Breakin' Through

[madimpossibledreamer]

wait nova kaiser does timestop—tatsuya really is a spirit brother to jotaro—
(and also probably Okabe Rintaro)
also baby tatsuya oras
After something went really wrong (you know, more than the whole 'end of the world' and 'people dying' thing), the requirements changed—what couldn’t be remembered was the whole Eyes of Heaven-esque storyline, so they remember meeting and fighting with Personas.  Tatsuya also briefly got the ability to alter reality himself.  (No, I haven’t quite finished Eyes of Heaven, but lbr after the D’arby fight it went downhill a bit.)  None of them even remember that they’re not supposed to remember, and everything near the finales is a little hazy though they don’t realize.
so they even remember 'we're persona-users and also have a lot of baggage, man, aliens, am I right?' but are mostly like 'this kind of trauma doesn't even make sense in the context of this, Tatsuya just started acting really weird, what'.

Main Points:
Persona 2/eventual Persona 4 crossover
Chapter Summary: Tatsuya's answers only stir up more questions, but Jun isn't willing to let it go this time.
Word Count: 1717
Rating: gen
Pairing: Eventual Jun/Tatsuya (again), though there is actual flirting and mutual interest still in this one

 

        “Why are you here?” Jun prompts.  It seems that Tatsuya had been content to let him play host and make small talk, actually offering a sentence about the book he’d picked up in the airport and superficial comments here and there about where he’d been—some outside Japan, which is interesting but not anything real.  How are you? he wants to ask, shaking the answers out of the man.  Why are you suffering?  Why did you promise me forever and then leave?  Why won’t you let anyone help you?
        Tatsuya looks away quickly, the ease and relaxed manner he’d begun to display, opening up like a shy flower in Jun’s presence and after a sip or two of the drink he was given disappearing instantly.  Then he glances back up, expression hard, challenging.  Can’t a man just visit one of his oldest friends? the expression says, and Jun’s eyes narrow as he shakes his head once, deliberately.  He has in the past, sure, and Jun didn’t press him then, too concerned that it might make his crush reconsider a visit in the future, but his patience is gone, and this time he’s not just going to watch the man walk through his life and pretend he’s not a living ghost.
        His voice is implacable as he says the words, enunciating every one precisely.  “You missed Lisa-chan’s wedding.”
        From the look of Tatsuya’s jaw, the way he suddenly begins flicking the lighter again, they’re heading for a fight.  Particularly with the way he refuses to respond at all, not even a grunt.  Refuses to engage.  Good, the nasty, Joker-ish part of Jun snarls.  Let them fight.  This has been building for ages, and if the others are too polite to call him on his bullshit, Jun can play the villain again.
        “She wanted you there.”  If only for some closure.  At least she was able to move on.  Jun couldn’t, although at this point he can’t tell the difference between love and spite anymore.
        “I didn’t think she would,” Tatsuya admits, and at this his anger explodes, burning white-hot.
        Tatsuya actually recoils from him when he slams his table with his hands, the glasses rattling.  “This isn’t like you, so why are you trying to prove you’re so cruel?  Our lives don’t revolve around you anymore!  She didn’t want you there as a last-ditch effort to get you to marry her instead; she wanted her friends there, although I’m having trouble remembering why any of us consider you one anymore, considering that none of us ever see you!  I’ve spoken more to your brother than you in the past five years, and I don’t even think he likes me!”
        Jun might feel bad about his outburst, except he absolutely doesn’t, because that’s been building for far too long and finally getting to say the frustrations they’ve all been having dealing with their infuriating former comrade-in-arms feels viciously triumphant.  Tatsuya, meanwhile, looks a little surprised and hurt, which he absolutely shouldn’t, because, again, this has been a long time coming.  The guilt, though, that’s absolutely deserved.  Maybe it’ll make him rethink his choices.
        And there it is, the anger, the fire that he’s been hoping to see, because he’s wanted this fight for so long.  (The Joker part of him actually whispers finally, but he ignores that.  He’s known for a while about his, er, less than vanilla tendencies, the darker parts of himself he wishes to ignore.  This isn’t the time.)
        The lighter flicks shut, loudly, as final as a door slam.  “Let me finish my sentence,” he bites out, and smirks, a hollow triumphant thing with none of the joy Jun had expected.  “I was going to say, I didn’t think she would want me to be here…the way I was.”
        It takes Kashihara a moment or two, out of practice at reading Tatsuya’s vague statements as clearly as any flower message he’s ever seen, before he puts two and two together and gasps, looking the man over for hidden injuries.  He’d done a cursory inspection before, but he’d been too distracted by seeing his infuriating crush again and the fact that he was annoyed to be thorough about it.  “You were injured.” 
