Alvin explains, enjoying ghostchef’s offerings with as much appetite as he can muster given the company.  It still feels a little empty, since they haven’t actually seen Xander physically in weeks.  “He agreed to full custody rights, dropped the case.  The police think he realized they were going to find evidence of a cult and he’d end up in prison.  Two police officers who gave a report that there was nothing to see are under investigation.  As to the lawyer he’d hired and the rest of the cultists who’d been possessed, they woke up with no memory.  They’re all being cared for through exit counseling, and there’s definite evidence of cult behavior, so the Order of the Eightfold Unity actually been labeled as a dangerous cult by the police.  They’re not reporting this, but we managed to find evidence that at least one former member has committed suicide—though I’ve read that’s normal even for fully quote-unquote ‘natural’ cults.”
           Willow would be worried about Xander on that front if they hadn’t seen evidence that he’d been there, if only for a second or two when no one was watching.
           “Documents indicate they were searching for something, and given Arianna’s talent for finding things we think they were hoping she’d lead them to their ‘treasure’, whatever that means.  A lot of it was destroyed during the flight, though, so we won’t know anything more unless they turn up again.”  Alvin’s voice becomes a slight growl at the end, and Willow has to agree.  They better not if they know what’s good for them.
           “Is Xander still…” he begins, trailing off as Buffy and Willow nod unhappily.
           “Three new books for me, a rare volume on demons for Giles, and a new pair of boots and a silver cross necklace for Buffy.”  He’s just been leaving gifts outside their door.  It feels like he’s begging for their forgiveness, except he can’t bring himself to actually take it, or believe he deserves it.  “And Ari’s been by every day.  Every single time she looks so excited, and every single time you see her face fall…”  It’s breaking her heart all over again.
           “We’ve been working on something, though,” Buffy confides with a smile, and she’s amazing.  How she can even have a smile on her face is absolutely incredible, because Willow doesn’t have the strength to manage that.  She starts to explain the plan, all enthusiasm, and all Willow can do is pray to the Goddess that it’ll work.

           A few days and a book later, they finally manage to catch him.  Jane had allowed Ari a full day off school, and another when the first hadn’t worked, and she waited, determined and ready, within sight of their doors.  Nerida’s more than willing to help hide them from Xander’s senses.  Even if it had been hours, the girl didn’t move a muscle, face serious, until finally she bursts into motion, running down the hallway at top speed, launching herself at him before he can react.  The spikes disappear before she can impale herself on them, transforming into soft human skin.  The manacle on his tail falls off entirely as the tail melts away, while the ones on his arms and legs slip.  He hadn’t bothered to take those off the whole time.  Hadn’t bothered with the fingernail polish, either, though most of it’s gone.
           “Ari, you shouldn’t—” he begins, voice broken, and then Willow slams into him, too, hugging the two of them so tight she’s not sure whether either of them can breathe, but she’s too scared to let go.  Buffy’s not far behind, and the ambush hug…sort of succeeds.
           Xander’s strong enough he could probably lift them all off the ground for a bit, but instead he crumples, falling to his knees.
           “You protected us, but I still haven’t protected you from the bad feelings, and we need to eat ice cream and watch Lion King,” she insists fiercely.
           “Sorry, Xander, we started without you,” Buffy states with a smirk, flexing, which augh no not that she’d be opposed Buffy’s nice and all but she’s trying to get over Xander and innuendoes to him are not helping!  This isn’t what he needs right now!
           “We’re helping,” Nerida finally speaks up.  “And would be more than happy to help you, too.  We’ve had centuries of experience adapting to living among humans, and you are hardly the first to be controlled against your will.”
           “I’ve got a nice new bruise.”  Willow rolls up her pant leg enough to show him—thankfully it was on her shin, or this would be even more awkward.  She’s proud of that bruise.  She earned it.  “I was reckless.  I shouldn’t have been out there, not yet.  I’m glad I was, because I did help, but I got lucky it was someone who cared about me coming at me with a sword and not one of the cultists who would’ve just sliced my throat.”  She’s not sure if that made it better or worse, but she keeps going.  “I’m learning magic the slow, boring way again and Kryvi’s nice enough to help with my swordplay, just in case I get exhausted and there are still monsters.”
           “Your self control is rather remarkable.”  Giles.  He wasn’t supposed to be here; he said he was checking out the rare bookstore…he lied?  “Since meeting you I had feared this outcome for so long, and yet, filled with a blinding rage, you were unable to attack with everything you had.”  Xander’s staring, wide-eyed and disbelieving, as Giles walks toward him and actually claps him on the back.  “It is rare that I admit such, but I was wrong about you.”
