Don't You Know I Suffer
Nov. 22nd, 2017 11:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madimpossibledreamerMain Points:
Star Trek (the 2009!movie verse) Cambion AU
Summary: Jim has a question for Pike...
Word Count: 1149
Rating: Teen, probably
Warning: Kirk gets drugged-he's with Pike so he's okay, but still a warning to be had.
Star Trek (the 2009!movie verse) Cambion AU
Summary: Jim has a question for Pike...
Word Count: 1149
Rating: Teen, probably
Warning: Kirk gets drugged-he's with Pike so he's okay, but still a warning to be had.
“What are long-term relationships actually like?”
The kid had been so quiet that Chris hadn’t actually expected anything from him other than a quiet appreciation of the San Francisco night, so it takes him a moment or two to respond.
The oddest thing is that it sounds…wistful.
“I…I can’t say I really know,” he answers, surprised, and Jim hums quietly. “That’s not to say it’s not something I’ve ever wanted, but being a Captain makes relationships extremely difficult. If you wanted one, your best chance is probably to date someone and get engaged or married before you go up there.” He gestures toward the sky.
“I’ve seen what happens when it goes wrong. Mom never got over…George.” He swallows and looks uncomfortable. “She loved him so much she couldn’t even look at her own kids. I can’t tell you how many times since you found me when I was seventeen I wondered if she knew I wasn’t actually George’s kid, but I think it’s just.” He swipes a knuckle at his eyes, and Chris realizes the kid is probably crying. He debates what he should do for a little while before deciding that, as with the rest of the kid’s emotions, drawing attention to them will only make things worse. “It’s like—it’s like their love was a star, up there in the sky. And then when it died, it just collapsed into a black hole that swallowed everything and didn’t leave any love left for us.” He sniffs. “Sorry to get maudlin; it’s Sam’s birthday and I haven’t heard from him since he ran away. Crap.”
Pike tries hard not to respond; he really does. But this is more than he’s heard from the kid about his life than…well, maybe ever. Despite the fact that he’s demonstrated, over and over, that he somehow considers Pike and Boyce safe people. He’s slow to trust, and maybe Chris would feel better about it if he had a clue as to how he’d earned that.
The smug grin would be more convincing if not for the haunted look in the deceptively innocent blue eyes. “Yeah, I know a few big words. Reading’s fun, although it’s a pity it’s over so soon.”
The moment stretches to the point Pike thinks he’s shut the kid down without even saying anything, when Jim starts talking again. “I’m curious, you know. I might not ever experience it, myself, but…I gotta wonder, you know? What it’s like to just hold someone’s hand or kiss them just for the sake of kissing them. To actually care about one person like that. I try not to watch romances because, well, they bore me and they make me weepy, and I’m gonna be Captain someday. I’m gonna have to be the strong one in the room. At least when there’s anyone else in the room. But there’s…there’s courtship, there’s talking, there’s flowers and gifts. What it’s like to have romance that burns like the sun and would burn itself right out of you if it’s lost.”
Pike can’t keep silent any longer. “It’s not easy, Jim, but it’s not impossible as starship Captain. You can still have that, if you wanted.”
And now Jim’s expression is definitely bitter. “You could have that. I can’t. I have a ‘condition’,” he uses sarcastic air quotes, “…that’s apparently so out of the norm even in the twenty-third century I’m a man-slut.”
“Are you drunk?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and at the look of betrayed hurt, he wishes, more than anything, he could take them back. “I—I’m not ignoring your concerns, and if I could fix any of this, I would. Believe me.”
Jim’s still looking hurt, but after a moment or two he nods, exhaling slowly.
“It’s just—despite the rumors I hear, this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk about yourself.” He’s aware that trying to defend his actions might just make the situation worse, but if nothing else explaining things rather than assuming he’ll understand has worked out so far.
