madimpossibledreamer

Warning: the Prince keeps deciding jumping to his death is a valid option here so we do discuss suicidal tendencies. If you're feeling that low, talk to someone and get help. I'm not making fun here, just seeing parallels to steins;gate, Captain Jack (Harkness, of course, there is no other kind), and Edge of Tomorrow.

Also, look how much that moves when you’re swinging on it. It makes me worry.

By the way, she’s occasionally helpful and occasionally useless. She’s shot me in the back before. I’m not even kidding about that. She has literally shot me in the back with an arrow. Oh, classical Prince of Persia. Everyone wants to kill you. {roommate} (seriously, I’m sad you can’t hear the accent he puts on here; it’s great) I mean…

I forget where I have to go from here. It’s either to the window or… {roommate} It’s down here. It’s down that. {roommate} Wheee.

I think he said that I couldn’t make this, but I think I did last time, so he was lying to me.

I accidentally used the first person which I vowed to never do. That’s fine. {roommate}

Hi. Are you going to talk, or are you…just gonna stand there awkwardly, Farah? She’s just waiting for you to show up. {roommate}

Farah. I can’t jump it. [Prince] I say that but I make that jump.

He has a good line coming up. I need to go—{roommate} I’ll ask the first sand creature I see. “Could you direct me to the baths, please?” “Oh, thank you, don’t mention it, I used to be a bath attendant back when I was alive.” [Prince] (We both laugh)

And then he whines about Farah. “I’ll meet you at the baths.” She orders me around like a servant! It’s absurd! [Prince] Well, yeah. {roommate}

I’ve been too indulgent, probably because I felt sorry for her. [Prince] I mean, both of their parents died, so.

…That is, assuming I can find her. [Prince] Well, you know, don’t be too hard on yourself, man.

I mean, uh… {roommate} You were just stuck and then you decided to commit suicide. I mean, it’s like--{roommate} You’re a crazy person. Well, I mean, shouldn’t make too much fun of mental illness, but. Yeah. It’s, uh. {roommate} Yeah.

I mean, to make it more interesting you decided to repeatedly slap the wall rather than advancing down. {roommate} He does that so much though and it’s like why are you doing this? I want to show that wall who’s boss. {roommate, doing a decent Prince imitation} Also, Walk Like an Egyptian. I wanted to show that wall who’s boss. {roommate, doing a decent Prince imitation again} Then, I died. {roommate, normal voice}

(starts laughing) Look at him just staring at you going ‘what is your problem?’ Our problem is you! If I wanted to die that often it was my decision and it was important to show that wall who was boss. {roommate}

I honestly don’t think that repeatedly dying for—why are you—(incoherent with laughter) Now, don’t lie. {roommate} I told you he does this. He looks at us a lot when we’re talking about him. Anyway.

Are you going to cry, Mr. Prince of Persia? Are you going to cry? {roommate}

Anyway, I legit think that repeatedly dying and then using time magic to bring yourself back to life results in severe mental complications. Move along now. As will I. I won’t be troubling you anymore, Mr. Prince. {roommate}

Also. Magic healing water that we don’t need.

Do I know—(starts laughing again in the middle of singing)

I think I decided to commit suicide again. {roommate} He decides to randomly jump over a ton of fences and right down into the abyss. Uhh. Well, then. {roommate}

He also has a magic sword. Well, you know. {roommate} This is a magical blue sword.

Foooood. Also evil biiiiiiirds. They kind of look like ibises. Hmmm. {roommate} You know. Uhh… Wrong mythology, but. {roommate} Thoth. Yeah. {roommate} They’re also really, really annoying to try to fight. And they’re probably going to notice me and attempt to murder me.

I’m also concerned about how much these things move.

Also, have I told you about the weird mystical—I’ve seen it. {roommate} You have. Okay. Last time you came in, or? Last time, yeah. {roommate} These things probably also do not do good things for my mental health. Also, yes, I would very much like to save, thank you. And then I teleport to a pained ball on the ground. Good things. Also, the sand is what’s making all of these zombie creatures. So standing in it is probably not a good thing for you. Oh, he’s—he’s fine. {roommate} I’m thinking it’s—I have absolutely no doubts that he’s the best in both mental and physical health. {roommate} I’m thinking it’s kind of like Soma (the excellent parallels-with-Eclipse Phase horror video game) in that sticking your hand in the save spot is bad for you. Yeah. {roommate}

Also yes, he had to kill his father who became a sand wraith monster zombie. Well, I mean, how does he know he’s not one? {roommate} Umm. Because that’s a later game, perhaps? (Pretty much all I know about the Dark Prince, since I watched Two Thrones, is that he exists and he is essentially Ichigo’s Hollow. I can’t wait to play the middle one and see more.) He does keep coming back from the dead. {roommate} He has a magical dagger right there. I know that, but I’m just saying…{roommate}

Also there are supposedly only three people actually alive and I’m like, ‘how are you all protected’? I mean, the vizier had weird magic powers, so that might’ve made sense, but why is Farah shooting me with arrows in the back? Because she thinks you’re a zombie. And maybe she’s right. {roommate} I mean, she’s talked to us. And? Do zombies not talk? {roommate} These guys don’t. I don’t remember if the Vizier did. I don’t think he—I mean, not the Vizier, his dad.

Well. Uh. {roommate} He’s doing his gloomy pose now. Well, I did promise you I would be leaving, Mr. Prince. And I will be leaving. So you don’t need to feel gloomy anymore. Except for the fact that most of your family is probably dead. {roommate} I mean, that was just the king. This isn’t his kingdom. He hasn’t gone back there yet. He’s no longer in India. I’m not sure where he is. India’s where Farah’s from. They stole the Sand Glass, brought it to a friend whoever knows where their friend was.