           Xander starts laughing hysterically, shivering in their arms.  Somewhere along the line, it becomes tears.

           It takes a while for Xander to calm down, but eventually he does, pushing a little at them weakly to get them to get off, and Willow does with a glare.  “If you disappear on me again, I will hunt you down.  Again.”
           He chuckles weakly.  It’s still a little broken, but he is genuinely amused.  “Willow, I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”
           “I also have an apology to make,” Giles states, and Xander whips his head around to look at their resident adult.  “It’s not exactly my forte, but training is, well, what I was trained for, and I know you’ve remarked on my chaos sorcerer days.  I did study demonology at that point.  Many devils are resistant to other demonic powers.  Had I attempted to train you, rather than letting my hubris and prejudice rule my decisions, this all might have been avoided.”  Oh!  Oh.
           “Or maybe if you’d shown me some sort of mental shielding spell.”  She’s seen that one in one of the books.
           Giles allows himself a small, amused smile.  He really is unfreezing, a little.  “That one did occur to me, after you’d already gone to storm the compound single-handedly.  There is a reason that’s the first spell I taught you when we resumed our lessons and increased the frequency of the lessons.”
           “…So what you’re saying is, we all messed up.”  And there it is.  There’s her Xa—the Xander she knows.  Or rather, the one that she’s going to get to know, rather than continuing to hold onto a six-year old’s dream.
           “’cludin’ me,” Kryvi adds.  “A little temporary pain don’t matter.  Should’ve considered yer human heart.”  He’d phased through the wall at some point.
           “Okay.  Okay.”  More to himself than anything, but still.  If he’s getting it through his head, that’s something.
           “Now, you’re not going to run off when you get in a good hit during sparring, right?” Buffy asks to make sure, and he stills halfway through getting to his feet before moving again, helping Ari to her feet.  She doesn’t let go of his hand once she’s up, but it doesn’t look like he minds.
           “I can’t promise I won’t panic, but…no.  I’m done with running like this.”  He glances at them each in turn.  “That’s a promise.”
           “We all make mistakes.  Mom says that’s how we learn.”  Apparently Ari felt a little left out, but seriously, for a kid, she’s wise.
           “Your momma’s smart,” Xander agrees.
           “I should go call Sullivan.”  Giles is already out of the room before any of them can say anything.
           “What the hell?” Xander asks, before realizing, “Uhh, Ari, don’t repeat that word until you’re old enough to know what it means.  It’s a cursed word that will make your mom think you shouldn’t hang out with me anymore because I’m a bad influence.”
           She nods solemnly, little face squinting a little in concentration.  “I won’t ever say it then.”
           “We missed our Xander-shaped friend,” Willow adds, because he’s the goof who would forget about that, and this time the grin is a little stronger.
           “I got it already.  Sheesh.”  Now that he’s calmed down, he’s getting a little embarrassed.
           “I don’t think you do.”  Buffy’s kind of amused, but then, the idea had been hers.  “Any of this look different to you?”  She gestures at their surroundings.  He clearly hadn’t been paying attention when he’d been gone.
           It only takes him a few seconds.  “You’ve…all been fixing up the place?” he answers hesitantly, like he’s waiting for the teacher to call him an idiot, only Buffy just beams instead.
           “It’s our home too.”  He sniffs and tries very hard to look like he’s not on the verge of crying again.
           Nerida shrugs.  “We get bored.  It’s nice to have a project.”
           The Slayer continues.  “I hope you don’t mind; I already told them you figured out the name of your father.  I think Punga—your devil ray fan—heard, but he only shared with Giles for whatever reason.”
           “Oh, uh.”  Now he’s definitely embarrassed, hand not holding the kid’s reaching up to rub at the back of his head.  “Syuvai.  They kept talking about the ‘potency of the blood of the son of Syuvai’.”
           “I can see the resemblance,” the Fae agrees.  “I never dealt with the devil personally, but he did contact the Seelie Court personally and argued for the spirit of cooperation.  We’d never had many dealings with the…Underworld Dimensions,” she amends last minute, with a glance at the kid, “…certainly not any where we treated as equals.  It was that same respect that earned your place of honor among Lord Tristan’s people, Alexander Syuvai.”
           “The devil who saved humanity.  Not bad.”  Buffy’s trying to prove she’d been listening, Willow suspects, but also casts an evaluating eye.
