High Magician S.L. 2

[madimpossibledreamer]

Main Points: Persona 4 Playthrough Mild AU
Chapter Summary: Souji's overwhelmed again
Word Count: 2023
Rating: K
Note:  ...Relatively spoiler-free, actually.  Aside from who's in the team and stuff.  Not 100% sure of continuity.  Once this is all written I'll have to get it all in order and make sure it makes sense and stuff.  I think it's somewhere between Mr. Maturity and The Enemy Within, timeline wise, but as it's somewhat cobbled together from two different ideas that kind of came together from different time periods when I was thinking about this, not entirely certain I made it all fit.  (The boyfriend thing, for one, has to be streamlined.  But again, I'll fix that later when I have more to work with-for one thing, Souji's Shadow.)
Fic is in second person again.  Also, there might be typos, etc because I'm really tired.

 

            "So."  Yosuke can be ridiculously mature and responsible when he wants to be, which is great.  He doesn't poke fun at the others as much (though he still does with Chie and you suspect that's just a natural part of their friendship since she does too.)  He doesn't even complain as much, and when he does, it's not the whiny pettiness that you'd come to expect and had really started to get on your nerves.  What complaining he does is reassuring in a weird way that means you should probably check whether a Furious Gigas hasn't caused head damage.  And really, his position as "Lieutenant" and his ability to organize (as well as you, if not better, not that anyone but you would acknowledge it) is kind of sexy.  He wears the position well.  But if he's really that good, do they really need you? your Shadow whispers in your ear, and you shake your head just enough to make it shut up but hopefully not enough that Yosuke actually notices.

            It makes you a little insecure at times, but it's really...You like it, is the point.  So you didn't think you'd be dissatisfied with the situation.  But his need to organize, especially to this extent, is a little bothersome.  This, on top of the fact that you haven't even seen him other than in class this entire week, is making you feel guilty.  And yeah, okay, so he'll probably be more understanding if he knows what's consuming all your time, but...

            "You heard the question, right?"  Oh, great, now you've taken too long.

 

>...

>"I'm not ignoring you."

            you say immediately.  From the way Yosuke's cheeks warm, he looks pleased that you're going out of your way to prove he's not unwelcome.

            Hearing the question isn't the problem here.  Of course you'd heard him.  Asking what jobs you have and how much you're paid is a pretty obvious question, especially for someone who's basically appointed himself the Inaba Team Treasurer.  Your sleep deprived mind leads you to consider for a moment telling Mr. Hanamura all about his son's accomplishments, not only practically being a manager at Junes, but also in just helping out with the Investigation Team, but then you remember how that would probably end and quickly throw that thought out.  The problem here is that, for you, it's not exactly the easy question Yosuke thinks it is.

            "Yosuke...."

 

>"Could you repeat that?"

>...

>"...it'd be easier to just write you a list."

 

            You consider asking him to repeat the question for a moment, but all that would be doing is stalling, just like denying your Shadow, and that's not going to help anything.  You can't meet his eyes, though, and just end up staring at your hands.

            He's uncertain, but peers at you a little closer.  You can feel his gaze as it sharpens, leading to a tingle that isn't as pleasant as having his attention usually is.  You manage to glance back up.  Whatever he sees in your expression must be an answer of some kind because he sighs and crosses his arms, still staring directly at you.  "I'm not going to like the answer, am I?"

            Somewhere along the line, Hanamura became observant without anyone noticing. 

            When you don't make a move to speak, he continues, "I'd like you to feel able to tell me anything." 

            "Yosuke..."  You might be kind of broken, honestly.  You quickly look away.  You're not about to cry.  Really.  This is stupid.

            Suddenly Yosuke's next to you on the couch, a warm, reassuring presence that you're tempted to lean into and just close your eyes for a bit.  He cautiously puts his arm around your shoulders, and yeah, okay, so he's dealing with this like he'll be bitten by a snake if he's not careful, but it still warms your heart a little.  Enough, maybe, to get you to open up, to show him your vulnerabilities, because even if you absolutely hate showing anyone those, this is Yosuke of all people.

 

>Can we talk about this later?

>Don't...don't be mad, Yosuke.

>You accepted my Shadow, too.

 

            It's insane, but you're worried about how he's going to take it.  Which, yeah, okay.  That's probably not going to happen.  But still.  He means a lot to you.  All of them do.  The thought of scaring them away has haunted more than one nightmare.  But they've stayed, even after learning you're not the perfect image your parents like so much, after the cats and mop weapon and you and Yukiko giggling like dorks over the stupid glasses, so you must be doing something right.  Which just makes them more important to you, just makes you more scared of losing them, to the self-appointed quest, to something you'll do or say.

            He squeezes your shoulder in encouragement, and you nod slowly and try to figure out where to begin.

            "Okay, we're actually a lot closer to broke than you noticed.  Not that you weren't diligent or anything," you hasten to tell him, because you can see the guilt in his eyes, and that'll only break you completely right now.  "It's just that Daidara has a log of new weapons and armor, and I have to try to determine how I'm going to keep everyone outfitted.  It'd go a lot better if those stupid hands didn't keep escaping..."

            You trail off.  You didn't notice that your hands were balled up into fists to the point that your fingernails were digging in until Yosuke put a hand on top of yours.  You try to relax.