        He begins massaging his forehead, headache building once more.  It had to be serious, and he hadn’t had backup, probably either; Katsuya had informed him, stern and disapproving, like anyone could corral Tatsuya when he was being stubborn, that his brother had remained a loner, even in this.  If it were the kind of thing that could be covered up with a deflection and makeup, Tatsuya would have turned up, even if it was late.  No matter how awful he was about showing it, he did care about his friends—which leads to the next point, that even if that was true he’d been informed of the date, so perhaps part of him wanted that excuse.  “But you purposefully went out and—”
        “It was an emergency.”  He crosses his arms, defensive now.  “I was the only one who would go.  Activity’s been picking up.”  Translation: he was the only one who could go, because while Sanada Akihiko has been just as driven as Tatsuya, he was somewhere else at the time.  Which he only knows because of Katsuya, because empty words and empty smiles are all he’s had of Tatsuya for twelve years.  The Persona-User chuckles.  “And I really would be the asshole if I asked her to postpone her wedding so she and her friends could go fight.”
        All right, fine, there’s the guilt, almost despite himself.  “Tatsu-chan,” Jun whispers, and his crush shivers, just as affected as when they were kids.  He’s hidden his feelings well, but then, forcing the distance might have been the only way he could think of to keep that a secret, from Jun anyway.  “All right, you may have had a good excuse that time, but you don’t have to be the only one out there.  Let someone else shoulder the burden for a while.  The new Persona Users are improving, aren’t they?”  Not voiced is the feeling that he’s had for most of this decade that the younger Suou is attempting to destroy himself, forcing anyone that ever cared about him to merely watch.
        “Maybe I’m trying to atone for my sins,” Tatsuya jokes, only in that moment Jun realizes that it’s not a joke at all.  He fully believes what he’s saying, but that makes absolutely no sense.
        “I could see that being said about me, but you?”  He moves closer to Tatsuya, who turns away a little.  He clearly doesn’t want to talk about this, but that’s too bad.  Jun is tired of just letting this go.  “Tatsu-chan, please.  What are you punishing yourself for?”
        Flick.  Flick.  Flick.
        He puts a hand on Tatsuya’s shoulder, and the man flinches, the flicking faltering for a single moment.  “Katsuya told me if I don’t get a partner for this one he’s taking me off,” his crush tells him, and it’s an olive branch, if not a direct answer.  A chance for him to find out the answer for himself, if only he had the courage.  Jun finds himself surprised for a single moment that Suou-san had actually stepped in before realizing that thought is ridiculous; the only surprise here is that the serious Police Chief had not done so sooner.
        Still, he can’t help but tease a little.  “You know I don’t do that anymore, right?  Though maybe it’s better you get a forced rest, for once.”
        His stoic dragon apparently is so anxious, though, he doesn’t catch on.  “I…of course it was too much to ask you to risk your life; I’m sorry.  I guess I’ll have to ask Sanada-kun.  Sorry for bothering you—”
        He turns away as if to leave, and Jun can’t hold in his playful laughter anymore, tightening the grip on his shoulder.  Tatsuya turns to him, question in his eyes.
        “Where do you think you’re going?”  Surely he wouldn’t simply go to a hotel, sure he was unwanted—no, wait, as Jun says that in his head, he’s sure that’s exactly what his old friend is going to do.  For an intelligent man, he’s clueless sometimes.  “I’m teasing you, and in any case, you’re welcome here at any time.  I have been waiting to call you my partner my whole life, and you’re aware I’d do anything you asked of me, right?”  He would do anything for Tatsuya, but he generally trusts Tatsuya’s judgment—aside from the fact that the man is still a disaster who doesn’t know how to and doesn’t want to take care of himself.  True, it’s probably better for him to stay out of combat, given that it feeds into a side of him best forgotten, but if Tatsuya had asked for help, say, twelve years ago, Kashihara would gladly have joined him without a second thought.
        The man coughs and blushes, but looks away, finally giving a short, curt nod.  Someone less familiar with the brunet might think he’s angry; Jun is more than aware that he’s merely embarrassed.
        He begins walking to his bedroom, and Tatsuya trails, looking confused and a little lost.  Jun pushes down the urge to kiss him—yes, it’s a possibility, but now would be a little too soon even if his dragon might want that again.
        “Do I get to learn anything about where we’re going?” Jun asks, texting his secretary to inform her that he’s taking a leave of absence and to ensure Erizawa-chan could take care of the outstanding orders.  Any classes will, sadly, have to be postponed.  Refunds should be made available if this is unacceptable.  If necessary, he will probably be available to consult via phone, though cannot guarantee a prompt reply.  Family matters, he says, and it’s not entirely a lie, for Tatsuya is probably the closest he has to family and it’s a wish he’s had since he was a child.
        “Yes, it’s a little town called Inaba…” Tatsuya explains slowly, a little rattled, and Jun grins up at him from where he’s thrown the suitcase on the bed.
        “I like to get started as soon as I know I’m going on vacation.  Please, Tatsu-chan, continue.”  After a hesitant moment, he does.