           “He already saved me!” Ari brags, chest puffing out with pride.
           “Xander Syuvai.  Xander Syuvai.”  Willow thinks about it for a moment.  “I like it.”
           “Stop,” he whines.  “I don’t…I really don’t deserve…”
           “None of us knew your lawyer friend.  Neither of us thought about protecting Jane’s brain from itself, and Giles wouldn’t have bothered.”  Buffy doesn’t add they wouldn’t even be in the business of helping people if not for him.
           “We just need to learn our powers better.  It’s inexperience,” Willow suggests, and she’s definitely looking forward to that part of it.
           He sighs and shakes his head.  “I think you’re all bigger daredevils than I am, just so you know.”
           “Nobody ever said, ‘oh, demons, they’re big fuzzy pushovers’.” Kryvi sounds amused, leaning against the wall in a—that’s where she’d seen that pose before!  Xander shares this crossed-arms crossed-legs wall lean.  Who did it first, though, that’s the question.
           “I hate the thought of any of you getting hurt,” their half-devil half growls, and at a hand squeeze glances down at the arm he’s probably not getting back for a while.  “That goes double for you, little lioness.”
           “You protected me.  And now I have an elf and a troll and a spiky dragon friend.”  It’s…not that she’s making light of it.  Not for the first time, Willow’s left wondering how much the little girl sees.
           “We’re in a dangerous line of work, but we’ll master our powers and we’ll be more careful,” the Slayer states firmly.  “When we get hurt, we’ll heal that and learn a lesson to avoid it for next time.”
           He sighs, closing his eyes, but nods all the same.
           Giles joins them as they start the movie, radiating a smug air, but refuses to answer any questions.  When there’s a knock at the front door, though, he immediately stands.
           “I arranged for a special delivery,” he explains.  “You’ll want to pause the film.”
           Buffy leans over and stage-whispers, “I think Giles might be weirder than all of us combined.”
           Willow considers that.  “…You’re probably right.”
           Alisha rushes in, pulling him into yet another hug, and he really has no idea what to do with any of them at this point.  “I am so glad you’re okay.”  Ari starts bouncing on the cushions beside him.
           “I get stabbed and everyone’s worried but gets over it, no big deal; I disappear for two weeks and everyone’s out of their minds with worry.”  It sounds like this is the first time this is occurring to him.  He pats the lioness reassuringly when he feels her little hand clutch at his.
           “We were taking our cues from you, you know.  We don’t know what you’re capable of, so even if getting wounded was a bigger deal than you let on, we wouldn’t know.  Suspect, maybe, but…you actually took this one seriously, so we did too,” the cop explains.  “But enough of that.  I’ve got a surprise for you.”
           “I didn’t earn any of this,” he tries to argue, and Willow pats his arm.
           “Did you think about maybe we enjoy spoiling you?”  He’s got absolutely no answer for that.
           “Tristan Wellington helped.  Over the centuries I guess his people have had to forge some sort of identification to participate in human civilization.  I feel a little weird about it, but it’s not like there’s some sort of Fae immigration program, and…you need some kind of stability.”  She hands over—that looks like a passport.
           Xander takes it reverentially in shaking hands.  “I didn’t…I don’t…”  It takes Willow a moment to realize why he’s so adamant he doesn’t deserve any of this.  He’d been casual about the mention of tarukwul, the name-change ceremony thing, but he had said you had to distinguish yourself in some way, so it had to be a bigger cultural thing than he’d suggested.
           “Tristan Wellington thinks you deserve this.  So, I’m sure, does a certain little lady at your side.”  She smiles warmly at Ari, who beams back, kicking her little legs.  Xander remains uncharacteristically quiet.
           “I also remember a certain someone mentioning ice cream,” she continues, and Ari screams excitedly at his side.  He winces.  Sometimes increased hearing is a bit of a pain.  “We can redo your fingernails!” she realizes, grinning, and he mentally resigns himself to it.  It’s probably going to look sloppy and unprofessional but he’d rather be stabbed again than remove it, particularly if she’s going to be haunting this place from now on.
           “That’s not the only thing.  Here’s some information on how to get a motorcycle license.  You’ll need to attend the class and apply for the license, though I’ll pay for it—”  It’s her turn to be surprised as he reels her in for a one-armed hug.  “And I can’t afford an actual motorcycle.”
           “I can get a ride,” Xander waves that off, grinning widely, and it’s then that Willow knows—he’s not okay now, but he will be.