            "It's why I was so annoyed with Rise, when she kept getting excited about that.  They're not that hard.  They're just tough.  We could've taken them, and we really could have used the money.  And I could've kissed you when you kept somehow knocking them down, even though they didn't have any weaknesses..."

            "Why didn't you?" Yosuke asks, somewhat breathless.  You turn your head to look, and he meets your gaze with an embarrassed grin, which you can't help but lean in and kiss.  It's nice, and you want to keep doing it, but Yosuke pulls back.  He really wants an answer.

            You sigh and continue.  "I've been neglecting Naoto, and Chie, and Teddie.  They're not on the team much, so they don't really need all the newest equipment, but it's somewhat dangerous, if they have to come in and save us."

            From Yosuke's expression, he hadn't considered that.  And now he's not happy that he didn't.  "You think that might be a problem?"

            "I've thought about it."  You've thought about far too many things.  Dreamed far too many others.  Sometimes there's an overlap, sometimes there's not.

            "Oh, Chie's wondering why she's not on the A-Team."  Yosuke laughs at your expression and clarifies, "You know, why she's on the beta team."

            Sometimes it's shocking that Yosuke knows English at all, given his test scores.

            "I don't...I don't want to neglect anyone, but...There's a certain amount of having to cover for all the elements, just for weaknesses, and I don't want anyone to feel left out, or that they won't be included, so I try to switch out everyone when I can, but I like having you there and Yukiko's healing..."  Before you realize it, you're almost babbling.  Which is weird, given how talkative you are when nothing's wrong (which is to say, not very).

            Hanamura shakes his head and pulls you closer.  "Sorry for getting you off-topic.  What about the jobs?"

            "Well...I don't always end up working every night because there's only so much time I can plan for.  But at least everyone's really good about it and doesn't bother me too much and is always happy to see me when I can come."  At his look, you elaborate.  "I have to fish, sometimes, because the cats like it and I trade a few fish for supplies, and there's this Guardian that I'm trying to catch for an Ema request, even though it's not the right Guardian, because without it I can't prove that I'm anywhere good enough to catch the Sea one, and it's also a good time to go and buy equipment, but I also have a pile of books people keep giving me that I've been neglecting because I haven't had time, and I have to study at some point, and there's a couple models I was given earlier that I should work on.  And I can talk to Adachi or Nanako or sometimes just people hanging out, which takes a while but I miss just hanging out with people to get to know them, so I don't mind that much.  At night, I can fold cranes or envelopes or translate, but the envelope thing is volunteer work and I don't get paid for that.  And I can also go work at Shiroku or the hospital or go tutor, but I haven't been to the hospital or the tutor work much, because I've been really busy and I know you think I'm a lucky guy but that nurse is actually really scary and I think I might have to ask Dojima how sexual harassment charges work because she scares me."

            Brown eyes get steadily bigger they stare at you and try to make sense of everything you're saying, but by this point you can't stop it.  It all comes tumbling out, like with the Shadow, like you're on a train and it's going to crash but you can't find the brake.

            "There's social links, and maybe going into the TV and more fishing and shopping and Okina and I can work as an assistant day care taker, and Daisuke and Kou haven't really seen much of me lately and I feel sorry that I look like I'm abandoning the team after so many people did the same thing and don't even really care, but I can't really help that.  And drama.  Not that Yumi isn't great, but it'd help if she actually had a partner to practice with.  And I've had time to briefly talk to everyone, but I haven't really been able to feed the cats much or pet them or play with them and it's sad because they're so adorable.  I don't remember exactly how much I get for each job because I'm spending most of it on our equipment, and selling stuff back isn't nearly enough to get another weapon."

            You're interrupted.  "Woah, woah, slow down, jeez."  Yosuke sighs, trying to take it all in.  He jokes about you trying to do everything, but that's when he'd actually thought it was possible.  It's still possible, but...not without cost.  "O-okay, I don't care what you have, cancel it."

            "What?"

            "You sound kind of overwhelmed, and...Souji, you ended up having a Shadow.  We might've been more focused on ourselves, but...we certainly won't be now.  The Investigation Team is a force of nature."  That's pride in Yosuke's voice, and you manage a smile.  It's true, really.  If you get them all united working together for a common goal, well, there's not really much that they can't do.  "Besides, I wanted to spend some time with my b-boyfriend."  He stumbles his way through saying that, but your face lights up and it's worth it.

 

>"Boyfriend?"

>"I want to spend time with you too."

            you ask, almost dazed, and Yosuke hastens to agree.

            "Uh, yeah, I mean, we're...dating, right?"  He starts out pretty confident, but by the end he's actually begging for an answer.

 

>"We've been doing that for a while, Yosuke."

>Kiss him

>"No."

 

            It's not final, and you end up blushing a little, too, at the hurt look Yosuke gives you.  "Neither of us ended up asking.  You know, for a date."

            "Yeah, okay, well, I'm asking now.  On second thoughts... I'm not asking.  I'm telling you.  I am going on a date with my boyfriend today and he's not going to argue with me about it."  Okay, Yosuke is more than a little adorable when he's looking out for you.  As much as your brain is screaming at you that you're being irresponsible, the homework can wait until later tonight.