Coolest Clubhouse

[madimpossibledreamer]

I have no idea why these are going the way they are but they're practically writing themselves, so I'm not about to argue.  (I still have to get a job.  And write more SS.  Possibly not in that order.)
~Dreamer~

Main Points:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Avengers Crossover (Self-Made Hero)
Summary: The Avengers meet Xander.
Word Count: 860
Rating: Gen

         The Avengers walk in on Xander with a sandwich in his mouth, tinkering with the toaster.  He’s not sure why, exactly, he’s focusing on the toaster but if there’s anything he’s learned along the line it’s that tinkering costs less and is less dangerous than telling random people his secrets, so he’s not about to stop. 
         He knows it’s not planned, because if nothing else Star or JARVIS would’ve found some way to give him a head’s up, orders or not.  He also knows why they’re staring, finding all the similarities and differences and finding it as uncanny as Pepper had. 
         They hadn’t exactly talked about it, but he could tell with a 98% accuracy that Tony hadn’t been planning on telling the rest the full truth, if nothing else because they hadn’t figured out the whole SHIELDRA angle and it wasn’t worth the cleanup if HYDRA managed to dimension travel.  “What?  You’re all staring at me.  Are you waiting for me to turn into a lobster, because I swear, I only do that on Tuesdays.”
         Steve blinks a few times, looking so nonplussed that he has to avoid giggling like a maniac.
         “Please tell me you’ve got a shot of their expressions just then.  That was priceless.”  He can’t completely hide the laughter in his voice as he sets the sandwich down before leaning in closer and squinting at the close work he’s doing with the world’s tiniest screwdriver.
         “Yes, young master,” JARVIS responds, which instantly gets Natasha started with her mistaken impressions.  Which, well, when they’re handing it to him…
         “You’re the son?  Fury wants to talk to you,” she states neutrally, looking for a reaction from him, he’s sure.
         He waits a few moments until he’s done tinkering and then sits back, making a face at the toaster.  “I’d rather not?” he responds, and curses himself a little that it comes out a little plaintively.  “I mean, we could chat a bit about all the pirate jokes and how depth perception is a bitch, but I’m not sure we’d have anything else in common.”  He rubs at his eyes, realizing how much he probably needs sleep, before he realizes he hadn’t answered her other question.  “Oh, yeah, also, not son, no.  Ewww.”  He shivers a little before putting on his best Stark grin and holding a hand out for anyone willing to take it.  “Brother.  Younger, obvs.  Alexander, technically Stark but I changed my last name to Knight because it sounded cool, though y’all can call me Xander.”
         Steve is the only one who goes for the handshake.  It’s nice, respectful and all, and he decides on the spot it’s enough to forgive the guy, since he definitely hadn’t been responsible for Howard being an ass and honestly would probably be appalled at his old friend’s behavior.  It’s a kind of rash decision but he’s had plenty of those and doesn’t plan to let anything change his mind now he’s made his choice.  “Steve.”
         He smirks.  “Anyone who doesn’t have a clue who you are has been under longer than you, cupcake.”
         Actually, Steve's not the only one, because two seconds later Thor’s practically tearing his arm off.  “IT IS GOOD TO MEET YOU, STARKSON THE YOUNGER,” he bellows, and Xander winces.
         “Thor, I kinda need my hearing.  And my arm.  Though I appreciate your enthusiasm, as they say in showbiz.”
         Thor instantly drops his arm like it’s a hot potato, and he massages it a bit before grinning at the god, to show him there’s no hard feelings.
         “Hey, I’m guessing everyone’s met Xander.  I can hear Thor over my music in the workshop,” Tony states in full showman mode, and he’s exaggerating a little but only because Tony actually turns his music down when he figures Xander is asleep or should be.  “We should have you be the commentator for sports events.  You don’t even need the mike, and you’ve got the enthusiasm for it.”
         “I’d watch it, and I don’t tend to watch sports,” Clint finally adds.
         “Heathen,” Tony and Xander say in perfect unison.
         “I’ll bet he watches the bow events at the Olympics, though,” Xander responds thoughtfully, before turning to Bruce, who’s awfully quiet and keeps shuffling.  “You want a hug, don’t you.  Come here, you big lug.  You won’t break me.”
         He pulls the skittish scientist in for a hug, and Tony laughs and joins in, and it’s hard to tell who follows (he’s gonna suspect Widow for that one but he’ll never have proof) but suddenly he’s covered in a huge ball of Avengers group hug and he’s laughing and if there are a few tears nobody’s going to see anyway.
         Tony had promised no Civil War, which only works if the others are on board with Plan Being a Team, and this feels like a start.  It feels like Spring, it feels like hope, it feels like something new.
         And then Rhodey walks in.  “Tony, I thought we agreed—no more orgies,” and then the three of them are laughing hard enough that they can’t breathe, much less stand, and Pepper just rolls her eyes when she walks in.