The Command cadet chuckles. “I might be a little tipsy, yeah. Nothing was supposed to be alcoholic, but the punch is anyway.” He outright smirks. “Which is why I drank all of it. Someone was planning to use it in a not so good way.”
Pike instantly panics. “Why didn’t you warn me? We could have confiscated it!” He should start teaching Kirk to use the chain of command, rather than just resenting it. Then again, given his reaction to authority and his trust issues and the number of people—like Kodos, like that damned stepfather—who’d misused it blatantly, no wonder, but he can’t get through the Command program if he can’t adapt to using it. And that Jim felt the need to step in like that probably means some sort of sexual harassment, if not worse. It’s not altogether surprising, considering the reports he gets after the fights Kirk’s gotten into since he joined Starfleet. He better make sure the culprits don’t get away with it, and that if anyone else has been affected that they get the aid they need.
Jim’s head flops forward as if it’s been cut from its strings. Chris supports it with one hand, looking for signs of what’s wrong in the kid’s face. He’s picked up a few things over the years. James frowns, looking a little confused. “Didn’ occur to me, I guess,” he mutters. “I don’t feel so good.”
“I’m going to tell Archer, and then you and I are taking a trip to visit Phil. Don’t go anywhere.” It’d be good if no one else gets like this, and if the culprits are still here they should be caught. On the other hand, Jim’s probably having an allergy attack.
Pike grabs the allergy hypo and jams it in the kid’s neck. Thank the stars that he’s started carrying those around with him every time he goes to see his problem recruit.
“Ow,” Jim mutters sleepily. “I like Phil. He’s great. Remind me to tell him what’s up.”
He’s quick as he can possibly be. When he comes back, the kid is still awake, but he looks a little lost, like he’s in shock.
“Stay with me, Jim. I need you to keep being a pain in my ass, because finding a replacement at this point is going to be really difficult.” If he can talk and be the distraction, as he mostly carries the cadet.
He coughs and croaks, “D’you, you know, mean that physically?”
“Don’t you ever stop?” Chris asks, incredulous, and gets a lopsided grin in return.
“Shouldn’t be talking.” That voice is definitely hoarse. “Usually it’s not this bad. Flirt when at a loss or comfortable. Game. Seeing how far I have to go to get a reaction.”
Christopher practically runs, dragging the cadet along.
The kid had been so quiet that Chris hadn’t actually expected anything from him other than a quiet appreciation of the San Francisco night, so it takes him a moment or two to respond.
The oddest thing is that it sounds…wistful.
“I…I can’t say I really know,” he answers, surprised, and Jim hums quietly. “That’s not to say it’s not something I’ve ever wanted, but being a Captain makes relationships extremely difficult. If you wanted one, your best chance is probably to date someone and get engaged or married before you go up there.” He gestures toward the sky.
“I’ve seen what happens when it goes wrong. Mom never got over…George.” He swallows and looks uncomfortable. “She loved him so much she couldn’t even look at her own kids. I can’t tell you how many times since you found me when I was seventeen I wondered if she knew I wasn’t actually George’s kid, but I think it’s just.” He swipes a knuckle at his eyes, and Chris realizes the kid is probably crying. He debates what he should do for a little while before deciding that, as with the rest of the kid’s emotions, drawing attention to them will only make things worse. “It’s like—it’s like their love was a star, up there in the sky. And then when it died, it just collapsed into a black hole that swallowed everything and didn’t leave any love left for us.” He sniffs. “Sorry to get maudlin; it’s Sam’s birthday and I haven’t heard from him since he ran away. Crap.”
Pike tries hard not to respond; he really does. But this is more than he’s heard from the kid about his life than…well, maybe ever. Despite the fact that he’s demonstrated, over and over, that he somehow considers Pike and Boyce safe people. He’s slow to trust, and maybe Chris would feel better about it if he had a clue as to how he’d earned that.
The smug grin would be more convincing if not for the haunted look in the deceptively innocent blue eyes. “Yeah, I know a few big words. Reading’s fun, although it’s a pity it’s over so soon.”
The moment stretches to the point Pike thinks he’s shut the kid down without even saying anything, when Jim starts talking again. “I’m curious, you know. I might not ever experience it, myself, but…I gotta wonder, you know? What it’s like to just hold someone’s hand or kiss them just for the sake of kissing them. To actually care about one person like that. I try not to watch romances because, well, they bore me and they make me weepy, and I’m gonna be Captain someday. I’m gonna have to be the strong one in the room. At least when there’s anyone else in the room. But there’s…there’s courtship, there’s talking, there’s flowers and gifts. What it’s like to have romance that burns like the sun and would burn itself right out of you if it’s lost.”
Pike can’t keep silent any longer. “It’s not easy, Jim, but it’s not impossible as starship Captain. You can still have that, if you wanted.”
And now Jim’s expression is definitely bitter. “You could have that. I can’t. I have a ‘condition’,” he uses sarcastic air quotes, “…that’s apparently so out of the norm even in the twenty-third century I’m a man-slut.”
“Are you drunk?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and at the look of betrayed hurt, he wishes, more than anything, he could take them back. “I—I’m not ignoring your concerns, and if I could fix any of this, I would. Believe me.”
Jim’s still looking hurt, but after a moment or two he nods, exhaling slowly.
“It’s just—despite the rumors I hear, this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk about yourself.” He’s aware that trying to defend his actions might just make the situation worse, but if nothing else explaining things rather than assuming he’ll understand has worked out so far.
The Command cadet chuckles. “I might be a little tipsy, yeah. Nothing was supposed to be alcoholic, but the punch is anyway.” He outright smirks. “Which is why I drank all of it. Someone was planning to use it in a not so good way.”
Pike instantly panics. “Why didn’t you warn me? We could have confiscated it!” He should start teaching Kirk to use the chain of command, rather than just resenting it. Then again, given his reaction to authority and his trust issues and the number of people—like Kodos, like that damned stepfather—who’d misused it blatantly, no wonder, but he can’t get through the Command program if he can’t adapt to using it. And that Jim felt the need to step in like that probably means some sort of sexual harassment, if not worse. It’s not altogether surprising, considering the reports he gets after the fights Kirk’s gotten into since he joined Starfleet. He better make sure the culprits don’t get away with it, and that if anyone else has been affected that they get the aid they need.
Jim’s head flops forward as if it’s been cut from its strings. Chris supports it with one hand, looking for signs of what’s wrong in the kid’s face. He’s picked up a few things over the years. James frowns, looking a little confused. “Didn’ occur to me, I guess,” he mutters. “I don’t feel so good.”
“I’m going to tell Archer, and then you and I are taking a trip to visit Phil. Don’t go anywhere.” It’d be good if no one else gets like this, and if the culprits are still here they should be caught. On the other hand, Jim’s probably having an allergy attack.
Pike grabs the allergy hypo and jams it in the kid’s neck. Thank the stars that he’s started carrying those around with him every time he goes to see his problem recruit.
“Ow,” Jim mutters sleepily. “I like Phil. He’s great. Remind me to tell him what’s up.”
He’s quick as he can possibly be. When he comes back, the kid is still awake, but he looks a little lost, like he’s in shock.
“Stay with me, Jim. I need you to keep being a pain in my ass, because finding a replacement at this point is going to be really difficult.” If he can talk and be the distraction, as he mostly carries the cadet.
He coughs and croaks, “D’you, you know, mean that physically?”
“Don’t you ever stop?” Chris asks, incredulous, and gets a lopsided grin in return.
“Shouldn’t be talking.” That voice is definitely hoarse. “Usually it’s not this bad. Flirt when at a loss or comfortable. Game. Seeing how far I have to go to get a reaction.”
Christopher practically runs, dragging the cadet along.
